“Nope,” I lied.
Once I navigated my way through the entire fucking phone, disregarding the maps, the big blue button with an F on it and some other shit, I found her. I’d specifically told Jedd not to store her under Ayda, for reasons that I didn’t want to think about for too long. The thought of anyone finding her and hurting her instantly made my blood boil. Instead, she was hidden away under Mol, and Jedd had only given me a small look of congratulations when I’d said it before he looked back down and typed it in. Whether she approved of the term or not, Ayda was my old lady. She always would be, no matter what messed up roads we happened to take along the way.
Pushing my fat as fuck thumb against each letter, it seemed to take me seven hours to type out one single sentence to her.
I’m looking for a Miss Ayda Jane Hanagan. Can you help me?
Who is this?
I’m afraid I can’t disclose that information until I know who it is I’m talking to.
Well, you’re shit out of luck. I can’t disclose any information until I know who I’M talking to!
I asked first.
What are you? Twelve?
Are you talking years or inches?
Do I know you?
What are you? A detective?
Maybe. Wanna play 20 Questions?
Is that something you usually play with strangers?
Not generally, but I’m curious as to who the fuck you are. First question… are you older than 20?
Curiosity is a very dangerous thing to have. Can get you killed… Or you could end up like George and wasn’t he the hairy fucker?
Older than 20. Now my go.
Is this the phone of Ayda Jane Hanagan?
Maybe… ;) Q2: Are you under 40?
Are you flirting with me?
NO! I’m actually kinda annoyed. Q3: What do you want?
Don’t be angry. It gives you wrinkles. I want a lot of things. Things I can’t discuss until I know if you are her or not.
Next question. Did you just stamp your foot?
No! I’m drinking coffee and I don‘t waste coffee over childish antics. Q4: If I was Ayda, and I’m not saying I am, would I know you?
Most definitely.
Okay. I’m Ayda. Who are you? I’ll even say please… PLEASE!
You’d be shit under interrogation.
Haha… butthead. Was I at question 5 or 6? Q6: Do you like me? And to clarify, I mean as in like and dislike, not like in the other respect.
Thanks for clearing that up. What would it matter if I liked you in the other respect? You got a man in your life already or something?
Well, you said you know me. You must have been lying. Everyone knows who my heart belongs to, which makes the other kind of like irrelevant. Now ANSWER… Are you a HW?
