“Then I’ll keep theCorolla. If I’m getting something new, it’s gonna be something I want.”
“Drew said you would be difficult,” Deeks said, heading toward the porch steps, his hands in his pockets. “Let’s just go do this. That way you might be able to add something to that shortlist of yours he’ll be willing to compromise over.”
“You got anyFerraris?” I asked, grinning at Kenny before hopping off the railing and jogging after him. “HowaboutLambos?Aston Martins?Batmobiles?”
“It’s gonna be a long day.” Deeks chuckled, pushing an elbow out for me to hook my arm through. I took it and slowed to his speed, the maze of cars suddenly looking more daunting than it had only ten minutes earlier.
“Where’s your sense of adventure, Deeks?”
He threw his head back and let out a good hearty laugh, forcing my smile to almost quadruple. If I was going to be made to do this with anyone, I was glad it was him. Deeks knew me. He was immune to my bitching and antics, and that meant I had a good conscience with me for the afternoon.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Drew
Icouldn’t concentrate confined inside the walls of the office. The echoes of all the arguments I’d had within the last twenty-four hours were rattling off all the corners of my brain, until all I was left with was a white noise sound and the repetition of scrubbing my hands up and down my face. In so many ways, life pre-prison had been easier. There’d been no conscience. There’d been no need to consider anyone else’s feelings. Once I’d been handed the chair, I was the man in charge. I’d been the boss, the decision maker. The merciless fucker who took what he wanted, when he wanted and always had a back up plan.
Now… Now I felt like Mary fucking Poppins, except my bag only had so many tricks inside it.
I both loved and loathed it, mainly because I had something else to love now besides the club, and I was aware that that, too, was making me a selfish bastard in a whole new set of ways.
I was getting close to brain overload, and as much as I loved spending time with Ayda in our room, I knew what I needed before Slater even suggested it to me.
I needed a ride out.
After Jedd, Harry and Deeks left us, he took one look atme and told me to call him when I was ready. It was only as the numbers on the books started to jump over one another again that I realized exactly what he’d meant.
Grabbing my helmet from the edge of my desk, I spun it around on the ball of my finger as I walked casually through the bar and out to the yard. Even though it was cold, the sun was shining for another day, and as my eyes flashed out to the sea of people walking across the gravel, there was only one person I was ever going to allow myself to focus in on. Her little ass was sashaying around the place like she owned it, which in a way, she absolutely fucking did. She owned me, so whatever I had was hers.
I was still trying to adjust to that.
Her excitement as she worked her way around the new wheels we had on court was adorable. Deeks was only two steps behind her wherever she went, his slow nod and genuine smile following her as her hands flailed around while she told him whatever story she had to tell. For reasons I’d probably never understand, the two of them loved one another without having to even say it. It made me feel relaxed. It made me feel happy knowing she was happy—and wasn’t that a fucking foreign feeling if ever there was one?
When her eyes caught mine, I nodded to the side, giving her the silent communication that I had some shit to sort as I lifted my helmet up to her with one hand, then held up two fingers with the other. Two hours at the most. I’d be two hours. Then I planned on cashing in on my time with her charm. Ayda’s lips curled into a smile as she bounced on her toes and continued to spin around as though she didn’t have time for me. Another thing I was growing to love about her—the way she pretended those two hours apart wouldn’t be the worst ofher day.
Slater pulled up beside me before I even fired up my bike, his feet landing on the ground as he adjusted the strap under his chin and shouted over the throaty roar of his engine.
“Ready?”
“I’m always ready.”
“You got some place specific in mind?”
Sniffing away the cold, I leaned over, gripping the handles and flexing my wrists as I stared at him and yelled back, “Actually, yeah, I do.”
“Strip joint?”
My smirk grew into a smile as I started up my bike and slapped the kickstand back. “Nope. Nice try, though.”
“What?” He laughed.
“You know what!” I shouted back, shaking my head and pulling out in front of him as I yelled over my shoulder. “Just trust me and take my lead.”
I didn’t miss the “’cause that’s worked out well for us before” that he threw back at me, but it only made me drop my head back between my shoulders and laugh. Fuck knows why I was even laughing at all. Nothing felt funny about that day. The tension in my stomach was growing with every passing second. There was an unsettled feeling emerging from deep within, something that was warning me that I was trying to juggle too many fiery balls of destruction all at once.
That was the problem with the new me, the one who had crawled his way out of prison with old scars on his back and new ideals in his mind. Nothing ever felt in sync. It was always a case of heart versus mind. Angels versus demons. Each day there was a new victor. I just never knew which one would come out on top from one moment to the next.
As soon as we pulled out onto the open road and I managed to let my body give in to the vibrations beneath me, I allowed myself to melt into the motion of the ride. When tire met asphalt, everything that seemed such a big deal suddenly took a back seat. All that was left were the sensations that ran through my body, the grip of the bars, the squeeze of my thighs, and the thunderous roar that started from the tips of my boots, shaking me all the way up to my helmet.
