He sighed. “If you say so. Ms. Donovan’s staying put; I’ve got Fitzgerald on the O’Learys, and I’m with Aidan.”
I felt slightly better hearing that. Fitzgerald had seemed reasonable that day we picked up the O’Learys together, and at least they knew him. He was pretty high up in the Donovans, too. He ran a crew, so he’d be equal to a Capo, or whatever the Irish called them. “I’ll check in with your people when I get there, let you know if there’s been any weird shit overnight.” O’Hara had already placed a few surveillance pods around the church in accordance with my suggestions from the other day. And I’d also made contact with some Morelli associates to keep an eye out as well. “I’ll circle the perimeter while you all are in there.”
When I arrived, like I’d planned, I checked in with the existing stakeout crews. Nothing to report, or at least, that’s what they told me. O’Hara had assured me they were all safe, all loyal, but after all the bullshit the Morellis had been through these last few years, I wasn’t inclined to take his word for it.
But our own Family associates made the same claim, and when I circled the building myself, I saw nothing out of the ordinary. I even checked inside, but I disturbed only a team of florists, who were setting up for the ceremony, and once they’d left, I even checked the damn flowers. I ran the site for bombs and devices just like Angelo Messina had got me to do countless times back at Our Lady; that was how I’d started out, in fact, in my security training. Checking and securing Our Lady each Sunday before the Boss walked in.
I’d noticed Aidan even back then. He’d reminded me of old-fashioned scholars with his glasses and his serious eyes.
I paused in front of a shrine to Mary and crossed myself. Then, for the first time in a long time, I knelt down to pray to her. I had no words left. I didn’t make much sense, even just praying in my own head. But I did my best to ask that she grant her protection and her mercy over Aidan and his family that day, that she look kindly on his ordination, that she would intercede for him and bless him for the rest of his days in his vocation.
I couldn’t get the words right, but I hoped she would at least understand my garbled thoughts.
* * *
I wentaround the side as soon as people started arriving, stood in the bushes like some creeper instead of out in the open, and hoped no one would call the cops on me. I watched them all going into the church—the choirboys and altar boys, priests and attendants, the Archbishop himself, and then the stream of parishioners, all dressed up and excited like they were going to a concert. The troupe of white-robed hopeful almost-priests came together, except for Aidan. I’d told O’Hara to hold off, come as late as possible, even though I knew it would stress Aidan. I wanted his time out in the open minimized.
After the front had cleared I saw Aidan arrive. Recognized the car, and saw O’Hara go around to let him out. I watched the street, looked out beyond him to make sure there were no last-second attacks, my heart seizing and choking in my chest.
Let him go, I told myself.Let. Him. Go.
A breeze came whipping up the street, swirling through the heavy hem of his robe as he reached the steps, and then made its way to me where I hid. It felt like one last touch from him, and I even thought I could smell him, his familiar scent of church incense and soap. I tensed up, waiting for action, for any sound, for a car accelerating or for gunshots…
There was nothing. Only the sound of the Cathedral door closing and the swell of the choir inside as they began to sing. Once that door was shut I went around the front of the church and stood there like a sentinel. No fucker was going to get by me. No way, nohow.
I wandered down the steps, staring up and down the street. Across the road were two Donovan lookouts and a Morelli associate. Inside the church behind me was the man I loved.
He might as well have been a thousand miles away, he was so untouchable to me now.
I was trying to be glad for him. I really was. The choir died away and I guessed that they were getting down to business.
I had no idea how long I stood there. I blocked time from my mind and made my focus sharp and clear, the way Messina had taught me. I made a hand signal to the Donovans, and they signaled back: all clear.
The choir started up again behind the church doors, muted but beautiful. I guessed the ordination ceremony must be done. And then the choir got much louder as the door of the church creaked open.
All my senses went to full alert. I whirled around, my hand on my gun under my jacket. I was halfway pulling it out when I froze, the breath rushing out of me.
A dazzling angel appeared before me, a golden halo surrounding his head, and his eyes flashed as they found mine.
“Hi,” Aidan said in a small voice. “It’s just me.” His eyes dropped to my gun. I holstered it. “It’s just me,” he repeated. “I—”
“You can’t be out here!”
He smiled, a slow smile, happier than I think I’d ever seen him give before. “Sure I can. This is where I’msupposedto be, with you. I was in there, ready to go, and then I realized.”
I felt like I was being strangled. Strangled with hope and self-hatred at the same time. “Realized what?” I croaked out.
“All this time, I thought I had to make a choice between you and God. Turns out I don’t, though. Neat, huh?”
I stared at him, my hands by my side, my mind blank. “What…”
He came down the steps towards me, and only then did I see O’Hara standing there behind him in the doorway, watching the street, his eyes resolutely everywhere except on me and on Aidan.
I was grateful for that, since I couldn’t look anywherebutat Aidan. The sun was still hitting him from the side, lighting up his hair into that golden halo, glinting off his glasses and making his blue eyes shine. “Teo,” he said, and took my hands. He ran his thumbs over my knuckles. “I decided not to take my vows.”
It was exactly what I’d fantasized, but it was wrong, all wrong. “You can’t do that. Youhaveto take them. You—”
“I don’thaveto do anything. And I’m telling you, God doesn’t want me to take those vows.”
