“Yeah,” I said, unsure if that was the truth. We kept walking until we got to the airplane hangar. “It’s through here,” I said, pointing to a gap in the white painted split rail fence that you had to turn sideways to squeeze through. Once we both passed through the gap, I led him to a broken, frosted pane of glass along the wall of the hangar and motioned for him to peek in.
“Whoa, look at that!” he said, as he took in the sight of the dust-covered white, yellow, and blue Cessna plane. “Why is it just sitting in there?” he asked.
“I don’t know, it’s been in here forever.”
Just then, we saw headlights heading our way.
“We’d better go!” I said suddenly.
Chris grabbed my hand and led me towards the fence at a run. As we passed through the gate, I heard the door of the groundskeeper’s old Ford truck slam, and he came running after us, shouting.
“How many more years are you kids going to keep trespassing!” he shouted after us as we ran.
The lightning bugs flashed all around us as we laughed at the momentary rush of adrenaline. Once we had put some distance between us and the hangar, Chris turned to look back and then confirmed that the groundskeeper had given up on us and left in his truck.
“We can stop running,” he said. We were both out of breath, even though we were finely tuned athletes. As our feet slowed, I could see the contrast of the white pebble X in the grass just up ahead, and I stopped. “What is it?” he asked, as he looked at me, concerned.
Something about the significance of that X had a different meaning now than it did when I was a kid. When I was small, it just meant a signal in the grass to tell the pilot where to land. Now, it felt more like a forbidden barrier. It felt like a negative symbol on everything in my life.
X My sister won’t forgive me.
X My Mom isn’t proud of me.
X My Dad doesn’t love me and left.
“I wanted to feel this place again, to share it with someone who wasn’t a part of my past,” I said, then I turned slowly to look up at him. He stepped closer and cupped his hands around my face.
“Thanks for showing me this place. I like to imagine you here as a kid, running wild and free with your adorable freckles,” he said, as he ran his fingers under my eyes, then got quiet. “I’m sorry.”
“Why?” I said, as I reached up and placed my hand on top of his hand on my cheek.
“I don’t know quite how lightly to tread with your past, and I never want to pry, but you know you can always talk to me if you want to,” he said, gazing into my eyes.
“Thanks. It has just always been easier to carrier my own burdens, instead of others carrying them for me,” I said, and suddenly, he looked sad.
“With you.”
“What?” I asked, confused.
“Have you ever considered the possibility that someone else might want to carry your burdens with you?” he asked. He looked serious.
“Why would anyone want to do that? Nobody else needs to deal with the trauma of my past. I would never want to encumber someone with my issues.”
“Why don’t you let me decide what I want to be encumbered with?” he said, smirking as he mirrored my SAT word. Then he pulled me in for a tight hug and held me there, nuzzling my hair.
“Look!” I said, pointing towards the pine trees along the edge of the airstrip. “They’re blinking on and off together!” It was finally dark enough to see their bodies glowing bright in unison. “Come with me,” I said, as I pulled him by the hand down a dirt path through an opening in the pines.
“What’s through here? Why are you leading me into the woods, Allie? Should I be worried?” he joked. I turned back to him and smiled.
“Come on!” I said, as I tugged harder. “It’ll be here soon; we have to hurry!” He looked confused. “We have to be quick. The train will be here any minute.”
“Train? Allie, have you gone insane? Why are you taking me to train tracks?” he said with a worried expression on his face.
“Oh, come on. Trust me,” I said, as I made my way up the slope of loose crushed gravel towards the tracks. “Coming?” I said, as I looked back over my shoulders. He hesitated, then followed.
“Seriously?” he said, as he climbed the gravel slope behind me.
“Live a little,” I said, through laughter. “Hurry up.”
