“Bullshit, Drew. I won’t let you lose yourself to whatever this is,” I said, snapping out of the trance he'd held me in. Taking a breath and getting back to my task, I pushed his jeans and boxers down his legs, keeping my eyes on his. My hands worked diligently, letting gravity take over before lifting my hands and planting them on his ribs. My body leaned against his, my whole weight pushing him to step out of his jeans and toward the shower.
I knew I'd done the right thing the moment he stepped in and closed his eyes. He was shutting himself off from me and the world, the faint trace of color in his cheeks being enough to take the edge off. I should have left him alone, but I needed so badly to see him, to be able to coax him back out from whatever box he’d locked himself inside of so thoroughly in his own head. So I followed him in, my clothes immediately gaining ten pounds as they absorbed the shower’s spray and clung to my skin.
It hadn't been my intention to get in with him. I'd actually wanted to find a first aid kit. I'd wanted to take care of his raw, bloody knuckles, but I needed him as much as he seemed to need me.
As I stood watching him, water falling in rivulets from the tendrils of my hair, he pushed both of his hands up against the tile wall, dropping his head directly under the stream so it beat down on the crown of his hair. Drew Tucker was one of the strongest men I’d ever met in my life, and even as I stood there like a drowned rat beside him, I could see that strengthand power emanate from him, but he was tired. Tired and worn down, to the point that the lost boy he’d been was slowly beginning to recede into the territory of being unrecoverable.
Trembling and terrified, I sucked in a breath and swallowed the water I inhaled with it. My body, running solely on the fumes of sleepless nights and copious amounts of caffeine, swung under his arm, my back firmly planted against the wall so I was facing him. He knew the moment I was there. His eyes had opened in a series of slow blinks, realizing how close I was. He just stared at me for the longest time, as though I was the one that was standing there, broken and lost. Maybe I was. Maybe I was on the same path as him. All I knew was that I hoped it led to the same place, because it was the thought of losing Drew completely that had taken me to this juncture.
“Ayda—”
I didn’t let him finish. My hands were on his cheeks, pulling him closer as I pushed up to my toes, my lips pressing firmly against his before the last syllable of my name had played out. It was instinct that guided me into that kiss, but it was passion and desire that pushed me over the precipice. I needed a reaction from him. I needed to feel him and know that no matter what happened, he would at least know that what I felt was honest and real.
It was when he started to return my kiss that I knew there was no turning back. I could have been under his flesh and it wouldn’t have been enough. He was coming back to life again under my touch as we grappled at one another with an eagerness I wasn't sure I was capable of describing.
I felt the buttons of my favorite shirt go first. They hit the glass in little pattering sounds before disappearing down thedrain. The two sides were pulled apart with all the eagerness of a wild animal, the back of his hand brushing against my tight nipple as though testing my body's reaction to him. Goosebumps broke out across my chest, any thought of stopping thrown like caution to the wind. I already knew the answer.
I'd had no intention of ending anything and that was made all the more evident as my hands tangled with his to get rid of the last barriers between us. My bra went one direction, my jeans and panties another. His hand steadied me as I irrationally insisted my socks had to go, bringing the first ghost of a smile to his lips.
We were moving so fast, and as much as I wanted to explore his body, as much as I would have loved to memorize every inch of his well-built frame, I couldn’t tear my eyes from the indisputable hunger in his. They were filled with fire, life and everything I’d needed to see the moment I entered that room and found him empty.
Our breaths were raw, loud and reverberating from the tile, blending with my quiet sighs and moans of pleasure to drown out the sound of everything else.
The sudden realization we were both naked seemed to give Drew pause. His hand slid along the skin of my neck as the heel of his palm rested on my jaw. He didn’t need to ask me if I was sure; he already knew from the pleading in my eyes and the nervous rise and fall of my chest. He drank me in like a man in the desert, rocking back on his heels for a second to inspect every inch of skin exposed to him. I felt open and vulnerable, but beautiful, and coveted.
My little chirp of excitement at the tightness of my stomach pulled him closer before his other arm wrapped itselfaround my waist, hoisting me up onto his body. My back came against the tile with such force, my breath burst from me in a long stream. Needing more grip, my arm curled around his neck, and my thighs tightened around his waist in anticipation, holding me in place as we both seemed to gather our breath.
