Lifewith Jackcould be better.
We undressed clumsily, kicking and cursing, and then I slid down the bed so I could suck on his nipples in a way that both comforted me and made him groan. Maybe I’d gotten stuck in the oral stage in my development, but I was desperate to havesomepart of him in my mouth. When he moved and his nipple escaped my mouth, I grabbed his hand to suck on his fingers instead, and when he swiveled around on the bed, I finally got the prize: the thick tip of his cock pushed between my lips. I wriggled into position, resting my cheek on his thigh as I felt his hot breath on my balls, his fingers wet with my own spit pressing against my asshole.
I’d sixty-nined before, but it had never felt like this. I’d never felt any intimacy in the act before. Normally it just made me horny—and God, so did this—but each squirm of my tongue around Jack’s shaft was echoed by his mouth on my cock, an infinite loop of sexy feedback that made me tremble.
His fingertip massaged my hole as I took his dick further into my mouth, and when Jack gave a rumbling moan around my flesh, it reverberated right through me. My balls ached, pulling up high, and Jack’s finger slid in a little more. I arched against him as my nerve-endings fired, and when I began the inevitable slide into orgasm, he pulled me close against his body, warm and protective, and let me come into his mouth in desperate throbs.
He tried to pull away when I was done, but I grabbed at his ass to keep him in my mouth. His thighs closed gently around my head, a reassuring blanket of flesh and muscle as I suckled at his cock like a pacifier. When I slid my tongue around his ridge, he gave a soft sigh; his fingers found my face and traced around my lips to feel where I fed on his dick. He came in long, syrupy waves that washed over my tongue, a salty-sweet flood that was fast becoming my favorite comfort food.
Afterward, we lay tangled up in each other, still caressing each other, still pressed up skin-on-skin, as though we couldn’t get enough of each other. He swung his leg around eventually and pulled my head onto his shoulder, where I gave a contented yawn.
The sexhadhelped.
“Annie told me to go back into the closet,” I said into the quiet.
Jack’s fingers, which had been tracing a lazy path over my spine, stilled for a second, and then continued.
“That’s why we stopped talking,” I went on. “We had this huge fight one day out at Malibu. I was moaning about how my acting career had died—but I was just kidding around. I didn’t evencare, you know? But Annie rolled her eyes and told me that if I wanted work so bad, to get back in the closet.” I paused, swallowing.
“What happened next?” he asked softly, and the rest of it came rushing out.
“I kind of laughed, and she did too, and then she got serious and told me I should think about it. She said everyone alwayssaysthey’re supportive of actors who come out, but the truth is, the work dries up. And she wasrightabout that, which was why it killed me so much to hear her saying it. I wasn’tout-out at the time. There were rumors, and I never hid who I was dating—it was just that I was so low-profile by then that no one really knew because no one really cared.”
Tell me you’re not serious, I’d said to her.
She’d shrugged.Maybe the truth hurts, but it’s still the truth.
“And then I told her that when she was ready to apologize for being such a jerk, she knew where to reach me,” I finished up. “But she never apologized. AndInever reached out toher. I can’t help thinking now that I overreacted. But Ihatelying about who I am. My father forces me in public to live a life that’s a lie, to pretend our family is…” I took a deep breath. “I’mnotgoing to pretend I’m straight. I just wish I could have made it up with Annie before…”
Jack squeezed me closer, his lips against my temple. “You’ve got nothing to blame yourself for.”
“Icouldhave tried to talk it over with her again. But I was too—” I shut my eyes tight, forcing down the grief again, and said thickly, “Tell me something about yourself. Something you’ve never told anyone.”
There was a long pause, and then Jack said, “I’m only staying with the Castellani Family because I owe Sandro the chance to kill me after his father’s gone. I don’t care about getting promoted anymore. I don’t care aboutloyaltyanymore. But I did something to Sandro that was unforgivable, and I figure he deserves a chance to make it square.”
I let it sit between us for a moment, and then I asked, “What did you do?”
CHAPTER34
JACK
I’d beenSandro’s right-hand man for about a year before The Incident. He had bodyguards with him at all times, too, but I never gave any of them a second thought. Sandro knew I’d have his back wherever we went, and I knew he’d have mine.
The bodyguards? They were wallpaper. Nice to look at, but mostly there for show.
That’s what I thought, anyway.
We were at Chateau de la Lune for a meeting with the Bernardis, trying to sort out a territorial dispute between a few low-level crews, but I didn’t like it from the start. The Bernardis were late, and their terms for the meeting were that only three of us could come in. So that meant Sandro, me, and one of his bodyguards—Renny Caruso.
I assumed Sandro picked the guy who was the best at his job, and I assumed the way the other bodyguards muttered and side-eyed and snickered about it was just jealousy. Sandro was like sunshine; everyone liked to stand close by and bask in the heat, catch some of that reflected glow. He was clever and he was imposing and he was going to rule the Family one day. Even his fiery temper could be entertaining, as long asyouweren’t the target of his rage.
The other guards stayed in the lobby and the three of us were taken to a suite to wait for the Bernardi delegation. Renny said he was going to check around outside, see what options we had. We all knew the meeting might go south, so it seemed like a good idea to identify escape strategies.
But a few minutes later, Renny wasn’t back, and I didn’t like how quiet it was.
“I’m gonna check on your boy,” I told Sandro. I’ll always remember the half-startled look he gave when I said that, the way he tensed up. “Your protection,” I clarified. “Not much use if he’s not here to protect you.”
“Ah,” he said, relaxing again. “Alright.”
