Chapter 1
The heavy wooden doors of Enskilda gymnasium upper secondary school were pushed open and 25 joyful, new graduates dressed in white came running out. They were cheering and waving their hats in the air, and Emelie craned her neck to try to locate her daughter. It was not very difficult, since she was the only one among them with black, curly hair and dark skin. She looked at Linn laughing and remembered her own graduation day back in a time when everything was possible and there wasn’t a problem in the world. Unlike today. She sighed and turned to smile at Sara, who was standing beside her.
“Does it make you feel sentimental, your eldest graduating?”, Sara asked.
Emelie smiled and nodded. It was a bit of a milestone, there was no denying it.
“Mum, mum, do you see Linn?”
On her other side, Linnea was jumping up and down, trying to catch a glimpse of her sister. It wasn’t easy to get a good look when you were only seven years old and Emelie picked her up and pointed at Linn, who was dancing and singing with her friends. Linnea waved and called out to her big sister.
“Liv, can you lift the sign up a bit higher so that Linn can spot us? Otherwise she might think that we’re ignoring her”, Emelie said to her middle child, and Liv held up the sign as high as she could.
A little later, the whole family and Linn’s godmother, Sara, were gathered in the center of the big square, embracing Linn and laughing. Linn was a bit tipsy from the champagne breakfast with her friends and now she was laughing and crying at the same time. Liv and Linnea looked at their sister with big eyes. She wore her hair down and like a halo around her face. The highlighter sparkled on her well-defined cheekbones, and her brown eyes were surrounded by long, black lashes. In their eyes she was the coolest person in the world. Emelie grabbed her eldest daughter, holding her tight.
“You’re a baker now, love, how does it feel? Have you been enjoying yourself?”
Linn nodded but had a hard time focusing on the people in front of her. Her eyes were scanning the crowd in search of her friends and the lorry that was going to take them all around Växjö, dancing and partying. Emelie and Sara exchanged smiles. They knew exactly what it was like. Standing around with her two little sisters, her mum and her mum’s best friend wasn’t exactly the most exciting thing right now. Sara gave her a hug.
“Aw, my darling goddaughter, congratulations, you have done so, so well. Have you gotten a job for the summer yet? Perhaps at that bakery that you were interested in?”
Linn gathered herself for a moment and focused on Sara.
“Yes, I have, but I’m going to be working for mum. It will be brilliant. But here come Olivia and Julia now, I’ve got to run. Love you all!”
She ran over to her best friends and the three of them embraced. The three girls skipped off with their arms around each other, just like when they were little kids. Emelie sighed and looked back at her younger kids.
“All right, anyone up for an ice cream?”
Back in the terrace house on Parkvägen everything was peaceful. Liv and Linnea had gone to visit friends. They were on summer holidays and could come and go as they pleased. In a few days’ time, they were going to begin attending after school activities for a couple of weeks before Emelie’s holidays started. Sara and Emelie were relaxing after the graduation spectacle in town.
“I can’t wait for the holidays to begin. This year has been a real pain at work. A lot of staff changes and then my boss who suddenly quit and before we got a new one…It was a real mess”, Emelie said, pouring a glass of white wine for herself and one for Sara. They were sitting in the garden. The flowerbeds were overgrown and Emelie felt guilty just looking at her neglected little lawn. Shewasgoing to deal with it. Any day now. She did dream of having a green lawn, but she just didn’t have the energy. Sara stretched a little.
“We decided yesterday that we are going to Italy later this summer” she said, smiling.
“Christ, I wish I could afford that. But as a single mum with three children there’s no room for any Italian holidays. We’ll have to make do with good old Sweden” Emelie said. And then added, “it’s not so bad either.”
She could hear how jaunty and unbelievable she sounded. Of course, she would rather have gone to Italy and enjoyed the sun, sea, pasta and good wines. Sara smiled at her.
“It will be brilliant. We were thinking about going back to Tuscany, we really enjoyed it last time around. By the way, have you heard anything from Ousman yet?”
Emelie shook her head. Three years ago, she had come home from work and found a letter from the children’s father on the kitchen table. In the letter he explained that he was leaving them. He didn’t want to pursue his life here anymore and had decided to go back to Gambia. She hadn’t heard from him since, and it had turned her whole world upside-down, to say the least. Taking care of three children by herself, dropping off and picking up at school, wiping snotty noses and caring for scuffed knees and a million other things was hard. And then she also had to try to answer their questions about their father and why he wasn’t around anymore. And she didn’t even have a good answer for that herself. It was exhausting.
“No, I don’t think he is ever coming back.”
“You don’t? But he must want to see his girls?”
Emelie took a sip of the dry, white wine and gave Sara a sceptical look.
“If he could take off three years ago and not have been in touch since, I reckon he’s just not that interested.”
Sara sighed.
“Men can be such pigs, no matter which continent they are from,” she said, stroking Emelie’s arm.
They sat in the garden for a while longer, staring at the overgrown garden and the brownish yellow lawn, and they concluded that life went on, the kids got bigger and that thingswereawfully complicated, but manageable.
“Is it a relief, not having to host the graduation party?” Sara asked.
