She rose to follow him, though she turned at the door and nodded at me. “Thank you, Aidan.” Her eyes rested on Finch for a moment, and she started to say something, but stopped herself. She disappeared down the hallway, followed by Gio.
I stood and pulled my clothes straight. “And now,” I told Finch cheerfully, “you have my advice. So I’m going to bed.”
But I didn’tfeelcheerful, and it wasn’t just because of the events of the day. Tara’s attitude was understandable to me, perhaps more than it could be to most. Because the truth was, I had to consider all my options with Finch as well. I needed to do with him what Tara had already done—keep him at a distance.
How could I do that, though, when I could see how much it would hurt him?
How could I not, given that Father Raphael had asked it of me?
In just a few days I would vow eternal obedience to God and to my superiors. And Father Raphael would not condone me continuing this close friendship I had formed with Finch.
But what could I do?
Chapter Thirty-One
Aidan
“You should wait and check in with your sister once they’re done,” I told Finch as we walked down toward the elevator.
“I can’t give her any comfort until Teo ‘Messina trained me’Vitali comes up with a plan on how to help her,” he said bitterly, but then he gave a sigh. “He’s growing up, little Teo. Don’t you think?”
“He’s older than you are,” I pointed out. “And you’re just pissed because he told you to hush up.”
We walked down the hallway to the elevator together. “He sure did, didn’t he?” Finch said, and then grinned. “Not many who’d talk to me like that. Anddefinitelynot in front of Luca. Matteo’s got a pair on him, I’ll give him that.”
I tried hard not to think about the size of Teo’s balls as they’d pressed into my nose just a few hours ago at the motel, and failed. “He wasn’t wrong,” I said, getting into the elevator.
“No, but he didn’t have to be so bossy about it. But then, maybe youlikehim bossy.” Finch smirked at me, then leaned in to push the button for me. “Think I’ll wait to check on Tara like you suggest. You go on and make yourself pretty.”
The elevator closed before I could ask what the heck he meant by that.
When I reached the bedroom, I decided to shower. Running through the forest had left me sweaty and rumpled, and my mouth still tasted sour from vomiting. I headed without thinking to the bathroom off of Teo’s room, and only once I’d started running the shower did I think that maybe I should’ve gone down the hall. But by that time, the water was running hot and steamy, and I was naked, so I hopped in.
While I washed down I wondered again about what Finch had said about liking Teo bossy. Or more exactly, I wondered at my reaction to it. Because I’d definitely had a reaction, a pull in the gut that surprised me.
WasTeo bossy? I didn’t think so, not really. When he ordered me around, it was for my own safety.
Just because I appreciated it, though, didn’t mean hewasn’tbossy—it just meant that I…
That Ilikedit, as Finch had suggested.
The shower was very hot but the sudden flush through my body had nothing to do with water temperature. I turned the hot tap down a little and washed my face, then got on with the rest of me. When I got to my privates, I was unsurprised to find myself half-full. I thought about showering with Teo at the motel, the wanton display I’d given him, the way his eyes got heavy-lidded and unfocused, and I got harder.
I pushed the scene away, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that welled up in me. When I got out of the shower I changed into my pajamas, which had been laundered in my absence and laid on the bed in the other room. I paused, looked down at myself, and removed them again.
And then I went back through to Teo’s room and crawled into his bed, leaving the nightstand lamp on for him.
It felt right being there, even though I wasn’t sure which Teo would come back through the door. The kind and gentle Teo who’d been so considerate of me? Or the cool, in-control Teo who’d ordered me here and there, told me when to run and when to hide and when to duck down so I wouldn’t get hit by bullets.? Or would it be a new Teo altogether, now that he had demanded a place at the table with the most important Morelli Family members?
Maybe that new Teo wouldn’twantme in his bed anymore. Maybe I was more of a liability to him than anything else. He was downstairs, briefing the most powerful man in New York City and the most powerful woman in Boston, giving them plans and options on their strategic defenses.
He’d been so confident, so self-assured when he’d shut down Finch.
Another thrill shot through me, followed by a shiver of nerves. What waswrongwith me? A man lay dead in the street outside, and I wasn’t even concerned. I forced myself to remember the incident in the forest, when Teo had almost murdered a man right in front of me. Only it wouldn’t have beenmurder, I argued with myself. He’d been defending me. Was it any different from the time I’d stood in front of Finch, refusing to allow Sam Fuscone to shoot him without shooting me first?
“That was passive resistance,” I muttered, turning over in the bed. It was so late—or early, in fact—that I’d assumed I’d pass out as soon as my head hit the pillow, but the adrenaline of the whole night was keeping me awake. Not to mention the throbbing between my legs.
At long last, the door opened, and Teo appeared. I bolted upright, nervous, ready to get out of his bed if he ordered me out. He looked tired, exhausted even—but when he saw me, he smiled.
