“Murder has already been done here,” I reminded him.
“Not bymyhand.”
“Luca,” I told him, “let’s be clear about this. It’s not going to be murder. It’s going to bejustice.”
And so it was.
* * *
Later that night,Luca brings up the idea of moving again when we’re in bed together, holding each other close. “If you want to leave this place forever,” he murmurs, “we can do that. We can go back to the townhouse as soon as it’s renovated.”
How to explain it to him? Death has always been a part of my life, for as long as I can remember. And tonight feels like a culmination of all that. I became Death myself. I let it move in me, act through me. I feel as though blood has washed away blood. One death has neutralized another.
But I can’t come up with a way to say all that without sounding delusional.
“I think,” I say carefully at last, “that Tino would have wanted us to stay here. I think he always meant for us to have this place. Don’t you?”
I am safe and secure in Luca’s arms, his fingers combing through my pink hair as he thinks it over. “I believe you’re right, baby bird. I know you’re not religious, that you don’t believe in an afterlife, so I haven’t wanted to say it before, but…” He pulls me even closer. “What we did tonight feltright. It felt to me like it was done…the way itneededto be done. That we laid Tino Morelli’s spirit to rest.”
That’s the thing I love most about Luca: despite our differences, we do think the same underneath it all.
* * *
Life goes on.
The dining room is re-renovated, and not even a shadow of that night remains there for me. Kismet nightclub has been well-managed by Hudson Taylor, enough that I promote him to manager part-time, although I beg him to stay on as my part-time assistant as well, because I’m a disaster at organizing myself—and because I justlikethe damn kid. I like him a lot.
In Boston, Tara seems to be doing well, although she tells me Conor O’Hara has taken some time off, and has left Murph in charge of security while he’s gone. “He’ll be back,” she assured me. “He’s definitely coming back.”
I hope it’s true and not just wishes. Tara came to visit New York soon after Clemenza’s death, to do some work on the New York arm of our charity, All One Family. While she was here, I told her what happened on the night Lou Clemenza came to dinner, because there are very few people in this world who I can talk to about things like that. Aidan O’Leary, as much as I love him, is not one of those people. But Tara held my hand as I told her, and she had a righteous fire in her eyes as she told me that I had done the right thing.
I wondered what kind of things Tara has had to do as head of the Donovan Family. How many awful deeds she’s had to sanction, if only to prevent worse. And I remembered a time when I thought she wouldn’t be able to handle it. That she had no idea what it really meant to head up a Family.
I was wrong. She really is her mother’s daughter.
We spent some time talking about Mom, too. Sharing our memories. Things that Róisín has since told Tara. “Speaking of Róisín,” Tara said, “she’s left the Poor Clares.”
“Leftthem? Is she allowed?”
“Well, they’re not aprison, Howie. She’s free to leave if she wants to.”
In my mind I always saw them kind of like the Morellis, or the Donovans. Once you’re in the Poor Clares, you’rein.For life. “What’s she going to do if she’s not on her knees all day?” I asked. “Praying, I mean.” I smirked, but Tara just rolled her eyes.
“Well—I wondered,” she began, and bit her lip. “I wondered if she might be able to work for All One Family. If you and Aidan agree, of course.”
I tried not to look too shocked. “Róisín wants to work inmycharity?”
“Aidan’scharity,andmine, and yours,” Tara corrected me.
“Whatever. You’re serious? I don’t…I don’t know if Róisín would be down with it, but I’m fine with it, if Aidan is.”
Tara said, “She’s actually the one who suggested it. She hinted that it was somethingLucahad said that made her rethink her decisions?” Tara’s brow furrowed as I remembered that tense luncheon with Róisín next to Vatican City. Remembered Luca’s terse suggestion:If there are regrets you have, you should make up for them, not pretend they never happened in the first place.
“Weird,” was all I said to Tara.
“I might have it wrong; she wouldn’t elaborate. Anyway, she’s coming home to Hillview for Christmas, so maybe we can talk over the charity work while she’s there. I wondered if you and Luca might like to come out to Hillview for Christmas?”
I smiled at the offer. “That’s really nice, Tara. But—we were actually going to ask ifyouwanted to comehere. Ro could come too, of course.”
