‘I never let you in!’ I cried. ‘You don’t know the real me. I was so scared to be alone that I became your perfect girlfriend. I did what you wanted. I grasped at the security and family you were offering me, Henry. I hadn’t had either for so long. But I couldn’t let you see the real me. I couldn’t lower my walls. I couldn’t open up to you. Because I am so scared to lose people I love. And you didn’t notice. That’s why I don’t think what we had was real… at all,’ I confessed in a rush, finally being honest with him. I hadn’t wanted to be alone but I realised now that I’d been lonely with Henry.
‘No,’ Henry said, stopping. He turned to me and grabbed hold of my hand, forcing me to stop and face him. ‘That’s not true. Daisy, you’re mine. You belong with me. We belong together. And we will get married. We’ll just do it right next time – we’ll plan it, not my parents. And then everything will be okay,’ he said firmly.
I raised my eyebrow. He wasn’t listening to me. How could I argue with this man? So, I clutched at a straw. ‘What about Blake? We’re here together; we might have something,’ I said. ‘Why would you still want to be with me if that’s the case?’
‘You and Blake?’ he scoffed. ‘Have you slept with him?’ he demanded.
That would have been one lie too far. I shook my head once.
‘Good. I don’t see the two of you together. I don’t see this.’ He let go of my hand to gesture around the farm. ‘None of this is you. You are my fiancée.’ He pointed to my hand. ‘You still wear my ring, darling. You don’t have really feelings for that man.’
I stared at the sparkling diamond ring. Why hadn’t I taken it off yet? I was scared of facing the future alone, I knew that. But I also didn’t want to be with someone and still feel lonely. I shivered at the thought.
‘You’re cold. That Sarah was right; the wind out here is freezing. Let’s walk back and get you into the warm,’ Henry said, taking off again without waiting for my reply.
I trailed after him. I had been enjoying the fresh air. I liked being outside. It was freeing. But once again, he’d decided for me.
‘I know you’re confused right now,’ Henry continued. ‘But you love me. You love our life together. We live in an amazing house, you have everything you want,wehave everything we want. I’m sorry about the wedding stuff. My parents got carried away. I should have said something; that’s on me. I apologise. Daisy, darling, we can work this out, can’t we? Don’t throw away five years because of one day.’
I hesitated, feeling trapped. Then Willow came out of the farmhouse and waved us over. ‘Who’s hungry? My dad has made loads of food. Want to join us?’
I clung to the idea of a group situation instantly. ‘I’m starving,’ I said, quickly throwing her a grateful smile. She had saved me from having to answer Henry, thank God.
‘Can we talk more afterwards?’ Henry asked me.
‘Sure,’ I mumbled, hurrying after Willow into the safety of the farmhouse. Henry sighed but he followed me. I was relieved Willow had bought me some time. I walked into the kitchen and paused to see Blake and Sarah already at the table with Dylan and my uncle.
‘Oh, great,’ Sarah said, loud enough for everyone to hear.
Blake gave me an apologetic smile. They were seated next to each other. It felt wrong to sit down with Henry but I did it anyway. I longed to know what had happened with Blake and Sarah once they were alone. Had it been as difficult as talking to Henry was for me?
‘It’s been a long day all round,’ Willow as she joined us at the table. ‘Some food and drink is just what we need,’ she added, her cheerfulness for once sounding forced.
I wondered if there had ever been a more awkward foursome in history than this.
I seriously doubted it.
14
My uncle and Willow had laid out a summer spread of chicken and vegetable pasta bake, salad and crusty bread. Dylan was pouring out wine, I was relieved to see.
‘It feels like we need to go around and say our names and what we want to achieve in five years’ time,’ Dylan joked as I sat down opposite him.
I rolled my eyes. ‘That gives me flashbacks to a team-building event I had to go on in my first office job,’ I said with a shudder.
‘They are terrible, aren’t they?’ Blake agreed.
‘My father runs great team-building events for our company; it’s all about setting the right objective before you start and then everyone will have a productive day,’ Henry said.
There was a brief silence.
‘Sounds horrific,’ Willow commented.
‘I’m glad I’m out of the office world,’ Dylan agreed.
Henry glowered but didn’t respond.
Adam started serving the food and we all piled up our plates and began eating.
