His mouth sagged down and his eyes closed again. “What am I supposed to do now?” he muttered. “What am I…” When his eyes opened, I could see a flood of despair start to darken them.
I reached up and cupped his face. “First,” I said softly, “we set you up with a burner phone and you check to see if your parents have been in touch. After that, we’ll get some food into you. One step at a time. Deal?”
It took a second, but he nodded.
* * *
I fished an old prepaid burner of mine out of the back of a drawer and set up call and text forwarding from Miller’s old number. It would do for now. His father had finally been in touch, although his brief voice message was devoid of any feeling.Don’t speak to the police. Don’t speak to anyone. I’m taking the jet back.
That was it. NoHang on, son, I’m coming home. NoMake sure you’re with friends and I’ll be there as soon as I can.
Edgar Beaumont was even more of an asshole than I’d already assumed he’d be. Miller had listened to the message without reaction, then turned the phone off again. It was blowing up with messages and missed calls, but he didn’t seem inclined to talk to anyone.
Thinking of Edgar Beaumont reminded me of my own problems. I’d failedmyjob. I hadn’t been the one to find his daughter. I hadn’t been able to return her safely to him. How much was Ciro Castellani going to make me regret it?
But it was a fleeting thought. What the Boss did or did not intend to do to me was beside the point. My concern was Miller.
I broke my own rules and called a food delivery service for breakfast. By the time Miller got out of the bathroom it had arrived, and I was pleased to see he looked less pale when he sat down to eat.
We ate in silence for a while, and then Miller said: “Do you have to go to work today?”
Legs Liggari could go fuck himself—and frankly, the Boss could, too. Besides, I still technically had one day left on the Boss’s timeline “No. Today I’ll stay with you.”
He nodded and went back to his eggs, while I tried to figure out exactly when Miller Beaumont had become the most important thing in my life. Because as of right now, he was.
And I wasn’t sorry about it, either.
I wanted to ask about last night, if he regretted it, to tell him I didn’t, not anywhere close. But I didn’t want to push, and he had other things to worry about. Much more important things thanmyfeelings. “How long will it take your dad to get back here?” I asked while we tidied up the leftovers together.
Miller shrugged. “He’ll take one of the studio jets. He’ll have to go through New York first. Depends when he left. Maybe tonight. Maybe tomorrow.”
“I don’t want you going back to that house alone.”
“Okay.”
“So you’ll stay here until your dad is back.”
“Isaidokay, JJ,” he sighed, and then he bit his lip. “Listen, about last night…”
I steeled myself for it: the gut punch. The acknowledgment that it had been a mistake, an act born of desperation rather than affection.
But the hit never came.
“Thank you,” he said. “Thank you for understanding what I needed. What I…need. Because I’m not even sure how I feel about Annie right now, but…” He gave a helpless shrug. “I feel happy aboutyou, JJ. You make me feel happy, only I should be feelingawfulright now, and it’s getting all mixed up inside me.” His eyes shone with tears, but he smiled at me. “I’m a fucking mess, man.”
I pushed myself off the sink, where I’d been leaning back, ready to take rejection, and I gathered him into my arms. “That’s okay,” I murmured into his neck. “Be a mess. Fall apart if you want. I’ll be here for you.”
CHAPTER29
JACK
A voice messagefrom Edgar Beaumont later that afternoon told Miller that he’d been delayed in New York, and wouldn’t be back in LA until the following morning. “His daughter’s been murdered and he’s in fucking business meetings,” Miller said bitterly, turning over in my arms.
We’d gone back to bed—not to make love, but to sleep. Millerhadslept, while my mind turned over everything that had happened, trying to find a way to keep my promise to him while simultaneously keeping Legs and the Boss at bay.
“That’s my dad all over, JJ,” Miller sighed. “That’s him.”
“Hey, now, you don’t know he’s in meetings.”
