With a smile, I crawl onto the bed, and Luca pulls me into his lap, cupping his hands around my ass. I wind my arms around his neck and lean in to kiss him.
“But,” he continues, when our lips have parted, “if nothing else, these last few years have shown me that I am not infallible. Nor are my men.”
“You want me to have a woman as a bodyguard? Sofia’s pretty good, they say.”
“Both Fontana and Vitali tell me she’s very effective. But no. She’s not ready yet. And in any case…” He cups my face in his hands. “We have all the lines of defense for you that we possiblycanhave in place, except one. The last one.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, when everything else fails, I want you to be capable of defending yourself.”
That stings. “Iamcapable.”
He’s quiet for a while, and for once I can’t quite tell what he’s thinking. “I don’t know that you are,” he says at last. “That’s what scares me the most, baby bird.”
“I don’t understand what—”
“I don’t mean talking your way out of trouble. Or drugging everyone and walking away,” he adds acerbically, and I chuckle. “I’m talking about taking a life to save your own. Maggie was a different proposition altogether,” he says, before I can say it. Damn him. “You killed her to saveme. But I need you to feel the same passion for saving yourself as well. Do you understand me now, baby bird?”
I do. I’m not sure I like it, but I do.
“We’ll talk more about this later,” he continues, when I stay quiet. “But I also want you to understand that it’s not just your safety that I worry about. It’s your soul, too. I don’t want to pollute your soul, angel. I couldn’t stand the thought.”
I look down. “I’m no angel, Luca,” I say in a low voice. “You call me that, but we both know I’m not—I’m not a good person, not really.”
“Good. Bad. Those terms are meaningless. To me, you’re perfect.” He gives a shrug, a smile. He’s done with the conversation.
But I’m not done. “I made a vow to you. You seem to forget that. For richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, and like I said the other day—in darknessandin light.”
Luca frowns a little, hesitating before he speaks. Eventually, he replies, “You say these things without really understanding what they mean. I don’t believe you’ve considered how this darkness, as you call it, will affect everything else. The nightclub; your charity work; your life—there is nothing that will not be touched by it. And more than that,” he says, before I can get a word in, “I don’t want you to suffer for my sake. I know you don’t believe in Heaven or Hell or…anything, really. But…”
“Butyoudo.”
“I do.”
I stare into those cold blue eyes, deep into that soul he thinks is already lost, and I smile. “Honey, where you go, I go. What the fuck would I do in Heaven without you, anyway? It would suck donkey balls. I’d rather suck yours.”
Luca says nothing more. He lets his hands and his mouth do the talking for him, until he’s worn me out completely and I fall asleep held tight and safe in his arms.
* * *
I waketo find him already staring out a crack in the curtains again. Since we arrived in Rome, it’s been a whirlwind, and I feel like I have a hangover, even though I stuck to chinotto last night at dinner. “Come back to bed,” I murmur.
He does, but I can tell from his manner that there will be no enjoying ourselves this morning. “What time is it?”
“It’s early enough. But we need to prepare.”
I just grunt a reply and rearrange his arms around me. I can feel his cock thickening against the small of my back, and give a hopeful wriggle, but he just kisses the back of my shoulder and holds me tighter.
“We’ll have to leave Rome quickly,” he tells me. “As soon as we’ve met with Róisín, or as soon as we get hold of the rosary. I don’t want to give our shadow any time to catch up to us. Besides, La Contessa is in Venice. I’d like to deal with her as soon as I can, so we can focus on each other. Enjoy ourselves.”
I bite back my unhelpful whining. I did tell Luca I’d trust him, and even if I have my own doubts about whether we’re being followed, Iwilltrust him. Besides: “Venice is gorgeous,” I say. “Very romantic. If it goes well with La Contessa, we could stay there a while. But maybe we should go see Frank and Celia first.”
“Mm. It would give a little extra time for things to quieten down for us.” He sighs, shifts in the bed. “I just wish I could have seen the Colosseum while we were here.”
“I mean, it’s pretty boring inside.” Off his tutting, I shrug. “I didn’t want to dampen your enthusiasm, honey, so I didn’t say so yesterday. But the truth is, it’s just a big ruin.”
“That’s thepoint,” he says drily.
