Teddy watches me pacing. “He said…he said either your mother killed your father, or it was his lover, Lina Lamond, because of their breakup.”
“I already questioned the Lamond woman, and I already knew my mother was here—as did you.” It gives a certain satisfaction to see him deflate. “So this whole thing was a waste of time.”
He is crestfallen, slumping back on the pillows. “But Julian said—”
“Julian, Julian,” I snarl. “When will you see—” I break off, as the implications of what Teddy is claiming break through to me. “Wait. Julian said that my father hadbroken offhis relationship with Lina Lamond?”
“Yes.” Teddy sits up straighter, eyes going wide. “Or at least, that he was planning to. Maybe she killed him out of revenge.”
I scoff at that. “She’s the kind who uses her wiles, not weapons.”
But if this is true…
And if Gene Lombardo knew they had broken up…
I see I will need another meeting with Lombardo. And while he’s flapping his lips, he can explain to me what happened at my mother’s dinner party with the senior administration ofmyFamily.
Without meaning to, I’ve seated myself on the bed again. Teddy’s hand creeps into mine. “Iamsorry,” he whispers. “I won’t do it again.”
“Yes,” I tell him. “I believe you.”
He studies me, and I see when the realization hits him, because his smiles dies. “You…knew I would go down to Julian,” he says slowly.
“It’s much worse than that.” I look away. “Ihopedyou would.”
He pulls his hand from mine, tucking it under his arms as they cross. “Why?” He sounds so betrayed, I want to point out that he’s the one who betrayedmytrust.
But all I say is, “Because Julian is a useful source of information.”
“Then why not talk to him yourself?” Teddy is very upset, more than I expected.
I shake my head. How to explain the relationship between Julian and me? It’s a tangle of envy and hatred and reluctant similarities. There’s only one person in this world who knew what it was like to have Ciro Castellani for a father. And though I hate Julian—wasraisedto hate him, by both my father and my mother—I’ve always suspected I was the lucky one.
I was sent away, but at least I had a little air to breathe. Julian lived every day of his life in this house. No friends. No purpose beyond that which my father gave him.
And no love, not the kind that a child should have. My father loved him, but as one loves a favorite tool. A phone, for example, or a car.
Or a knife.
“Julian plays games,” I say to Teddy. “And I have too much to consider at the moment without worrying about his double meanings and taunts.”
He’s still hurt. Bewildered. “So you used me.”
“So I used you.”
He pulls the covers up to his chin and turns on his side, away from me. “I’d like to rest now.”
Irritation flares. I want to throw the covers off him, shake him, remind him that he is alive only because I wish it—that heshouldbe dead twice over, and it’s only my mercy that allows him to breathe—but I don’t.
I can no longer afford these bursts of temper.
He looks over his shoulder at me. “Was last night…” He doesn’t finish the thought, and I don’t try to finish it for him either. He turns back and pulls the covers even higher.
I’d like to say that last night was part of my plan. That the sex was just a means to an end, a way to control Teddy, to gain his trust and his loyalty, to set him up with Julian, even.
The truth is…
So much more complicated.
