And then we lie there, sticky and sweaty and stinking of sex, neither of us inclined to get up and towel down. He gets up at last, uses the bathroom, and comes back with a damp cloth to wipe me down. I’m so grateful I could cry, my limbs almost too heavy to move. When he’s done he crawls back into my arms, pulls them around him, and says, “Don’t let go of me.”
“Never,” I murmur.
I’m half-unconscious when I hear him talking again. “Whaddya know,” he says sleepily. “Itdoesget less scary the more you say it.”
Chapter Forty
Nick
Isleep in later than usual the next morning, and when I wake, it’s with the knowledge that something inside me has changed. Or maybe I’m functioningrightfor the first time in my life, maybe all the gears finally clicked into place and started turning the way they were supposed to from the start. I’ve never been a romantic, never really thought about what it meant to love someone so fully that I’d rather die myself than have them hurt.
And it breaks my heart a little to finally understand Luca so much better, when maybe it’s all too late.
I roll over to put my arm around Carlo, but he’s not there, and I sit up in bed immediately. I can hear noises in the kitchen, so I pull on my sweatpants and head downstairs. Carlo is already showered and dressed, making gallons of coffee. But I can’t even say hello when I see him, my voice drying up in my throat. What if everything that passed between us last night has disappeared for him in the cold light of day?
But the second he sees me, his face splits in a wide, delighted smile that leaves no room for misunderstanding. “I thought you were never going to get up,” he teases, crossing the room to put his arms around my neck and hug me. I hold him close, burying my nose in his freshly-washed hair, breathing him in. It’s the fact that he’s hugged me, rather than gone for the kiss, that tells me whatever it is we’re building here together, it’s for real. It’s lasting. And it’s going to remake my life.
If Luca D’Amato doesn’tendmy life, first.
“You okay?” Carlo says, curiously, and I let him go, let him pull back in my arms so I can look into his face.
“Never better.” It’s time for kissing now, I decide, and I lean in to taste him. The coffee-toothpaste mix isn’t delicious, but I don’t care at all. Carlo seems willing to forgive it, too. “I love you,” I say.
“Me, too.”
I make a face. “I think we probably need more practice.”
“Practice like last night?” Carlo asks, tracing a hopeful finger down my chest.
I grin. “Sure. But later tonight, huh? That place is supposed to be open for lunch today, so we might have a shot at tracking our guy then.”
“But what about this morning?”
“This morning? This morning, I want to go out to the lighthouse.”
“How come?”
I shrug, release him from my arms, and take his hand to lead him back towards the kitchen and the delicious smelling coffee. “I’m not gonna come all the way out here and skip the Montauk lighthouse.”
“Itdoesfeel kind of like a vacation, doesn’t it?” Carlo says almost wistfully. Automatically, he makes my coffee for me.
“Are you missing your electronic tethers?” I ask him.
“Hell, no. Although I would feel more at ease if I could take a look at my emails.” He sees the look on my face and chuckles. “Yeah, I’m not going sneak onto my laptop to check my emails. I might be a workaholic, Nicky, but I also enjoy being free. And, well, alive.”
“We should have this shit sorted out today. That means we can head back to the City tonight. You can check your emails once we’re back.”
Carlo hands me my coffee, and comes around the counter to ruffle my hair. I dodge away from him. “You look so grumpy at the idea of going back,” he says.
“I like it out here, is all.” He’s right, though, I do feel grumpy. I take a sip of my coffee. It’s exactly the way I like it: strong, black, just this side of bitter.
“I like it too. When things cool down, maybe we could come back here for arealvacation. A full week, nothing but beach walks, oysters and lighthouses.”
It sounds so good, I almost believe it could happen.
* * *
We spendthe morning on our private beach walk once more. The ocean tide is much further out this morning, and Carlo seems to take a great delight in discovering the clumps of marine plant washed up on the shore—specifically, picking them up and throwing them at me. He’s discovered my one weakness: I fucking hate seaweed.
