‘There is so much to plan but I know you need to get back to the farm soon, Daisy,’ Blake cut through my thoughts. ‘And you’re coming too, Bronte, in a bit?’
His sister nodded.
‘Okay, well, I’ll drive Daisy back then maybe we can chat about things later? I could come and stay tonight here if that’s okay?’
They both assured him that was more than okay.
We left then, with the assurances that they’d talk about things in more detail later, saying we’d see Bronte at the farm soon.
I followed Blake out of the house and back into his car, curiosity burning in me and hope that I was trying to keep under control while it desperately tried to burst out of my chest. I waited until we had set off towards the farm together.
‘Why did you want me to be there for that?’ I asked him.
‘Surely you know?’ he replied, arching an eyebrow.
We glanced at one another and I wondered if Blake felt as aware as I did of how close we were. My body turned towards his like it couldn’t help it. But I shook my head. I needed him to explain so I didn’t get carried away, and hurt again.
‘Because of what you said in your message. But also the look on your face when I said I was leaving… You were so disappointed in me, and I’ve been thinking about it ever since. I went back to the city and Sarah just assumed we were back together and I felt like I was being swept up in it all again. I couldn’t stop thinking about you and I wanted to leave immediately. I had to sort things out, though and think about what I wanted. But when you sent me that message, I knew you were right. About it all. It’s taken a week to sort it all out but I know I’ve done the right thing.’
Exhaling, my head swam with all what he was telling me. My hope kept on blooming. ‘I’ve been worrying that my message was too much. But I came to talk to Bronte about helping with the ponies and saw your dad in the shop, and I did feel a bit disappointed with you. That you could leave all this…’ I gestured outside of the car. ‘I would give anything to have all you have,’ I added quietly.
‘I know.’ Blake reached over and touched my hand briefly before letting go. My skin warmed instantly at the contact. ‘I thought about that. I realised I was making a huge mistake. I belong here. I know that now. God, this sure has been a crazy summer so far. I started it ready to propose to Sarah and now I’ve left her for good.’
‘You have?’ My pulse spiked at those words; I couldn’t stop it.
‘I realised that being with someone who makes me feel bad about my life isn’t what I want. I want someone to support my dreams, to dreamwithme, not to tell me what I should want. That’s why you’ve changed things so much, Daisy. You keep asking me what it isIwant out of life.’
‘You asked me that too,’ I reminded him. Henry and his family hadn’t cared what I wanted from life either. ‘You made me think about what I want too. This summer has turned everything around for me.’
Blake glanced at my lips then quickly lifted his gaze back to my eyes. But I saw it. Was he thinking about our kisses and touches too? I bit my lip to stop it from tingling in anticipation. ‘I felt so shit about how we left things,’ he said then. ‘Can you forgive me for leaving like I did? I just needed to sort my head out. So much had happened in such a short space of time. I didn’t want to hurt you. I’d never want to do that. But when you sent me your message, I realised I had hurt you by leaving.’
‘I guess I did think what had happened between us kind of meant nothing to you,’ I said softly.
‘What?’ Blake cried, looking over at me. ‘Are you serious?’
I nodded. ‘Yes,’ I whispered, remembering how shocked I’d been that he could just go back to the city when meeting him had shaken up my whole world.
‘God, Daisy. Hang on…’
He surprised me then by pulling the car over to the side of the road.
39
‘Daisy, let’s talk outside for a minute, please?’ Blake jumped out of his car and curiously, I followed him. He came around to my side and I leaned against the passenger door as he stood in front of me. The road was quiet and the sun beat down on us from high in the sky.
Behind Blake was a field of delicate wildflowers, but all I saw was him. We were just as delicate, I realised.
‘What we had, what happened between us, meant so much to me, it forced me to re-evaluate everything,’ Blake started urgently, gazing deep into my eyes. ‘I told you, I started this summer thinking that my life was in the city with Sarah, that I was going to propose to her and work with her even though there was always this doubt in my mind. I kept trying to ignore it. Telling myself I was living the life that I had wanted, that I had chosen, too scared, I think, to admit I’d made a mistake.’ He shook his head. ‘When she cheated on me, I immediately ran. I didn’t want to fix it. I was bitter and angry and hurt, yes. But also, I felt relieved. And then I ran right into you wearing a wedding dress!’
I snorted. ‘Yeah, not the kind of meet-cute you find in a romance book, was it?’
‘Wasn’t it?’ Blake stepped closer. ‘The thing is, ever since that moment, things started to clear for me. I started to realise what I wanted. And that was because of you. You pushed me to see, to face the truth, to look into my heart and to follow it. I can’t believe we pretended we were dating. I’ve never done anything like that before! But it didn’t feel weird to me, did it to you?’
‘No,’ I admitted, softly. ‘It felt strangely… right.’
He reached out and tucked a strand of my hair that was blowing in the breeze behind my ear and then touched the daisy hair clip holding that side back. ‘It felt right to me too. And lying with you and looking up at the stars, I felt peace for the first time in a year. With you, I never struggled for things to say. I never felt awkward or shy or embarrassed about who I was. I could just be myself. And that is fucking rare, Daisy. I never felt that way with Sarah. Did you with Henry?’
‘Never,’ I replied instantly, losing myself in his eyes. When he smiled at my response, showing his dimples, I itched to reach out and touch them. ‘I didn’t ever open up to him. I was never honest with him or myself. But with you, it came so easily. I didn’t feel like I needed to keep my walls up or to protect my heart. We had a connection that I never had with Henry. Or anyone before,’ I admitted. ‘But we don’t know each other well and we’ve both come out of these big relationships and are making all these changes to our lives… maybe you were right to walk away.’
