“I get it, Pete. I’m ready. Do or die time.”
The memory of that time together was so strong, I felt like he was standing in the room next to me at that very moment. There wasn’t much that could make my feet move, and there wasn’t much that could tear my eyes away from the picture that was burning so many thoughts and so many emotions right into the very depths of my dark, pitiful soul. My face creased together as my teeth sunk into my bottom lip and I shoved my hands into the pockets of my sweats. Every breath I took inwards seemed to have razor blades attached to it, with a small firework of regret going off in my lungs.
I’d killed him without intention.
My greed had gotten the better of me and I’d been too lost in the need to be a leader to see anything other than moneyand power.
I thought I’d paid the price for that.
I thought I’d suffered enough.
But as I looked into Pete’s eyes, not daring to even blink, I knew now more than ever that the last few years had been as much of a lie to me as they had been to the system. It was only when I heard the voice of someone shouting from the bar, for the third or maybe fourth time, that I managed to finally force myself to blink away the layer of moisture that had coated my eyes, and roll my head towards the door. It took a while for the sounds to register fully in my mind. It took a whole while longer for me to understand that morning had turned to noon and noon had turned to dark while I’d done nothing but stare at that fucking wall like it held all the tits in the world for me to drool over.
“Your girl is here. Drew? Drew! Can you fucking hear me?” Kenny’s voice was traveling closer as he continued to call out to me. Even though my head was slowly catching up, my body was having a little trouble coming out of hibernation. “Dude. Bro. Where you at?”
The door to my room finally pushed open before Kenny’s head poked through and he looked up at me expectantly.
Lifting my chin from my bare chest, I closed my eyes slowly, only to open them at an even more morbid pace before I just stared at him. I had nothing to say. My face was flat and my hands were frozen in the pockets of my pants. I was immobile, or at least I was until he spoke again.
“Blondie. She’s here.”
Pushing my tongue to the roof of my mouth, I gave him a small nod before I cleared my throat as quietly as I could. “Got it.”
“You okay?”
“Champion.”
“Tyson time?” he asked, letting the door fall to rest against his shoulder as he stood up straight and studied me.
“Ayda time,” I responded flatly. I didn’t give him a chance to question me further. I could see that knowing look in his eyes that told me he was worried and that he wanted to press me on this. My bare feet started to move towards him, eventually sliding past his leather cut-clad body before I padded out into the main bar area. I knew me being out there without my usual gear on would be frowned upon, but with the ghost of Pete still lingering in my mind, there wasn’t too many shits to be given about it. My shoulders swayed as my feet slid across the floor and I made my way to the main window. The horizontal blinds had been opened just enough for me to stand at an angle, lean forward and take a good look through them without anyone on the outside noticing me.
When I saw Ayda standing out there, her eyes looking up at the sign of my club like a deer caught in the headlights, I’ll admit to another small wave of guilt washing over me. But as Pete’s words of leadership floated through my mind, I felt myself tilting my chin to the side, never taking my eyes away from her as I spoke.
“Kenny?”
“Yes, boss?”
“Two things.”
“Hit me.”
“First, I want the slot machines moved across to the back wall so they block off my bedroom door. I’m sick of you fuckers just striding in from the bar and interrupting me already. From now on, anyone wants me, they get me in myoffice.” My office connected to my bathroom, which led to my bedroom. I would still be accessible, just not as easily reachable. Something about that, after years on the inside, made me feel better.
“Okay,” he answered, clearly confused.
“Once that’s done, you put Ayda to work. I’m not ready to see her yet. Whatever you do, don’t give her light duties. She’s in debt to the club. But anyone hurts her or abuses their position, they’ll have me to answer to. Make that promise known to everyone in this building. No excuses.”
Then I tore my gaze away from her and made my way behind the bar.
I didn’t care what the time was.
I needed whiskey.
Chapter Fifteen
Ayda
Rocking back in my chucks, I pushed my hands into the back pockets of my jeans and looked the place over with an objective eye. From the outside, it wasn’t as intimidating as I’d expected. It looked like a building, mostly nondescript, other than the field of cars locked behind fences and razor wire.
