* * *
Miller glanced around my place although he didn’t seem to take it in. I tried to see it through his eyes and cringed. Everything crammed into one room; secondhand furniture from the nineties; a kitchen design from the eighties. I hurried to close the closet door, hoping he hadn’t caught sight of anything in there.
It wasn’t the clothes I cared about him seeing, but my collection of firearms. I favored handguns personally, but some hits called for long-range rifles, and I had my father’s old favorites in there as well. Sentimental, I guess you could call me.
“Can I get you some—uh, water?” I asked, after shoving the closet door shut. “Or coffee, if you take it black. No milk.” I still hadn’t picked up a fresh carton, and creamer was not something that ever found its way into my fridge.
He shook his head and sat at the card table that doubled as my dining and work table. Currently it had the remains of both breakfast and dinner on it; at least it wasn’t anything work-related, though, I told myself as I hurriedly cleared the dishes and dumped them in the sink. If Miller caught sight of something he shouldn’t, it would only complicate my life further.
“So,” I said, turning around to lean against that sink, “what brings you here?”
He was sitting with his hands in his pockets still, one leg twisted under the other, which was jiggling up and down. “It’s about my s-sister.” He stopped. Swallowed.
“I’ll get you that water,” I said, though he hadn’t asked for it. But it gave me an excuse to turn my back on him and give him a second to get his shit together. Once I’d filled two glasses with tepid tap water, I joined him at the table in the only other chair I had. This one was plastic and sat a little low compared to the table, but it was better than looming over him.
He took the glass and turned it around a few times, scraping it against the tabletop. He was still staring at it when he finally talked. “I want to talk to you about…about Annie’s disappearance.”
I let a beat pass. “But you told me yesterday—”
“I’m starting to think I was wrong,” he said firmly, and finally he looked me in the eye. “Her absence is starting to get some coverage in the media. I think if she just wanted to build a buzz, she’s built it. But she hasn’t come back, triumphant, to bask in all the love. So—where the hell is she?”
He was scared, I could see that. I got up and turned back to the sink, pretending to wash out my glass of untouched water. It wasn’t that I couldn’t handle his fear. It was just that if it got any worse, I wouldn’t be able to keep my arms from going around him to comfort him.
“My Dad still wants you to look into it, right?” His voice was hard. “You’re still under orders from this mysteriousbossof yours?”
Well, he had me there. I turned, shrugged, lied. “I was thinking I’d call it off tomorrow, let the Boss know there was nothing to—”
“Don’t,” he begged. “Please. Keep looking. Thereissomething wrong.” He bit his lip. “You asked me yesterday if those texts sound like Annie. Well, theydidn’t. She would never have told me about her publicity plans. And she sure as shit wouldn’t send that weird emoji like we were—like we werefriends. So now I can’t help wondering if someone else wrote them, or someonemadeher write them, and she was trying to send me a message, and I missed it.” His eyes were suspiciously shiny in the dim light, and as I looked at him, he sniffled and blinked a few times, trying to keep hold of himself.
He was an actor. Or at least, he hadbeenan actor. But, I decided, not even the best actor could mimic the worry and confusion coming off him right then.
There was something about Miller Beaumont that made me feel like my insides were made up of cotton balls. Made me feelvulnerable. I wanted to protect him, but it would mean sacrificing my hard shell to do it, and I couldn’t give that up.
I had to stay strong and cold in my line of work. I had to stay strong and cold if I wanted to keepbreathing.
But Miller seemed to undermine all those truths I knew to be self-evident, the creed by which I lived my life.
He was trouble, alright.
I opened my mouth to tell him again that he needed to leave, but what came out was pretty different. “I lied. I never was going to stop looking into it.”
For the first time, I saw genuine hope in his eyes. “Seriously?”
“Seriously. I got told to do a job, and I’ll do it. I’ll find your sister.” Dead or alive, I thought, but it didn’t seem the right time to say it.
“Oh, man.Thank you.” He clasped his hands under his chin, squeezing them tight. “Thank you. So where do we start?”
I blinked. “We?”
“I’m helping from now on.” I opened my mouth to refuse, and he added, “She’smysister, and even if we have a shitty relationship, I still know her. I know how she thinks, where she might go. And if she’s in danger, it’s my responsibility to help. I want the chance to…” He sniffed. “To fix things between us.”
He had no idea what kind of world he was trying to step into.
He plowed on. “It’s like you said the other night—some things you do out of loyalty rather than love. I owe my own sister enough loyalty to at leastlookfor her, don’t I?”
“Miller,” I said, mostly because I wanted to remember how his name tasted on my lips, “I can’t work with you. I’m doing this job alone.”
“I have money. I’ll pay you extra. Double whatever my dad paid out.” His jaw tightened again and his knee, which had stilled, started bouncing once more.
