Setting it beside the bed, I crouched beside him and smiled sadly. “And I guess you can call me a glutton for punishment, because I choose to stay here with you right now, not for any other reason than I want to. But I also choose to keep my pants firmly on, mister.”
Standing up and heading to the bathroom, I filled up a plastic cup with water and grabbed a bottle of painkillers, knowing he was going to need it when he opened his eyes in the morning.
By the time I got back to the room, he'd flung his arm over his face, his narrowed eyes peering out from under it as they followed me around. Ignoring the intensity of his stare, I kicked my shoes off and made my way back to the bed.
It had been such a weird night. Drew had cornered me under the pretense of my being honest with him, only he'd been the one who’d opened up. I hadn't expected that from him, and once again he'd managed to surprise me.
“You're going to want to take these and drink as muchwater as you can. I don't think we have enough greasy food to counter the amount of whiskey you've consumed tonight.”
Climbing up on the top of the bed, I carefully lifted his head and set it on my lap. I opened the bottle of painkillers and handed him a few before switching the bottle out for the water. The position had only been temporary, but he lifted an arm and draped it over my thighs, holding me hostage. Feeling brave, I dropped my hand to his hair and brushed my fingers through it.
With every stroke I made, his body seemed to get heavier against me, until a slow, choked breath came unstuck from the back of his throat and he whispered, “Thank you.”
“Happy to help,” I whispered back, not even sure he heard me at all. His body sank against mine until I was pretty sure he was asleep.
My fingers never stopped moving in his hair, and it was only when his grip loosened on me that I settled for resting my palm there and listening to the party going on in a murmur beyond the walls of his room. I would have been worried about Tate, but I was certain that Deeks would look after him for me. At least, I hoped he would, otherwise there was no telling what trouble my kid brother could get himself into between now and sunrise.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Drew
It wasn’t the stomach roll, the pounding head, or the fact that my mouth felt like carpet that made my eyes scrunch tighter together when I turned onto my back. It wasn’t even the low groan of weariness that escaped my dry, welded together lips. It wasn’t even the fact that my hands were curled up into weak fists that ached to be stretched out,as the pins and needles ran all the way through them, leaving them as crippled and as useless as I felt. It wasn’t the pain in my chest or the fact that I needed to take a piss so bad, I thought my bladder was going to burst there and then.
It was the way the person next to me moved and stretched, so fucking selfishly that I had no choice but to wake up from my peaceful state. For the first time in months, I slept solidly and the moment I moved my tongue in a wave like motion up on the roof of my mouth, I had a pretty good idea that a lot of that had to do with the bucket full of alcohol I consumed after our little visit from The Emperors.
Lifting my balled up hands to my head, I pressed them to my temple and tried to regain some kind of control over the heavy metal rock band that was currently playing an encore behind my eyelids. It felt like the drummer was doing an epic solo on all parts of my brain, while I waited for him to stop.Only he didn’t stop and I couldn’t move. Not until I felt that person beside me shift around again, then heard their delicate little moan of sleep filled pleasure as they rolled onto their side, making the mattress bounce.
The frown on my face smoothed itself out. My desert-like mouth found enough strength to finally open up and allow me to take in some air, and my eyes flickered open as I tried to remember where the fuck I was and who the hell I was with.
It was only when they moved again that I got a whiff of whatever perfume it was she wore and I felt my stomach drop into my ass even more.
Ayda.
With my hands still pressed to my head, I glanced under my arm to see if what I thought was happening was actually happening. When I saw her there, I couldn’t move. Both of her hands were tucked under her cheek as her head rested on the edge of one of my pillows, and her lips were parted so delicately, she looked perfect in her slumber. Her body was scrunched up with her knees raised up to her chest, and even though I so badly wanted to jump off this bed, scramble to the other end of the room and back up against a wall, I knew I couldn’t for several different reasons.
The main one being that I had to get away without waking her up.
The other being that I couldn’t seem to tear my eyes away, no matter how much I tried to convince myself that I wanted to.
Fortunately for me, the demands of my bladder left me with very little choice. It was either get out quick or I would need nursing for other reasons, which wouldn’t do Drew Tucker’s reputation any good whatsoever. Sucking in a giantbreath, I held it in and ignored the groans of my body as I began to roll off the bed as slowly as I could. There was feeling rough and then there was this. This felt as close to me being on my way out of this world as you could get without taking a bullet to the head.
When my feet landed on the floor, I didn’t pause or wait around to make use of my legs. As my toes skimmed across the carpet, my shoulders fell forward and my chin was determined as shit to glue itself to my chest. It seemed that thing was suddenly as afraid of heights as I was. Gravity was winning.
I didn’t glance back at Ayda before I slipped into the bathroom. I couldn’t. I had too many questions and only one person who could answer them. If I was to keep on looking at her laid out on my bed that way, I knew it wouldn’t be long before I was waking her and forcing her to look me in the eye and confess what shit I’d told her the night before.
Every move I made was as quiet as possible. The faucets were turned on just enough that I could cup my hands beneath them and splash my face. I brushed my teeth, even though it felt like I was pressing razor blades against my gums. I even managed to throw my clothes to the floor and wash from the sink water alone, before heading through to my office and pulling out some clean jeans and a T-shirt I kept in one of the drawers. I was dressed head to toe in black and somehow it seemed to fit. I felt like going into mourning.
I needed painkillers and I needed them fast, but no matter how many cupboards or drawers I looked through in there, I couldn’t find a single pill. Not one. That’s when the hazy memory of her bringing some to my bedside hit me again and I knew I’d be forced to go back in there if I stood any chanceof diluting this agony behind my eyes.
“Fuck,” I cursed under my breath, bringing both hands to rest on my hips, looking back at the bathroom door, then over to the one that led to the corridor and eventually, the bar.
Pain meds or hair of the dog? Just the thought of putting more of that crap into my body had my stomach turning again and my eyes bleeding with imaginary pain, which left only one option open to me.
Rolling my eyes up to the ceiling, I started to make my way back through to the bedroom. I was creeping around like I was some kind of cat burglar.
Before I pushed the door open, my hand stayed there holding on to the handle as though it was asking me if this was really what I wanted to do. Every part of me knew that if I went in there and she woke up, she’d be greeted with a side of me that neither one of us liked.
When I eventually walked through, her sleeping body was still curled up on her side. My chest expanded as I took a deep breath before I started to make my way across to the side she lay on. There was a small chant going off in my head.Don’t look at her, don’t look at her, pretend she doesn’t even exist…but as my hand reached for the bottle of pills, everything was drowned out by the sound of her sleepy voice calling to me.
