Blake asked him how he met Willow then. Dylan and Willow launched into the story of how he’d turned up at the farm wanting to buy it and she was having none of it. We listened and laughed, and I saw how they looked at each other. I was sure Henry had never looked at me like that. And I hadn’t looked at him that way either. I had been certain I didn’t want to find true love. The heartache that could come with it wasn’t worth the pain after all I had been through. But they seemed so happy. I couldn’t help but feel a little envious. And wondered if I might ever find something like that.
But even if I did, I had no idea if I’d be able to let it in, or whether I’d run and hide from it.
8
‘Let’s get the next round,’ Willow said to Dylan then, shaking me from my melancholy thoughts.
I looked down at my glass, surprised to find that it was empty. The evening was going by quickly. I had spent a lot of nights with Henry and his friends feeling awkward and out of place, longing to just go home. But this evening, I didn’t feel that way. Willow and Dylan were fun. And Blake seemed less intimidating with a beer in his hand. Although when they left us alone to buy more drinks, I wondered if I would feel awkward again.
A phone started ringing then. Blake pulled his out of his pocket and stared at the screen in shock. ‘It’s Sarah. My ex,’ he said, looking at me in horror.
‘You can take it if you want,’ I said.
He seemed to be debating internally. Then he said, ‘Um… excuse me,’ and got up from the table, walking away. I tried not to look but couldn’t help notice that his face was tight with anger as he spoke to her.
Dylan and Willow returned with the drinks.
‘Blake looks tense,’ Willow said when she saw him.
‘It’s Sarah on the phone.’
‘Oh. Did you ever meet her?’ Willow asked Dylan.
‘No, but I saw his sister a few weeks ago and she said the family hadn’t seen him since he moved in with her a year ago and she thought…’ Dylan abruptly stopped talking as Blake returned to the table so I didn’t get to hear what Blake’s sister had thought about his ex-girlfriend but it didn’t sound like it was going to be good.
‘You okay?’ Dylan asked him gently.
‘That was Sarah. Said I can’t just end things like this. That we need to talk about our business. Which I guess we do. She wants to come to the farm. I said I’d think about it.’
‘It’ll be hard to see her,’ Willow said sympathetically.
‘Yeah. But we do work together; I didn’t really think about that when I left. I just had to get out of there and away from her.’ Blake looked at me suddenly. ‘Have you heard from your ex?’
I shifted uncomfortably at him calling Henry my ex. I mean, I guessed he was now I’d ditched our wedding but we hadn’t actually said that to each other. Yet. Plus, his grandmother’s engagement ring was still on my finger. ‘He’s left voicemails and sent lots of texts. I replied last night to say I’m safe and staying with Willow, and that I need time before I can talk to him properly. Then I turned my phone off,’ I admitted.
‘Daisy is going to stay for a few days, aren’t you?’ Willow asked me.
‘That would be good. But I know I can’t hide out here forever. Even if I wish I could.’
‘I know that feeling,’ Blake muttered as he picked up his drink and took a long gulp from it.
‘Neither of you need to do anything you don’t want to,’ Willow said firmly. ‘They can both wait until you’re ready to see them.’
‘Let’s change the subject. Please,’ Blake pleaded.
‘Daisy came up with a great idea to make a trail for summer like we did in autumn,’ Willow said, and started to talk about her plans for the pick-your-own opening. We all made suggestions and drank our second drinks talking about the farm and not our personal lives, which seemed to suit all of us.
Once we’d finished, we headed back to the farm. Dylan and Willow strode on ahead, more used to the slightly uphill walk, while Blake and I trailed behind. The sun had set now but the night was still warm. I looked up to see the stars. There was nothing to hide them out here, and they were beautiful.
‘The sky feels like it stretches on forever,’ I said. ‘I remember staying on the farm when I was young; Willow and I camped out in one of the fields. We spent most of the night looking up at the stars. Imagine doing that as an adult.’
‘Maybe they would have some answers for us,’ Blake said. ‘Maybe we should try it one night while we’re here.’ He smiled at the idea. I knew that would never happen.
‘Are you okay after… earlier?’ I asked, not wanting to bring up Sarah by name.
‘I guess I knew I couldn’t just end things for good when I walked out that day. When I realised she had a man in our bedroom, I just packed a bag and took off. But we live and work together. God, why does everything have to be complicated?’ He sighed. ‘You’re right; I wish I could go back to being young and looking up at the stars without a care in the world.’
I nodded. ‘I feel like that a lot. Especially lately. I think that’s why my first thought when I left my wedding was to come and see my cousin. I’d stayed away because I was worried the farm wouldn’t feel the same as I did when I was a child. But it does. I’m glad I came back.’
