Drew
Considering the amount of whiskey I drank the night before, even I was surprised by the good mood I'd woken up in. But as with everything when Ayda was around, nothing ever stayed the same for long.
When Pete stared back at me from that picture behind the bar, I knew I had to get out of there. It was either that or stick around and risk exploding on her tiny little ass. And that just wasn't an option, given I'd made a deal with myself to try and make it through the day without getting lost inside my own head. It was already way too early for me to be pacing, yet there I was, and there was only one person to blame for that yet again.
Her.
It always seemed to be her. Maybe that was because in the few days since my release, she was the only non-MC related person I'd allowed myself to talk with, and the truth was, anyone outside of this club just didn't have a clue how I worked or the shit I'd been through. I wasn't about to let her piss me off before the sun had even had a chance to warm the concrete. Not today. I just wanted to be able to breathe without seeing ghosts and regret splashed across every wall.
That left me with only one option for the remainder of theday while she was around.
I had to get out.
Snatching the keys from my office, I threw a hoodie over my white T-shirt before gliding past the cut hung up on the back of the door as though I hadn’t even seen it. I wasn’t denying who I was. I wasn’t about to walk away from the one thing I had left in this world that meant anything to me, but for now, I needed to ride alone. And riding alone with my club patch strewn across my back could only lead to one of two things: cops or enemies. Today, I just wanted to be free.
My feet pounded back through the bar area, and I didn’t take a second to glance around and see who was still in there. My eyes were fully focused on the door as I started to move closer towards it.
“Where you going?” Slater shouted in his low, deep voice from somewhere behind me.
“Out,” I answered flatly.
“Alone?”
“Looks that way.”
“You want company? Harry said you shouldn’t be left alo—”
“Fuck Harry. I don’t answer to him.”
“But—”
“I don’t answer to you, either, Slater.”
“Okay, man. I was just asking.”
“Keep the girl busy,” I called back out over my shoulder, stepping out through the doorway and into the bright sunshine of the morning. The warmth of it wrapped itself around my face and instantly made my shoulders relax. If I hadn’t wanted to get away so quickly, I know I’d have remained standing there for a while longer. But the sound of Jedd’s voice callingout for me at the far end of the bar had me bouncing away quickly and walking like fuck over to my Harley.
Grabbing my helmet from the back, I swung my leg over my seat and began to fasten the strap under my chin. Pulling my shades out from the pocket in my hoodie, I slid them on and literally tuned the whole fucking world out, unlocking the deadlock before backing my neglected baby out of its parking bay with my feet.
Before I had time to start her up, I saw Jedd’s tall frame move to stand in the doorway as he watched me. I didn’t mean to do it, but as he started to take a step forward, then another and then another, I threw my head back with laughter and started her up. As soon as I felt the vibrations beneath me and heard the roar of my bike come to life, filling the air with the most beautiful sound on Earth, the tension in my spine started to roll off of me even more. If I could do this and keep a good lifestyle around me, riding was the only thing I would do from the moment I opened my eyes until the moment my head fell against the pillow again at night. I was born to be a biker. I was born into this world and it was in me.
No one was going to stop me from doing what was in my blood and in my heart.
Curling both hands around the handles, I let my head fall down and flashed Jedd a sarcastic smile before I raised my arm and gave him the middle finger I knew he didn’t really deserve.
Then I rode away.
I rode for hours on end, not knowing where the hell I was going or caring who thought it was a bad idea. On the open road, the ghosts couldn’t keep up. On the open road, I always moved faster than they did. Every thought in my mind driftedaway to nothing until all that I was left with was a clear head and the world off my shoulders. It didn’t matter that it was a temporary reprieve. It didn’t matter that I knew it would have to end at some point and that those demons would eventually come swarming around me, pushing down on my body until I was cowering in a corner and gripping the sides of my skull in anger and panic.
None of it mattered because the only thing that existed in those moments, when the wind was blowing my clothes into me and the sunlight was burning against the stubble on my jaw and the bridge of my nose, was me.
I was allowed to be free out here.
I was allowed to be the Drew Tucker that nobody else knew about.
And if I was honest, that was the Drew Tucker I didn’t really know myself.
I could only hope that the more I escaped and allowed myself to do this, the sooner the two of us would meet again and get to know one another better than we already did.
