Julian's eyes drop to the floor and he assumes a somber expression. "So if you must punish anyone, Don Castellani, punish me."
I steal a glance at Darian and find him looking back at me. There's hope in his eyes, and I feel it, too. Somehow, we might get out of this.
I feel like the damn cat with nine lives.
But—why the hell is Julian only revealing these recordings now? Maybe he didn't want Sandro to know, but why didn't he give them tomewhen he told me he wanted me to investigate? Maybe there's nothing else on them—but maybe there is. Maybe I could have foundsomething.
"Everyone out except Julian," Sandro orders ominously. As I pass Julian, he gives me a reassuring wink before I close the door behind me.
My mind is turning over all the implications of what just happened, but it's Darian who consumes my thoughts. We walk together, following Jack and Leo as they mutter to each other, and we all make our way back to the foyer.
I take Darian's arm and draw him a little apart from Jack and Leo, who are still talking softly—about Clemenza's murder, I bet. And when Darian turns his face to me, his eyes are filled with a mix of vulnerability and determination. He steps closer to me, our bodies almost touching.
"Raffi," he whispers, his voice raw with emotion. "I had to. I couldn't stand it anymore."
"But why in the hell—" I break off, seeing Jack give me a curious look.
"Thanks for holding out on Clemenza, Darian," Leo says, but he seems happier than he should be, given that Julian is currently in there with Sandro, getting shouted at—at best.
But when I listen, I can't hear any shouting coming from the study. Not even muted shouting.
"Let's get moving," Jack says to Leo, as though he understands I need to be alone with Darian.
I pull Darian upstairs and into the security room. "Out," I say, and the guards in there take one look at my face and bolt.
I kiss Darian. Hard.
And then I hug him tight and snap, "What the ever-lovingfuckwas that?"
CHAPTER 39
DARIAN
As soon asRaffi lets go of me I sink down onto a chair, and he looks alarmed.
"Are you alright?"
I just nod.
"Why thefuckdid you tell the Boss about your argument with Clemenza?" He sounds more perplexed than angry. "After everything I did for you, you—" He cuts himself off, looks away.
Looks away as though he can't bear to look atme.
I struggle to find the words, my mouth dry. How can I possibly explain to Raffi that I only wanted to protect him? To show him that I meant what I said, that I wanted to be honest about everything?
That those few words he said before we went to sleep struck deep into my heart and just wouldn't let me go?
I chose you over the Family. I've been around the Castellanis for long enough to understand what a terrible choice that must have been. What a sacrifice he made for me.
And I just threw it back in his face.
"I wanted to make it up to you," I try. "I wanted to make you feel like you made the right choice. That your—your honor was restored."
He gives a laugh that sounds more like a sigh. "You took away any chance I had to regain my honor myself. Don't you see that?"
I flinch at the accusation. "But Raffi, nothing you do could be dishonorable, becauseeverythingyou do comes from the heart. It's what I admire most about you."
His eyebrows fly up. For a long moment, he says nothing. Then, quietly, "Thank you for saying that. But it was a bad move, D. If Julian hadn't bailed you out?—"
