I blink up into Raffi's concerned gaze, momentarily stunned speechless. Of all the people to run into, why did it have to be him?
Raffi's hands tighten on my arms, his dark eyes scanning my face. "You alright, D?"
The nickname makes me flinch, and he seems to regret it, too. We haven't been on nickname basis for weeks. "I'm fine, Mr. DeLuca. My apologies."
His hands drop away with a frown and I fold mine around the envelope, hoping to hide it.
"You want me to take that out to the mailbox for you?" Raffi asks after an awkward moment.
I wish he wasn't soobservant. And I wish I wasn't so quick to flush. "No. It's—it's nothing." I sidestep him, eager to escape the familiar scent of him.
But his eyes are narrowing as he's already read the name on the envelope, and he steps with me, blocking my escape route. "What's going on? You're all squirrelly."
I did promise him I would be truthful from now on. And I don't think breaking up with him absolves me of that promise. "It's a letter of resignation."
Silence. Then, "What?"
"I…I can't do this anymore, Raffi. After what happened between us…" I trail off. "My leaving is the best thing for everyone involved," I croak at last.
"You can't just leave," Raffi says at last. His hand closes over my wrist in a gentle grip, almost a caress. "Don't do this. Please."
I stare at his hand, at the stark contrast of his tanned skin against my own. His touch burns like a brand.
"Let go of me," I whisper.
He hesitates. "You know you can't just walk away, right? You can't just leave the Fam—uh. Redwood Manor."
"I've made my decision, Mr. DeLuca."
He releases my wrist, but he doesn't get out of my way. "You know I…I'll never tell anyone," he says quietly. "Your secret's safe with me. You don't need to resign ifthat'swhat you're worried about."
I don't trust myself to speak. I know he's telling the truth, don't even have to question it. Raffi always does the honorable thing, and he'd never rat me out.
But that doesn't change anything. "I'm resigning," I say stubbornly. "I've made my decision."
Raffi sighs, leaning against the wall. "Listen, Leo and Julian need a guy heading up security at their place. Pedretti offered the job to me, with the Boss's blessing, so…I'm getting transferred down there."
Surprise flickers through me, followed by a pang of loss I have no right to feel. "Congratulations," I say after a moment. "I'm sure you'll do well in your new position."
"Yeah, well." He shrugs, not meeting my eyes. "Figured you'd want to know, since I won't be around the Manor as much."
"Thank you for letting me know." I shift my grip on the envelope, eager to escape this conversation. "But it won't matter one way or the other, since I won't be here, either. If you'll excuse me, I should deliver this to Mr. Castellani."
"D,wait." Raffi steps into my path again, his expression unreadable. "You don't need to do this because of me. But if you're doing it because you want out…then you be careful, okay?"
"I can take care of myself."
"Call me if you need anything. Promise me."
"Raffi…" I hesitate, unsure of what to say. But then I pull myself together. "Thank you, Mr. DeLuca. I appreciate your concern."
Something in his eyes dies. He gives a short nod. "See you."
And he walks on past without another word. I close my eyes, willing my traitorous heart to stop pounding.
Raffi might be leaving Redwood Manor proper, but he'd still be on the grounds. And I can't stand it anymore, being here every day, knowing he's here, too, and knowing we will never be what we were.
What we might have been.
