‘Yeah, you’re right.’ He stopped pacing and looked at me again. ‘Okay, I will… I said I will,’ he said. ‘I know. Don’t worry. I’ll call you when I’m on my way.’ As he hung up, my heart sank down to my stomach.
Blake put his phone away, took a beat then came back to me and the ponies. ‘So, Sarah had a meeting in the city with a big tech company that’s interested in investing in our app. Not only that, but they want to bring it under their company umbrella, which would be a huge deal for the business.’ He ran a hand through his hair. ‘They want to meet me and pitch their plans and make an offer so I need to go to the city.’ He paused. ‘And… I have to go now.’
‘Now?’ I knew originally the plan had always been for him to leave at the end of the weekend but he’d mentioned staying to see the farm open up for the pick-your-own season. ‘I thought you were going to stick around, though?’ I realised I’d been harbouring a hope that he might stay longer, not for the farm, but for me.
‘This could make us a lot of money. Not only that, but they would take over the creating of the app, we’d have access to resources we could never dream of on our own, we’d get to work with the best in the business and the app would launch with a huge platform behind it. It could be huge. Sarah said the app could be worth millions in two years.’ Blake let off a puff of air. ‘I can’t really take it all in, but I can’t say no, can I?’
I looked at him, wondering if two weeks was long enough to know someone. I was realising it wasn’t at all.
‘I thought you didn’t want to do the app any more? That you didn’t like what it stood for? That you’d had enough of the city, and maybe you were thinking of coming… going… home?’ I asked, confused how one call from Sarah was suddenly taking Blake back to the city, back to working with her and back to a life that he’d suggested he hadn’t been enjoying at all.
Blake sighed. ‘I don’t know what to do. I can’t let Sarah lose such a big opportunity. Whatever happened between us, we both put time, money and effort into the app. This could be huge for her. For us.’
‘There’s still an us?’ I could feel myself getting angry and upset. And he appeared confused as to why I wasn’t agreeing this was a good idea. ‘I thought she was your ex? I said goodbye to Henry and last night, we slept together but now you’re going back to Sarah?’ I tried to stay calm but it was proving too difficult. I had taken a chance on Blake and I was rapidly feeling like he hadn’t done the same thing. I turned around and walked out of the pony enclosure.
‘Daisy, wait, it’s not like that,’ Blake cried, hurrying after me. ‘I’m not saying I’m going back to her as a romantic partner but I have to go to this meeting. I’ve put money into this app. I’ve worked for a year on it; I can’t just walk away from all of that,’ he said, pausing to shut the gate then striding after me. He touched my arm. ‘Stop a minute, please?’
I paused but I couldn’t look at him. ‘I thought maybe we were starting something,’ I said quietly. I was hurt. And confused.
‘We knew this was complicated.’ Blake reached for me but I stepped backwards. ‘These two weeks have changed so much; I don’t know what happens next. But I’ve said I’ll go and have this meeting. I need to do this. I’m sorry if that upsets you. It’s the last thing I want. But we didn’t know we were going to meet each other here. I was supposed to be leaving after this weekend. You’ve had closure with Henry. Will you give me time to have the same with Sarah?’
I met his gaze then. ‘What do you want, Blake?’
He’d asked me the same thing. He’d helped me decide what I wanted. But it looked like I hadn’t done the same for him after all.
Blake stared at me for a moment. ‘I don’t know,’ he finally admitted.
And there it was. He wasn’t ready to say goodbye to Sarah completely. Or decide whether he wanted to stop working with her or leave the city.
‘One thing that I’ve realised after all that time with Henry is I don’t want to be in another relationship that neither of us are fully in, with all our hearts. That’s what I deserve.’
I turned and walked on, even though he called me again, I didn’t stop for a second time. Blake had decided to go and I had to let him. Like Henry should have done when I left. Running or chasing after him would do no good. He had to make his own mind up and follow what was in his heart; I couldn’t do it for him. Just like Henry hadn’t been able to do it for me in the end.
When I reached the farmhouse, I walked into the kitchen.
‘Where’s Blake?’ Willow asked, looking up from where she was laying the table for dinner.
‘He’s going back to the city,’ I told her.
‘What? Now?’ She looked at Dylan. ‘Did you know about this?’
He shook his head in surprise.
‘Sarah called. She needs him to have a meeting with a company about their app. It sounds like a big opportunity for them.’ I sat down at the table and avoided my cousin’s concerned look.
‘I thought he wasn’t getting back with Sarah,’ Willow said. ‘He clearly wasn’t happy with her. And that app sounds completely dishonest to me. I wouldn’t want to date someone who used technology to write me messages. I’d want someone genuine.’
‘I’m surprised Blake wants to carry on with it,’ Dylan agreed with her. ‘I’ll go and talk to him.’
He walked out and Willow came to sit beside me. ‘Shit, Daisy, I can’t believe it. I thought you two were becoming a thing.’
‘I did too,’ I confessed, ‘but I was clearly kidding myself. Maybe it was crazy to think we could be anything real after how things started. Fake dating to one side… we both were in serious relationships with other people this year. We’ve only known each other for two weeks. It’s best he goes.’ I looked away from her piercing gaze because although in my head, my words were sensible and made a whole lot of sense, in my heart, I knew there had been something special between us. A connection that you couldn’t explain or… fake.
That’s why it hurt that Blake was walking away from it.
‘Anyway, I came here to decide what I want to do with my future,’ I said, forcing that hurt away because I had made such progress since being here and I didn’t want to go backwards; I wanted to keep moving forward. I didn’t want to stop taking chances. Yes, there would always be pain if you really lived. But there was also a whole host of positive things too: joy, friendship, family, love, laughter, hope and happiness. I had been living a half-life with Henry. Even if I had to be alone, I wasn’t going to do that again. I had to live my life to the full while I could.
‘I’m hoping this is okay…’ I told Willow the idea I’d had to help Mary out in the flower shop. ‘I was thinking just twice a week – one weekday afternoon and a few hours on a Saturday when she’s really struggling. But only if you think I can do the work you need me to do around it. I know how stressed you’ve been and I promised to help you this summer but being in that flower shop, it just felt… right.’ I found myself smiling just thinking about it.
