“Let me stop you right there, Courtney,” Coach said curtly. “Griffin got Griffin suspended from the soccer team, didn’t he? Did Allie cheat on a math test? No. So tell me again who got who suspended from the soccer team?”
“But Allie is the one who turned him in, Coach,” Courtney replied.
“So you’re telling me that if you had seen Griffin cheating, you would not have turned him in? Is that what you’re saying? You would have broken the honor code of this school? If you took that test and then wrote the pledge on your test, and witnessed cheating, isn’t that the same thing as violating the honor code? By allowing Griffin to cheat, you are giving him help, the same as the person who gave him the test to copy off of. Get it?” Everyone got quiet. “So let me ask you again, who here has something to say to Allie?” Coach asked. “I want you all to say exactly what you want to say to her right here, right now, in front of me, and then I never want to hear about it again. So go ahead, let’s hear it,” she said, looking right at Courtney, who looked like she wanted to say something, and then after a moment, she got the nerve and she did.
“Allie, I think you should have kept your mouth shut. Why couldn’t you have just minded your own business?” she asked. I didn’t reply for a moment, but I knew that question was coming.
“You want to know why? Do you know how hard I studied for that test? So hard. Math is impossible for me. I got the first A I’ve ever gotten in my life. Field hockey is the only thing I’m good at, Courtney. I’m not book smart like a lot of you. Academics don’t come easily to me. When I saw him cheating, it upset me so much because he was getting a free A. Why is that fair? I have to write the stupid honor pledge on every test that I take. Isn’t that supposed to mean something? We are threatened not to cheat, urged to turn cheaters in, and yet now that I’ve done it, I’m the one being punished, and all of you hate me for it. If I could go back, I would have kept my mouth shut, trust me, because I feel like I’m about to lose everything and everyone.” Then I went quiet and waited for someone else to speak, but nobody said a thing. Once Coach dismissed us from the circle, Isabelle immediately put an arm around me and told me she supported what I did. She really was my only friend.
Our team went on to have a practice that was tense, and it was evident that people felt differently about me. Everyone except Isabelle. After practice, she waited for me while I showered so that we could walk together to my Jeep. I think she understood that I needed a friend now more than ever. As we got closer to the parking lot, most of the cars were gone, and I scanned it until I landed on the big green truck. Chris had waited for me. I glanced at Isabelle and gave her a look of relief. Everything was going to be okay knowing that I had him by my side, too.
When I got to my Jeep, I heard the door to his truck open and then close as I put my bags in the back seat. Any moment now, he would come up behind me and wrap his arms around me, then spin me around and pin me up against my Jeep for a kiss. Neither of those things happened, so I turned around. He was simply standing there, hands on his hips, and an incredulous look on his face. I glanced at Isabelle, and she took the cue to give us space to talk alone. I waited for him to speak first.
“Why?” he simply said, staring a hole right through me. Then he held up a crumpled piece of paper.
I squinted at it, then reached out and took it from his hands. It had obviously been passed around based on the graphite that was now slightly smeared across the soft, torn paper. As I held it in my hands and read three simple words, I fought back tears.
IT WAS ALLIE
I read it over and over, and then I looked back up at him as my eyes filled with tears.
“Griffin found this in his locker first thing this morning. Why couldn’t you just leave things be?” he asked, unaffected by my emotions. “Griffin is my best friend, Allie, and thanks to you, we have a slim shot at the state championships after Christmas.” I knew it; they were all going to hold this against me.
“So I was just supposed to let him get away with it? Is that what you would have done? You, more than anyone, know how hard I studied for that test. It’s always the right thing to do the right thing,” I said harshly, surprised that he was taking Griffin’s side.
He looked down at the ground, and his hair fell into his eyes as he looked back up at me. My instincts kicked in, and I reached up to move it out of his eyes.
“Don’t,” he said, as he grabbed my wrist and pushed it back down to my side. I sucked in a breath in disbelief.
“I was right,” I said quietly, as I could feel myself start to shake. “You made a promise to me that you couldn’t keep.” Chris had asked me to trust him, and here he was, about to walk away from me, just like my Dad did. I had been thinking of saying three little words to him for the past few days and was glad that I hadn’t. As reality sank in, and tears fell down my face, I turned to reach for my door handle so that I could retreat to the safety of my Jeep. But before I opened the door, I heard him mutter three little words instead.
“I’ll see you,” he said, then he walked away, got in his truck, and drove off.
Isabelle came running as she saw me collapse to the pavement, just like that day when I had missed the goal. Without saying a single word, she wrapped her arms around me and held me there, as I completely fell apart.
28
Isabelle helped me into my Jeep, climbed into the passenger seat, and then turned on the radio to try to take my mind off what had just happened, but I immediately turned it off. I just wanted to sit in silence with my best friend by my side.
“Allie?” she asked, but I looked straight out the windshield and didn’t reply. “Do you want to talk about what happened?” But I just shook my head as the tears continued to roll down my face. “Okay,” she said, nodding her head.
“Thanks for sitting with me. I don’t know what I would do without you. I’d probably still be sitting on the pavement if you hadn’t been here with me,” I said, as I turned to her. She reached across the car and pulled me in for another hug and held me until I was ready to let go.
“Do you want to go get some ice cream?” she asked. “That always makes me feel better.”
“No, I just want to go home,” I said, so she got out and I headed home.
Once I got home, I went right to my room, dropped my stuff on the floor, and buried my face into my mountain of pillows. I was finally alone and could release all of the emotions that I had kept bottled up all day. Until now, I hadn’t been able to process everything that had happened. How had Griffin found out that it was me who turned him in? The Judicial Council was sworn to secrecy, and I knew they would not have risked jeopardizing my social integrity like this. Just then, my Mom knocked on my door.
“Come in,” I said quietly. She opened the door cautiously and came to sit on the bed beside me.
“Hi, sweetie. I heard what happened today. I can’t imagine what you are feeling.” It was the first time I could remember that she had offered me comfort like this, and it was foreign. “I want you to know how proud of you I am, first for getting an A on your math test—,“ ah, there it was. She cared about academics first, “— I know how hard you studied for that. And second, for turning in that cheater. He deserves whatever punishment he gets.”
“But what about the punishment I’m getting?” I asked. “You should have seen the way I was treated today, Mom. They behaved like I was the worst person on earth, when I was just doing what the school had always taught us to do. They have threatened us to turn in cheaters, and here I am, doing it, and now I’m the bad guy. It’s not fair. And to top it off, Chris broke up with me,” I said.
“You’re right. It’s not fair, and I wish there was something that I could do to make it better. Whoever it was that spread the rumor about you turning them in clearly is unhappy with their own life because that is just despicable. I’m sorry about Chris, maybe he will come around once he realizes that you did the right thing, or maybe he doesn’t deserve you,” she said. Her words meant a lot. “I’m headed downstairs to get dinner ready. If you need anything, you know where I am. I love you, sweetie.” And then she got up and left the room.
I rolled over on my back and pulled out the note again. The words were written in block letters, perhaps disguised to maintain anonymity. The only people who knew were the Judicial Council and my journal. Then suddenly, it clicked. Maybe it was Amy. On the one hand, she was the only one who had access to my journal, but on the other hand, she didn’t know where I hid it. Slowly, I raised up off my pillow and moved to the side of the bed to look between the mattress. As I reached my arm in, I was relieved to find that my journal was still there, safe and sound, exactly where I left it.
