Ayda stood looking lost for a moment, her eyes dropping to her hands as though she was unable to find the words she needed in order to deal with the situation. “Fifteen coffees coming right up. I really am sorry.”
“I don’t do apologies, Ayda. Your family seems to wantto make a name for themselves by pissing me off. I'm sure you'll find a way to make that right.” My fingers curled into an even tighter ball as I cleared my throat and leaned even farther down to whisper. “Or I could go find your brother and make him deal with both your mistakes for you?”
“No. This is on me. If there’s a debt to be paid, I’ll pay it. My brother has to be left out of this. Please. I can’t lose him.” She didn’t give me a chance to respond. As distraught as she seemed to be, she turned, almost completely composed, before gliding through the tables and disappearing through the swinging doors.
“I think she knows who you are now,” Kenny groaned from the opposite side of the table, stretching his legs and arms out like I’d just had him curled up inside my magic hat or some other torturous shit.
I wanted to find it irritating, but I was riding off the high of seeing that flash of horror that washed across Ayda’s face. This was the stuff in my blood—that need to always be the one in the room who could turn people drip white with nothing more than a look. I’d spent too many years building up my reputation and gaining respect for it to have all just disappeared when I got back out. I might not have been sure of my place or what I stood for, but I knew one thing for certain:
I’d always be the Drew Tucker that people feared. I’d make damn sure of it.
“I think she does,” I huffed out through a laugh, leaning back in my seat with my hands resting on the edge of the table. “She’s going to know me a whole lot more soon, too.”
“You’ve scared the girl now. Leave it alone,” Harry mumbled beside me.
“How about you shut the fuck up, Rogers?” I snapped, myhead rolling round to face him. “One minute you’re telling me that I’m too soft. The next you’re telling me I need to back off. Maybe you’re the one that’s confused as fuck. Stop putting that shit on me.”
Harry’s eyes turned to stare into mine with a new sadness that I’d not seen him wear before. Of all the things that could have made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up, that look was it. “We don’t do this kind of crap in public, Drew. You know that more than anyone. That was your rule. Remember that?” he said quietly, before he slid out from his seat and started to turn on the heel of his boots in the general direction of the door.
“Where you going?” I asked roughly. I had no idea what the fuck was happening, but his mood swings were even worse than mine.
“I’m going outside for a smoke and some air. I don’t feel so hungry anymore.”
I watched him as his short, stubby little body wobbled out of the diner. My tongue ran across the front of my teeth as I tried to work out what to say in front of the others.
“Ain’t no accounting for a hormonal man.” I eventually sighed, turning back around to face the guys with a huge grin on my face. “And let’s hope Little Miss 32C hurries back on those fine, shaky little legs of hers because I am fucking starving.”
Chapter Eleven
Ayda
Iwas bent at the waist, practically hyperventilating into a paper sack when Janette found me, only moments later. From the look in her eyes, she’d seen my marvelous self-control in the face of my enemy. I hated myself for being so impulsive and, most of all, defensive. It was stupid, and I was putting, not just myself, but Tate in danger.
“Please. Just… don’t,” I said, putting my hand up in shame. “I fucked up. Like royally. He’s gonna kill me in my sleep. Jesus, Jan, what the hell was I thinking?”
“I wasn’t going to say a thing, darlin’. You look like you beat yourself up enough for the two of us,” she said with a small smile. “Look, Ayda, you ain’t doing yourself any favors out there, so how about I let Sam—”
“No!” I looked up and grabbed one of her hands, squeezing desperately through the trembling. “Men like that loathe weakness. If I chicken out, it’s only going to make matters worse. Just let me get those coffees out there and I’ll try and get through this with my mouth shut for once.”
“You’re shaking like a leaf, Ayda. Do you think that won’t be the first thing he notices when you go back out there?” Janette shook her head and looked at the tray with a dozen mugs all waiting for me to go. I’d attempted to work throughthe sudden panic attack, but had to stop. “You’re a proud girl, I understand that, but there’s nothing wrong with accepting help from the people who love you. We can get you through this.”
“Oh, I’m going to fix it alright. I’m going to kill Tate myself. Right this problem at the root.”
The huff of air from the kitchen, accompanied by the mumbling about more balls than brains, had me looking at Janette and shaking my head. Rusty obviously knew and had been listening to everything I’d said.
“No, you’re not going to kill that boy, Ayda. Don’t talk like that. It was a mistake. What he did was stupid, granted, but it was from a good place.”
“It really was, A.”
I turned, almost violently, to find Tate at the back door of the restaurant, looking like a puppy in trouble, his tail thoroughly between his legs. I was my mother’s daughter, and that look he gave me struck me square in the chest. A dozen knives would have been less effective. Straightening out, I gave him a look, tipping my head to the side as I opened my arms, breathing out in relief as my little brother scooped me up into an embrace.
Tate looked so much like an adult it was easy to forget how young he was most of the time. He’d barely lived. All of the responsibility from our parents’ deaths had fallen on my shoulders. I hadn’t wanted him to be forced into growing up to the point where he’d resent his childhood. So I’d sheltered him. Not as much as I should have, but as much as I could. In his defense, he was normally quite mature for his age. This shit he’d pulled was because he’d been drunk and worried, and it was a volatile combination. It was out of character, and no matter how upset I was, I knew that.
“I’m so sorry.”
I probably looked ridiculous trying to comfort someone that was quite a bit larger than I was, but I couldn’t let him go. When he was emotional like this, all I could see was that twelve-year-old boy that stood next to me at the funeral of our parents, gripping my hand as tears streamed down his cheeks. It was at that point that the overwhelming relief that he was safe seemed to just take over everything else. As long as it stayed that way, I could live with anything Drew Tucker decided to do to me.
“It’s okay, kid, but how about you lay off the liquor until you’re capable of making rational decisions while fucked up, eh?”
