CHAPTER 21
DARIAN
Beneath my cheek,I can feel Raffi's heartbeat, rapid and strong, and somehow it comforts me to think that maybe he's nervous, too. When he reaches over to turn out the light, I blow out a little puff in relief.
Things are easier in the dark. I don't have to hold on so tight. I can be bolder.
More daring.
Tentatively, I let my hand drift a little. I trace the hard muscles of Raffi's chest and arms. His skin is warm, the hairs soft under my palms. I've fantasized about this moment for months but now that it's here, I'm terrified.
What if he doesn't want me like I want him?
And worse, what if hedoes, but I do something wrong? Say something stupid? He'll realize I'm just pretending to be more experienced than I am.
"Your hands are shaking," Raffi murmurs in a voice like velvet.
My breath hitches in my throat. I want him so badly, but I can't seem to ask for what I want. "I just…"
"Can I kiss you?"
I lick my lips, mouth dry. "Yes, please."
The bed shifts and his breath ghosts over my face. My heart beats so hard I'm afraid he must be able to hear it. Then his lips brush mine, a tease of sensation, and I whimper. He kisses me again, deeper this time, and desire unfurls through my whole body, aching and throbbing andneeding. I cling to him, lost in the feel and taste of his mouth on mine.
He breaks the kiss to nip at my jaw while his fingers work open the buttons of my pajama top. "You're sweet for me, aren't you?"
I squirm under his attentions, torn between temptation and mortification. "Raffi, please…"
"Please what, sweets?" He drags his lips down my neck and I arch into him with a moan. But my inhibitions hold me back, make me hesitate, even while inside I'm screaming for him to take whatever he wants from me.
For him tomakeme give in to him completely.
"Tell me what you want, D."
I'm still afraid to say the words. He suckles at the skin over my collarbone and rational thought flees. "More," I gasp out.
Raffi hums in approval. "I can give you more."
He rolls over me, pressing me down in the bed so I'm pinned beneath his heavier frame, and I whimper at the feel of him, hard, against my hip. I'm desperate and aching, ready to beg and plead. He's awakened something dangerous in me, somethingsoft and submissive that I've always pushed away, something I've always hated about myself.
I want him—his hands, his mouth, his body—in a way that frightens and thrills me at the same time.
"Relax," Raffi murmurs against my lips, sensing my nervousness. "We don't have to do anything you're not comfortable with. Just let me know, okay?"
"Okay," I whisper, my voice unsteady. The burning need within me is becoming more difficult to ignore.
"That's why I need you to tell me what you want, D." His voice is teasingly soft as he trails a finger down my chest, circling my tight nipple. "I want to know I'm doing everything I can to make you feel good."
"Kiss me," I manage to say, desire making me brave. "Kiss me—everywhere."
The warmth of Raffi's lips on mine is everything I need. His tongue gently teases mine, stoking the fire building between us. The weight of his body on mine is arousing and comforting at the same time. An anchor.
"Is this okay?" Raffi asks, pulling back just slightly to gauge my reaction. There's care in his voice. Genuine care.
"Yes," I breathe. "But…"
"Hey," Raffi says gently. "Like I said, we won't do anything you don't want to do."
