Bobby jolts into motion, yanking the drapes off the two armchairs across from his father’s immense desk. They’re a faded red to complement the dark wood of the desk and bookshelves, which only serve to make the room seem smaller, taller, and more intimidating.
Though the sight of Meredith sitting down in one of the chairs brings him a little peace. His mother never sat in here. But Meredith is now. And Meredith is not his father.
“I really am sorry,” he repeats.
“Bobby, sit down,” Meredith insists.
Bobby plops into the opposite chair, coughing as dust rises around him. Meredith waves a hand in front of her face until it settles. His tongue almost feels too big for his mouth, like all his apologies and justifications are ballooning against his teeth.
“Are you all right?”
Bobby blinks at Meredith. “What?”
“Are you all right?” she repeats.
“Am I— Is your mother all right?” he asks. “She fell so hard.”
“She’s just fine,” Meredith says, her voice soothing and smooth. She reaches between the chairs to take his hand. “She was merely startled. But I’m worried about you.”
“Me? Why?” Bobby asks, his voice squeaky with nerves.
“Because you look like someone just shot your puppy, and you’re jumpy as anything, and the man you—and James ran off, and I want to know how you are, please.”
“I’m fine,” he says, rough and probably too quickly. “I just hope Lady Harrington isn’t too angry. I truly didn’t mean to upset her. Or, God, for her to see—I didn’t mean for any of youto see—I would never put you in that position. We were being careful, but I just—”
“Bobby,” Meredith says, squeezing his hand. “Please. No one is angry.”
Bobby’s heart stutters in his chest. “You don’t need to lie.”
“I’m not,” she says firmly. “My mother is fine. She was surprised, as I said, that’s all. She’s not upset, or scandalized. And the rest of us—” She pauses, her grip tight and eyes a bit shiny. “Did you think we wouldn’t support you?”
Bobby blows out a breath, feeling his chin start to tremble. He does not want to cry in front of his sister-in-law. She’s already dealing with more than enough without him breaking down into the heaving sobs he can feel building in his chest.
“We love you,” Meredith says. “No matter who you choose to love, okay?”
Bobby does lose the battle with his tears then, one slipping fat down his cheek. He grips back at Meredith’s hand, watching as her smile softens.
“We love Gwen and Beth just the same, don’t we?”
“’Course,” he mumbles. “But it’s not... They’re—they have Uncle Dashiell, and Aunt Cordelia, and it’snotthe same.”
Meredith sighs. “It will be harder, but it’s no different to us—to me and Albie. I promise you that,” she insists.
Bobby goes to shake his head, knowing any relationship of his would put Albie in danger in a way even Gwen and Beth getting exposed never could.
Meredith squeezes his fingers. “Albie and I will help you make whatever life you want. We get to choose how we spend our lives now. It’s us against the world—isn’t that what you told Albie?”
He meets her eyes at that, feeling the pit of despair in his stomach start to fill. “Old habits,” he admits. “With you here, and Albie working himself to the bone in parliament, it— I haven’t—”
“I know,” Meredith says, and her voice sounds a little watery too. “But I’m better now. And you and Albie are going to get your heads out of your arses and work together, and we are going to build a life that makes usallhappy.”
“Okay,” Bobby says, fighting with his whole heart to believe her, because he wants so desperately to believe her.
“And we’ll find a way to convince James that—”
Bobby shakes his head and stares down at the floor, deflating. “It doesn’t matter. I don’t know what I was thinking,” he says quickly. “James—Demeroven—he doesn’t want a life like that. It was just a passing... something...” He peters off. The words feel like thin knives pushing into his chest.
He thought it was more than that. Thought it was—they were—on their way to a kind of everything. But he was wrong.
