Picking up packets of sweetener, I went through the motions, shaking and ripping each one individually to give me time to think without looking at Drew.
I had to face the inevitability. I brought Tate into this life. I made the choice for the two of us, and he thrived on it. He wanted it, and no matter how much I said no or tried to scare him, he would continue to want it.
What Drew was offering was an opportunity. Not to scare him away from the pack life—I’d have been a hypocrite if I did. No, this was to give the kid a few more years of childhood, a chance to think about whether it’s what he wanted from life or not. A chance to see what being a part of the MC meant.
The only question was… how the hell was I going to make it through thismission?
“Walk me through this, and don’t leave out details. I need it all. How long would he need to do this? How much danger is involved? How are your boys going to be there for him when these kids realize what they’re doing? How do you plan on getting him out of there if he starts to like it?”
He didn’t blink as he answered, staying as calm as he always did when he was challenged by not just me, but anyone who ever questioned him. Unclasping his hands, he turned both palms upright and shrugged casually. “We’d put him out on the streets with a tail on him at all times. He’d need to be planted on a route where we knew these kids were hanging. Initially, we’d need him to pretend to be casing the town fordrugs or something, so he’d have a reason to approach them that wouldn’t make them suspect anything other than he was some pumped-up kid looking for some juice to make his veins sing. I’m thinking it will be a one-time thing, but that all depends what information he brings back to us. If those imitators tell him to fuck off and don’t communicate, if he doesn’t get a good enough look at them or find out a few details we need, then we might have to send him in again. Kenny is handy with wiring guys up, so we would be able to hear everything that was going down and set up some kind of code word—have him sneeze or cough or whatever Tate feels comfortable with—and once it’s done, we’d be in there in less than thirty seconds.” Drew’s eyes searched mine and I almost choked when I saw a small smile creeping on his face. “And if the whole thing doesn’t scare him and he starts to like it, I'll fire a shot from a distance and put a bullet through his ass, then tell him it was an Emp. That ought to scare him enough to go back to school.”
“Drew, this isn’t funny. I know that this life is enchanting to him as much as it is to you, and that’s always going to be his choice to make, but I need him to be a kid for a while, to finish high school and go to college if that’s what he wants. The moment he turns eighteen, it’s out of my hands, but for now, if you think this will help for even a few months, I will consider it. Just promise me he’ll be safe.”
Reaching out for his coffee, he pulled it in front of him, curling one hand around it before leaning back in his seat and draping his other arm across the back. His fingers drummed along the cup in a slow rhythm, but he never once took his eyes away from mine.
“On my life, he will be safe.”
Rubbing one eyebrow with the tips of my fingers, I looked up at him, our eyes meeting and holding. “Then you have my permission to ask Tate. I can’t make the decision for him.”
There was a moment's silence while Drew tried to hide the twinkle of victory flashing from his eyes. If I didn’t know him so well, I’d have missed it, but I was learning all of his faces the same way he was learning mine. His body leaned forward ever so slightly towards me. “Ayda?”
Dropping my elbows on the table and resting my chin on my clasped hands, I watched him carefully, reading the subtle movements in his jaw. “Yes?”
“Sometimes, to get the things we want from life, we have to go to the places we hate the most. I’m doing this for his future as well as for the club. Don’t doubt your trust in me.”
“I know. I believe that, and I do trust you, Drew, but now I have a favor to ask you.” I paused and dropped my hands again, tracing the fake wood grain on the surface of the table. “I want to talk to you about your whores.”
The gasp from above had my head snapping up. Sam looked completely uncomfortable as she held two plates in her shaking hands. I normally would have laughed it off, and maybe upon reflection I should have, but in that split second I just nodded at her, spurring her into action.
Placing the plates in front of us, she left as fast as she could without running.
Drew’s face lit up before he turned back to give me a questioning glance. “Mywhores?”
I started laughing, my hands covering my face as I groaned in defeat. “One in particular, actually. The one I found in Tate’s bed this morning.”
His lips pressed together as he tried to control his obviousamusement. “Go on.”
“It’s not funny,” I said, dragging my hands down and dropping them to the table. “She’s too old for him, and he needs to do the high school thing. He can’t take a HW to homecoming or prom.”
“Okay.” He swallowed slowly, lifting his coffee to his mouth, obviously to buy himself some time before he dropped it back down to the table and cleared his throat. “What exactly are you wanting me to do about it?”
“Tell them to…” I lowered my voice in an attempt to hide what I was about to say next. “Back off or at least make him work for it. He can’t go through life thinking he can get his dick sucked just because he asked for it. The real world isn’t like that.”
“It was for me,” he huffed out, laughing quietly before seeing the look I was giving him and straightening his face. “Sorry. I’ll speak to him. I mean them. I’ll speak to them.”
“Thank you.” I sat back in my chair and looked at my plate of food with a level of disgust. The hunger I’d had less than thirty minutes earlier had left due to the topic of conversation. Unfortunately, I knew my body, and it would only give me hell if I didn’t at least pick at it.
Swiping up my fork, I shoved the scrambled eggs around my plate for a while before dropping it and looking across the table at Drew again.It was for mewas echoing through the channels of my brain, making it impossible to concentrate. I suddenly wasn’t sure of anything. Was I denying Tate some rite of passage women didn’t know about?
“Am I wrong, Drew? Do I need to let him just make his own mistakes?”
He didn’t look at me when he answered, instead choosingto concentrate on the food in front of him, his appetite obviously as big as ever. “When it comes to your kid brother, go with your gut. It’s the only thing that will ever make the two of you happy. Over thinking is what will make you lose your appetite.” Shoving his fork full of whatever into his mouth, Drew looked up at me through hooded eyes as he began chewing slowly, and it was in his silent communication that I thought I heard his loudest message. I’d never doubted my choices with Tate before… Why should I now?
He was right, of course. I’d been left alone to learn from the things I’d done, and it was, in a way, a rite of passage for Tate. I just had to leave him to it like I always had with Sloane. He was going to do what he was going to do, and I’d rather be a part of it than be locked out.
That didn’t mean I couldn’t mess with Drew a little.
“Oh well, if he knocks her up, I guess we’ll be the ones saddled with the little thing…”
