“No leathers,” I added.
My teeth ground together, the muscles in my jaw flexing back and forth as I squinted down even more and flared my nostrils. What we’d just seen didn’t make sense, but then again, what did make sense these days? All I could do was listen to that sixth sense of mine that made the hairs on the back of my neck stand to attention.
“Vacation riders just passing through?”
I didn’t answer right away, instead turning around and taking a glance at Ayda who was resting her wounds with her head back. “Probably,” I lied to Slater, not telling him that I’d seen them before, as I tapped him on the shoulder and began to walk away. “Let’s get my girl and her brother home.”
Chapter Nineteen
Ayda
We didn’t speak much from the moment he pulled me from the car all the way back to The Hut. We barely said more than a full sentence to one another, but it wasn’t that stilted, uncomfortable silence I’d expected after the way I behaved when Tate was arrested. Whether he knew it or not, Drew’s protectiveness spoke more than he ever could have.
I had been replaying those shock-fueled moments when he first opened the door, over and over in my head, and I saw real fear there. He was worried about losing me, and no matter what had happened only hours earlier, my stupidity behind the wheel had made some clarity appear. I’d handled the situation with Drew badly, and I’d managed to handle Sutton far better than I ever intended to.
As he set me on the bed, more carefully than I probably deserved, I patted the space beside me, hoping he would take the invitation and join me.
He didn’t hesitate in climbing on board, slipping out of his cut before he dropped down in place beside me and crossed his legs at the ankle.
“You sure you don’t want me to get you anything? You’re still pretty pale, Ayda.”
“Just you,” I said quietly, moving closer to him. My eyes flickered down to my hands and back to him as I wondered whether I would be welcome on his lap. I didn’t think I’d ever needed contact with someone as much as I did in that moment. It was all guilt and love balled into one inexplicable and uncontainable emotion.
Ignoring the nagging of doubt in my head, I pushed to my knees and straddled his thighs, my hands cupping his neck and reveling in the warmth of his flesh against mine.
“I’m so sorry, Drew. There’s no excuse for what I said and did before I left here and if I could take it back, I would.”
Tilting his head to one side, he let out a small but weighty breath of air, a twitch to one side of his mouth eventually curling into a tired half smile. Dropping his hands to my thighs, he just stared into my eyes for what felt like forever.
“I thought I was the one who was meant to be apologizing? You didn’t do anything wrong. You did what you thought was best for Tate. At some point, I’m gonna have to realize that you’re not just mine and mine alone.”
I found my lips answering his subtle smile with one of my own. I don’t know why it was so hard to find a middle ground. I’d gone from zero to a hundred in the blink of an eye, and I was starting to realize I wasn’t the only one. As much passion as there was between us, there were times when that walked a fine line with anger. One step and you could find yourself on the wrong side. I’d stepped over, my confusion turning understanding into blame, and it had taken Sutton’s attitude to remind me of something.
“It wasn’t your fault, Drew. You didn’t do anything wrong, either. You stuck to your word and delivered. It occurred to me, while I was standing there yelling at Sutton,that it was a bullshit charge. He provoked Tate. Even if my kid brother was creating a diversion, I can’t see him swinging like that without a good reason. Sutton’s been on his case since he and Sloane broke up and we moved in here. It’s personal.”
“I couldn’t give a fuck about Sutton. He’ll get what’s coming to him when the time is right.” Drew paused. “But that’s twice now. Twice I’ve had to contemplate the thought of you being taken away from me. First the fire, then seeing your car disappear over the edge…”
“Wait!” I sat up and narrowed my eyes at him. It was more playful than angry. I should have known he’d follow me. No matter how many times I said no or how angry I was at him, he wasn’t going to let me put myself in harm’s way. Just because I was an idiot and drove off without thought, it didn’t mean I couldn’t tease him. “You followed me?”
“Noooo,” he lied, his lips forming into a perfect ‘O’ shape as his brows rose high.
“You’re so full of shit,” I said with a laugh, one hand dropping to his chest so I could push against it and get a good look at him. I stared at his mouth for a while before rising to meet his gaze. “But I’m glad you did. I hate fighting with you, Drew. I just wish…”
I let my head fall forward, staring at the zipper on his hoodie as I tried to find a way to word what was playing on my mind. We both had a propensity to react before thinking, and I had a terrible habit of speaking before thinking, too. The last thing I wanted was to say something the wrong way and start another fight before we’d truly recovered from the first.
“What do you wish?”
“I wish you wouldn’t shut me out. I know you’re trying to protect me from club business, that you’re trying to keepthe pack business and me separate, but I feel like I’m missing out on a part of who you are. I don’t want to know everything, but those kids… I know there’s something more there. Those bikes on the road tonight… I saw the look you and Slater exchanged.”
Lifting his hand to my cheek, he brushed my hair back as he spoke. “I’m not trying to keep anything separate. You’re too involved for me to do that. But, Ayda, I can’t tell you what I don’t know myself. Sometimes, I feel like… like you expect me to write you a list of what I learned that day. I can’t do that, not in this life. Things change from minute to minute. It’s unpredictable. As much as I’d love to share the burden sometimes, this is who I am. The club, my men—they’re my job as much as the diner’s yours. There’re gonna be days where I need time to figure stuff out. There’re gonna be days where I know I need to let you figure stuff out, too.”
“Okay.” I laid my hand flat on his chest and took another deep breath. “Can you explain what happened to Tate tonight? Why he felt the need to distract the police?”
“You sure you want to hear what I have to say about Tate? The truth?”
“He’s my brother, Drew. I need to know the truth about it. I know I’m overbearing at times, but I want what’s best for him in the long run. I can be objective. At least, I hope I can.”
I held his gaze, trying my best to reassure him as I offered a nod of encouragement. There was a chance I wasn’t going to like what I heard, but I had to be prepared. I had to think about the bigger picture.
