“We’re not that club anymore. At least, we’re trying not to be. Do we attract trouble?” I looked down at my bust up body before swaying my head from side to side. “Evidently. Do we like it? Somedays. Do we want it as a permanent feature in our futures? No. And if you struggle to understand why I’ve had such a change of heart, you just need to look at that woman over there and see for yourself.”
I didn’t have to look up to see where she was. I could feel her, my hand rising and pointing in her direction as I kept my eyes on Sutton. He took one glance over his shoulder, spotted Ayda and turned back to me.
“You expect me to believe that one girl has changed a whole history of corrupt morals for you?
“No,” I said, lowering my voice and peeking up through hooded eyes. “I expect you to believe thatthatgirl has changed a whole history of corrupt and fucked up morals for me. For all of us. Shit happens, Chief. Sometimes it’s good;sometimes it’s bad. Sometimes it’s the most unexpected shit you can imagine. She’s my good and my unexpected, and right now, she’s all that matters. If she matters to me, she matters to my men. Everything she loves matters to all of us. I don’t expect you to understand, but you better fucking believe it, because I’ve never been more serious about anything in my entire, miserable-before-she-came-along existence.”
His eyes went wider the more I spoke, forcing him to swallow down again as he took one more look over his shoulder and stared at her for a length of time that would have made me feel uncomfortable had we been in any other situation. But I needed him to see what I saw.
When he eventually turned back to face me, his nod was a silent communication to let me know he understood.
“Good,” I said through a sigh, straightening up and pushing my hands carefully into the tops of my thighs. “So we’re friends? Two people working together for once instead of trying to tear each other apart?”
“I’d like that.” He ran his hand down over his mouth, resting it on the edge of his chin before shaking his head at the weird situation we were in and locking eyes with mine. “I’d like that.”
“Then it’s already done.”
“Thank you.”
“No, thank you. Without you doing what you did, I wouldn’t be here. That’s the kind of stuff that never gets forgotten in this club. It’s a mutual respect. We’ll help you keep your involvement covered from the rest of the law, we’ll deal with Maisey’s…” I trailed off, not wanting or needing to say the word funeral. We both knew where I was going. “The girls will be safe and they’ll get to keep their father at home.”
Sutton’s nostrils flared as he pulled in another deep breath and held it high in his chest. When he spoke, it came out through the exhale, followed by a weird, misplaced smile I hadn’t expected to see.
“Seems like a few knocks to the head has made you a better man, Tucker.”
My responding grin was immediate, my eyes widening as I straightened up and took a quick glance at Ayda before meeting his gaze again. “Or maybe I was just a good guy all along, Chief?”
Chapter Fifty-One
Ayda
My eyes were drawn to him. No matter who I was talking to or the topic of conversation, my gaze consistently moved back to Drew. It seemed ridiculous considering how much time we’d spent with one another over the last few days, and in close proximity. Yet, I couldn’t seem to stop. I needed to know he was still taking those breaths. I wanted to study the lines of his face and those intense eyes as he tried to read the situation going on around him. More than all of that, I had to remind myself how lucky we both were to be alive and still have one another.
“How’s that back of yours?” Deeks asked, pushing a beer in my hand with an awkward shuffle of his shoulders as he bounced on the balls of his feet a couple times. I’d known he’d taken the whole thing hard. In the few conversations I’d had with Autumn when she brought Drew and me food, she’d mentioned his concern. That was exactly the reason I threw my arms around him the moment I had the beer in my good hand. I was still aching, but the sentiment was to tell him to stop worrying and that I would be fine. It worked, too. His thick arms folded around me and tightened only briefly before he let me go and stepped out of my embrace.
“I’ll be good as new in no time,” I said quietly, taking a mouthful of beer before tipping the neck of it in his direction and encouraging him to do the same. “Just a couple of scratches, and my finger is setting well.”
Deeks paled, his bottle tipping higher as he took half of it in one go. The small gasp for breath was muted by the swipe of his arm across his mouth, and the reprimanding glare he shot me hadn’t gone unnoticed.
“I hate wishing people dead when they’re already there,” he growled, polishing off his bottle. It was my turn to pale. As much as I was aware of the deaths that had to take place, I’d been conveniently avoiding any thoughts regarding them, or the blood of the man I’d killed that still felt as though it was on my hands most days.
Deeks released another breath as he took me in and shook his head.
“I’m sorry, kid. I didn’t mean to bring that up, but if anything worse had happened to you…”
“It didn’t.”
“But it could have.”
“Has anyone ever told you you’d have made a pretty amazing dad?” I asked. I was being serious, but I kept my tone light and paired it with a smile.
“Oh, Jesus, you must be high on pain pills,” he grumbled, lifting the beer bottle to study and avoid meeting my eyes. He was hiding his reaction and we both knew it, but there was no way I’d ever call him on it. It was another thing I stored away to ask Autumn later. “On that sick and twisted note, I’m going to grab another beer and let the girl talk to you seeing as she’s been sitting there bouncing around impatiently.”
I glanced over my shoulder and found Libby withher arms over her chest, pretending to be enamored in the conversation that was going on between two of the HW’s. There was no Tate in sight, which was becoming increasingly concerning seeing as I’d only seen him once since we’d made it back from the warehouse in one piece.
“Deeks,” I said, turning to find him already slipping away.
“Yeah?”
