‘Don’t worry,’ I assured them all, ‘I’m staying for a while; I’ll help too. The ponies will be really popular, I bet. And they can be part of the new pick-your-own experience we’re going to create.’
‘You really want to stay and help?’ Willow asked me again. I could tell she wasn’t sure whether to fully believe that I was going to stick around after being away for so long. But I wanted to. Being here just felt… right.
‘I really do. For as long as you need me,’ I promised. Immediately, I felt better too. Like some of the weight on my shoulders had lifted a little bit. I wasn’t so lost now; I had a plan. I was going to do some good while I decided what I wanted for my life. Free to make my own decisions again.
Blake looked over at me and smiled, like he knew what a big deal this was for me.
‘Yay! See, Dad, Dylan? We have enough help,’ Willow said excitedly. ‘I think this summer will be our best yet,’ Willow said as one of the ponies leaned over to chew on the necklace around her neck. ‘Oh, shit,’ she yelped, stepping away. ‘I better take my mum’s necklace off around these guys,’ she said.
‘They can be a lively pair,’ Craig, one of farmers, said with a chuckle. ‘But they’ll feel part of the family in no time.’ He handed one of the leads to Blake and one to Willow as he and the other man stepped back and turned towards their truck to head off.
‘Out of interest – why were you selling them?’ Adam asked as Blake and Willow started to encourage the ponies to walk towards the fields behind the farmhouse. Maple hurried after them with a bark, clearly keen to help herd the ponies.
The men exchanged a look.
‘They can be a bit… mischievous,’ Craig said finally. He waved. ‘Okay, bye!’ Then they hastily climbed into their truck.
‘Mischievous,’ Adam repeated, then he turned to me and Dylan. ‘Is it me who thinks that word sounds ominous?’
‘Not just you,’ Dylan agreed. ‘Willow said she got them at a very good price. But Blake is great with horses so I’m sure they’ll settle in quickly, right?’
Neither of us had an answer for him.
10
Once I had got dressed and drank a large cup of coffee, I wandered out to find Willow leaning against the fence in the small field she had put the ponies in. She wore matching shorts and T-shirt to what she had given me to wear – and I thought that maybe I needed to do something about the fact that I had none of my stuff here now that I was staying for a few days at least. Maple sat beside her still regarding the ponies with a look of deep distrust as they chewed on grass.
‘I had been keeping this space to try growing some new fruit and veg for next year so it was free for the ponies. We’ll need them closer to the pick-your-own area to offer the pony rides, though. Maybe we can build an enclosure over there? They seem to be settling in okay,’ she said without preamble. ‘Blake is making sure they have all they need in the barn. Thank God he’s come to stay for a couple of weeks is all I can say.’ She turned to me. ‘I’m so happy you’re staying for a bit. Have you turned your phone back on yet?’
I swallowed hard. ‘No, I just need a bit more time before I speak to Henry. Think about what I want to happen next.’ There was so much up in the air between us and I knew I couldn’t avoid dealing with it for much longer but right now, the space felt like it was a good thing.
‘You would have been on your honeymoon anyway, right? It’s not like you’ve left them in the lurch at your work or anything?’
‘We had a two-week break in the Maldives planned,’ I said. ‘I thought I would be back to work after that but they had planned for me to leave. Henry’s mum said they’d already started recruiting for a new PA for his dad. I had no idea.’
‘That’s so shady of them,’ Willow said.
‘Yeah, but now I’ll have lost my job anyway.’
‘You think they would really sack you?’
‘I do. Henry’s dad likes to be in control of everything. Me leaving the wedding was completely out of his control. He will be furious.’ I shook my head. ‘I wouldn’t want to go back to working for him now. I didn’t really enjoy it. And it gave him so much say over my life. But what I will do instead, I really have no idea.’
‘There’s no hurry in working that out,’ she said. ‘I really am so grateful you are going to lend a hand with the farm.’
I bit my lip. ‘I have no idea how good I’ll be at all this, though.’
She shrugged. ‘You’re a Connor. You’ve spent a lot of time here. And you have always had a creative eye. Like your mother. You’ll be fine.’
It had been so long since I’d been around anyone who knew my parents, her words sent a jolt through me. Yes, it was sad to remember them but it was nice to hear that she thought I was creative like my mum.
‘You loved arts and crafts and making things pretty; remember that fort set-up we made in the house one Christmas?’
‘That was so cosy,’ I agreed, thinking about the fairy lights, cushions and bean bags we put inside the tent. It had been a long time since I created anything. For Henry’s dad, it was all admin, admin and more admin. I hoped Willow was right and I’d be good at working on the farm.
‘You’re a lifesaver being here,’ she added.
‘I think it’s the other way around,’ I replied. Willow had offered me a life raft. She needed my help, sure, but this was giving me a much-needed moment to breathe.