It felt like my heart had stopped beating in my chest with the way he looked at me. I didn’t think I knew what it was to be wanted until that moment. His eyes were the mossiest of greens and were filled with an emotion I’d never seen him wear before. I knew the only thing in the world he wanted was to be inside of me.
I’d barely managed to scrape in a breath when I felt the nudge of him against my clit, my inhaled gasp accompanying the rock of his hips as he pushed into me.
As much as I was ready for him, I couldn’t have ever prepared myself for the emotional onslaught that followed as our bodies finally came together. He froze the moment he sunk as far into me as he could, and the fingers of my free hand clawed at the tile, my other arm wrapped around his shoulders as I held onto him for dear life.
Every limb I possessed seemed to tremble with the raw power of him as he supported us both, his thighs and arms flexing beneath me. Drew's quiet grunt of appreciation had my body tighten around his as my stuttered breaths encouraged his hips to swing back, and I couldn’t help the moan tangled with a sigh as he slammed back into me with intent.
We found our rhythm quickly, our bodies moving in perfect synchronization as the water beat down on us. My cries of pleasure bounced from the tiles surrounding us, and my fingers tangled in his hair, while my feet pushed against his ass. I needed him closer, deeper, and harder. I needed all ofhim, everywhere, always.
My skin was so alive under his touches and kisses, and as our wants grew into needs, my body twisted and arched, accepting him so deep I felt like I would never forget the tangibility of it for the rest of my life. Even supporting my weight between his body and the wall, he'd managed to get his hand in my hair, fisting tightly to direct my face to his. The moment our eyes met, nothing else in the world existed but him. As cliché as it sounded, he was the only thing in my universe. He was all I could see, all I could feel. The scent of him surrounded me and held me close. Even the sound of my name on his lips held me enchanted.
My climax was almost painful as it clawed from the tensed ball of pleasure in the pit of my stomach and turned into fire spreading through my veins, curving my back and pulling his name from my lips.
He wasn’t far behind me. His hands were everywhere, the strength of his body with his final strokes encouraging my arms to fold around him and hold him close as the echoes of my orgasm mixed with his. When he came, our bodies seemed to melt together in the exquisite rapture of the moment, and for one blissful breath, I found my happiness in the midst of his chaos.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Drew
Even as the water trickled down my face, over my parted lips, and continued to fall into my mouth, all I could do was stare into her eyes in wonder. No part of me wanted to move. No part of me wanted to lose the absolute fucking perfection of what and who I held in my hands.
Whatever had just happened between the two of us was the single most amazing experience of my life to date. Just when I thought there wasn’t anything to help me fight off the black ghosts that had been circling above my head, she walked into the room like some kind of angel and saved me from falling to pieces on the floor and becoming something I swore I would never be.
A ghost myself.
Ayda’s eyes were staring into mine, and I could almost feel the hammering of her heart despite the water that continued to rain down over us. Maybe I was imagining it, or maybe I was taking a well educated guess, based on the fact that I was pretty sure mine was about to break through my chest and leap right out to embrace her. Our bodies were inhaling and exhaling in time. Her muscles were tight and mine were even tighter, and even though I was still throbbinginside her, totally lost in the warmth and perfection of our fit together, I couldn’t seem to pull myself away or even speak.
I’d heard people talk about those moments with women before—that connection when you’re inside a girl and they seem different to anyone you’ve ever been with previously, like they were made for you and you alone. The mental bond as your limbs, muscles and minds align and all you can think about is the absolute fucking rightness of it all as everything within you climbs and climbs and climbs to reach a new high that it’s never reached before. I’d heard about it, but no matter how many women I’d gone through, it had taken me all this time to experience it firsthand.
Her ass shifted in my grip, circling slowly one last time as if she wanted to try and milk this for all it was worth and go again. But her face never moved and her eyes never dropped away from mine. The water kept on pouring down around us, the heat of it washing over my own ass cheeks like it was comforting me and telling me it was okay to let her go.
