How long could I do this? I wondered, while JJ’s tongue traced over my lips.
How long could I use sex to distract me, use Jack to avoid dealing with my grief? It wasn’t fair to him. It wasn’t fair tome, either, getting my sadness and my happiness all mixed up together.
When Jack was kissing me, it felt like everything was filled up with light. But I knew that wasn’t true. I knew now that the world was a dark place, darker than I’d ever known.
Halfway through, I pulled back from Jack’s kiss and pleaded, “Don’t do that.”
“Do what?”
I’d been rubbing up against him, begging with my body, and he’d pushed me away, petting me softly, trying to calm me down. “Treat me like I’m fragile. That’s not what I want from you, JJ. I can’t…I can’t do gentle right now.”
His gaze ran over my face. “You want it rough? That what you’re telling me?”
“I want you to wreck me,” I said decisively.
“You asked me that once before.”
“Andyousaid that one day you would.”
He was quiet, watchful, making sure. Then: “Guess that day’s arrived. Turn over. Put a pillow under your hips and then spread your ass open for me.” I grinned, and he slapped my flank. “Move it!”
I flopped over and obeyed, tugging down the pillow and arranging it so that my ass was higher than my head. Jack had moved around behind me, and there was a moment of deep silence when I pulled my cheeks apart. I could almostfeelthe intensity of his gaze on me, and then I heard the click of a cap, a muted squelch, and cool lube spiraling over my pucker.
“Wider,” he said, spanking my ass again and making me jump. I tugged my cheeks as wide as they would go, my dick hard and aching where it was tucked away under my belly. The lube started to drip, and I felt its cool trail down my taint, to the top of my balls where it split like a river delta, and kept dribbling down either side.
Jack’s finger landed right on my hole like a bullseye, pushing another glob of the stuff into me, and then driving in to the knuckle, making me clench and curse.
“Take it, sweetheart. I’m not gonna be any more gentle with my dick.”
I opened my mouth wide on the sheets, sucking them into my mouth and biting down on cotton. Jack had two fingers plunging into me now, or at least itfeltthat way, my asshole sore and startled around them as he pushed in deep. “Fuck.”
“Go on, curse me out,” he said, sounding amused. “We both know you love it.”
It wastrue, was the thing; I’d enjoyed every time we’d had together, but this was something else, something stratospherically different. My hands slipped on my ass as a wave of relaxation came over me, and with his free hand, Jack slapped one of my cheeks. “Open up, little troublemaker. I want to see that hole while I’m wrecking it.”
My nuts tightened up at his words and, with a groan, I pulled my cheeks open again for him.
“It’s a pretty little hole,” he murmured. “Even prettier when I watch it taking my fingers like this. But—” His fingers withdrew, leaving my asshole twitching and grasping, and I gave a complaining grunt.
I heard him spit, felt a warm splat land on my hole, and he worked it into me. “Take it in, sweet thing. You’ll get my cock next.”
He was as good as his word. After another minute of finger-fucking, Jack straddled me, and I felt him spank the head of his cock against my hole. “Beg for it.”
I swallowed, spat out the wet cotton sheets. “Please…fuck me.”
“You call that begging?”
“Please, JJ, I need it…”
“What do you need? Beg for it, sweetheart, or you won’t get it. I’ll fuck your mouth instead and enjoy myself that way.”
God, my head was spinning with desire. That helium feeling was back, filling me up. “I need your cock,” I told him, trying to look back over my shoulder. “Wreck me. Make me scream.”
He hiked my hips up even higher, arranging me to his preference, and then I felt his cockhead pressing against my ring, inexorable, inevitable. I breathed out hard, trying to relax, to let my body adjust to the sensation, as all the hairs on my body stood up.
Was I in pain? Pleasure? It was neither, not yet, justpressure: pressure inside me, opening me up. My brain couldn’t process it, my nerves alight but still uncertain which way to fall on that pain/pleasure divide—
“Fuck.”
