Wordlessly, I hand her the water. She takes it, but her fingers tremble as she grips the glass.
“I think it’s easier to believe the things you need,” she says quietly, her voice raw.
“Instead of the things you want. And I need Richard.”
The words are a dagger to my chest, sharp and unrelenting.
She lets out a heavy breath, shaking her head. “I keep trying to make sense of it all. Trying to find a plot hole in this nightmare, something that makes me believe you more than him. But when Ilook back, when I think about all the years, all the memories—all I see is how much he loved you. Loved me. How can that be a lie?”
I stare down at my hands, my nails chipped, my fingers twisting together.
“When I looked at our family photos, when I thought back on everything he gave us, all I ever felt was gratitude. We had everything. A beautiful home. Stability. A man who provided for us, who cared for us…” She shakes her head again, as if trying to force the thoughts away.
I never wanted those things. I just wanted my mom back.
She sets the glass down on the coffee table, then turns toward me, taking my hands in hers. Her touch is warm but fragile, like she’s holding onto me just to stay upright.
“I just want you to know,” she whispers, her voice breaking. “I believe you. And none of this—” Her eyes squeeze shut, and when she opens them again, they’re glistening. “None of this is your fault, sweetie.”
Tears spill down her cheeks. I’ve never seen my mother so broken.
A lump rises in my throat, thick and unbearable. And then, I do the only thing I can think of to pull her back from the edge.
I lie.Pretend.
“Mom, stop,” I say, forcing a small laugh. “You’re making me feel bad.”
She sniffles, wiping at her face. “No, I should feel bad. Not you.”
I inhale sharply and push forward, even as it makes me sick to do so. “I made it up,” I say, forcing the words out before I lose my nerve. “I just said all that to see if you would believe me.”
She blinks at me, stunned. “ I-I’m sorry, what?”
I shrug, trying to make it look casual, even as my heart pounds in my chest. “Nick’s mom believed me. Nick believed me. Even people I barely know believed me. I just wanted to see if you would too.”
Her face goes blank. “No. No, you wouldn’t—” She takes ashaky step back. “I know you wouldn’t lie about something like that.”
I swallow the bile rising in my throat. “Richard says I don’t know the difference between a lie and the truth anymore, so… maybe I don’t.”
“Melanie,” she breathes, her eyes searching mine like she’s seeing a stranger.
“You guys took college away from me. You took my credit cards, my independence. I figured, what do I have left to lose? I just wanted to get back at you. I took it too far, and I’m sorry.”
She covers her mouth, and I can see the devastation in her eyes. She believes me.
She actually believes the lie.
“You can be mad,” I say, my voice hollow. “Tell Richard I’m sorry. I’m sure he’s mad.”
She shakes her head. “He’s not even upset. He wants to help. He’s willing to put you back in college, or read, to do whatever you need.”
Of course, he is.
Slowly, she turns toward the door. “I’m going to need some time to process this.”
She doesn’t say goodbye. She just walks down the porch steps, gets into her car, and drives away. And the moment she’s gone, I shatter into a million pieces.
47
