Birgitta blushed until she was the same hue as her home-knitted, red sweater with snowflakes and suddenly got very busy putting almonds in her cup. Emelie suggested that they go and sit in the living room, and they all brought their plates full of Lucia buns, seaweed bread and cookies. Sussi and Stina sat on the sofa and made room for Andreas in the middle. Linn and Oskar grabbed farm chairs from the kitchen and Linn sat down where she could see the kitchen table. Christer and Santa Claus Stig sat down in different armchairs and Stig patted the chair next to him and invited Birgitta to sit there and practice being Santa’s assistant for the Christmas market. Linnea sat down on a rug on the floor and Liv sat in another armchair, putting her bandaged leg up on the footstool. Now Emelie was the only one making nervous circles around the room.
“Take a chair and sit down, Emelie, it’s time for Christmas gifts,” Santa said in a deep voice.
She found a small Emma armchair in the corner over by the fireplace. It was upholstered in a striped fabric in red and gold, but Emelie saw potential in the cute little chair. Maybe she could give it a facelift with a beige velvet fabric?
A couple of hours later, everyone had gotten their gifts, Liv and Linnea had disappeared up to their rooms and Linn and Oskar had taken some leftovers and a couple of bottles of mulled wine and walked over to his parents. Birgitta had excused herself and said she had to get back home and take over for the home service and Stig had offered to walk her home and carry the Santa suit. Christer joined them and walked back to his place. Now only Sussi, Stina and Andreas were left. They had replaced the cups and the mulled wine with wine glasses and a box of wine that was almost empty by now. Emelie was in the kitchen taking care of the dishes, feeling after a successful evening and a bit dizzy from the strong mulled wine and a couple of glasses of wine, and for the first time in several days she felt relaxed. She had gotten lost in Andreas’ eyes a couple of times during the evening, and every time they happened to brush against each other it was as if there was an electric current passing through her, and something told her that he felt the same way. She was putting the sugar kelp crispbread into the pantry when she heard Sussi’s cheerful voice become more serious and she moved closer to the door to hear what was being said whilst not being seen by the three people sitting in the living room.
“This might sound super odd, Andreas, but we don’t want you to think that this is something we’re saying just because we have had some wine, it’s something we have discussed for a long time and given much thought,” Sussi said.
Emelie was standing completely still, a couple of plates in her hands, and she leaned as closely to the doorway as she dared to.
“To get straight to the point, Sussi and I would love to have children. We feel ready now that we have settled down on the island and well…we are actually after your sperm,” Stina said.
Emelie almost dropped the dishes but successfully maneuvered them into a better grip. She could hear Stina start to speak again.
“You are nice, smart and handsome – a perfect donor. We understand that this must come as a bit of a surprise to you, and we would be thrilled if you wanted to think about it and not just say no right away.”
Emelie heard Andreas laughing a bit awkwardly and thanking them for the compliment before Sussi continued:
“But don’t about it for too long, because we both want to try and get pregnant, and it’s two weeks until we are ovulating,” she said.
Bloody hell, Emelie thought to herself, they had really figured this one out. Poor Andreas, how the hell was he going to handle a question like that? She slowly moved closer to the living room, not to miss out his answer.
“Girls, I actually don’t need any time to think about it. I would love to have children, and something tells me that the woman I want to be with doesn’t want any more of them. But I have one demand and it’s not up for discussion.”
“All right?” Sussi and Stina said, in chorus.
“I want to be a real father to the child – or the children. We live so close to each other that we don’t have to talk about every other week, not in the beginning, but maybe later, as they grow older. I want to be their dad and not some anonymous sperm donor. I want to take care of them and split the responsibility with you.”
It was completely quiet for a while before Stina spoke again.
“It wasn’t exactly what we had in mind…”
Andreas laughed.
“Then I guess it’s you and not me that has a couple of weeks to think about it.”
Emelie heard him get up from the sofa and just barely had time to get back to the sink and put the plates into the soapy water before she heard his steps behind her. Soon, she felt his arms around her and his warm breath in her hair.
“Hey, hostess, I think the last guests are leaving, and then it’s just you and me. If you’re not going to ask me to leave?”
Chapter 25
Emelie slowly opened her eyes and looked around. Where was she? She didn’t recognise the light-grey, striped wallpaper in the room. The sheets were green, and she didn’t recognise those either. She lifted her head but instantly put it back down, closing her eyes. She had a splitting headache, and it felt as if her eyes were about to pop out of her head as hard as her heart was beating. If she laid completely still it would probably pass, she thought to herself as she heard a noise behind her. She froze and that’s when she realised it: she was in Andreas’ cottage and the sound came from him, lying next to her. A light snore. She quickly reached down to check what she was wearing. Knickers and a t-shirt. She sighed with relief, then they probably hadn’t gone all the way. That was a good thing, since she had had way too much to drink last night. But, as she couldn’t remember, maybe they had had sex anyway? Slowly, so as not to wake Andreas up and not to make the terrible headache any worse than it already was, she turned towards the noise behind her. There he was. With his dark, dense lashes. Every time he took a breath one of his cheeks would flutter. It looked funny and she got an indescribable urge to reach out and stroke his cheek, but she managed not to. Instead, she tried to figure out what time it was. She slowly put her legs over the side of the bed and then sat there for about five minutes, just trying to get the headache to subside a bit. She was craving a painkiller and a couple of litres of flat Coke, that was the best cure for a hangover. When Sara and Emelie had partied hard, they would always prepare by putting painkillers and an opened bottle of Coke on the kitchen counter so that they were ready to inhale it as soon as they woke up in the morning. Sometimes even before they went to bed. She tip-toed into the kitchen and the clock on the wall showed almost nine a.m. Luckily, it was Sunday, and no one had to get up and get ready for school. She glanced over at her house where everything looked calm. She had to get home before Liv and Linnea woke up. At least the walk of shame wouldn’t be very long, she thought to herself, smiling. The risk of someone seeing her was minimal if Birgitta didn’t think to look outside exactly when she crossed the frost-bitten lawn over to her own house.
She pulled on her jeans and her cardigan and put her feet in her boots. Quiet as a mouse, she pushed down the door handle and tip-toed out into the dark November morning. Ten steps later she was back on her own porch and snuck inside the house. Everything was still, everyone was asleep. In the medicine cupboard in the bathroom, she found two painkillers that she swallowed with Coke from the fridge. It wasn’t flat, but it would have to do. Then she undressed and crawled into her own, cool sheets, but she couldn’t fall asleep. Instead, she laid awake, thinking about the night before.
When Andreas had come into the kitchen, she had managed to persuade Sussi and Stina to stay for another glass of wine that had become many more. They had connected Spotify to the speaker and Sussi had practiced some line dancing with them, constantly choosing trickier steps that made them tumble into each other and fall on the floor, laughing. They tried more of the mulled wine. And more wine. How she had ended up in Andreas’ bed was unclear, but she smiled to herself. Of course she wanted to sleep next to and be with Andreas. He was such a great guy. She put her head down into the pillow and smiled to herself. She had just dosed off to sleep when she heard a bounce-step-bounce-step on the stairs and then her daughter’s voice:
“Mum, are you awake?”
“Hmm,” Emelie answered.
She just wanted to sleep for another hour. Or half an hour. Did she really have to get up now?”
“Mum, come on! We are going to the stables,” Liv yelled.
“I don’t think I can drive,” Emelie shouted. “Not right now, you’ll have to wait a bit.”
