Adam doesn’t say anything for about thirty seconds. My body tenses—is he mad at me? Did I say the wrong thing? But then hesays, “There’s also this new place that just opened up last summer. It’s inside an old house. They have candles, tablecloths. Very intimate.”
“Oh!” I smile. “Intimate sounds good. What kind of food is it?”
“I’m not really sure. I was chatting with someone a few weeks ago, and he said he took his wife there for their anniversary.”
“That sounds expensive, then. We can go to the steakhouse. You mentioned that one first, so that’s what you’d prefer, right?”
Adam glances at me with a relaxed smile on his face. “You want something quiet, I’m guessing?”
I nod. “Yeah. I don’t like crowds. Or loud music. I hate having to try so hard to focus on what the person I’m with is saying.”
“Okay. Noted. Let’s go to the other place.”
“I’ll pay for my dinner,” I say quickly. “Oh! I can treat! I can get both of our dinners.”
Adam laughs, but it’s not unkind. “Sky.Iasked you out on this date. It’smytreat. Don’t worry about money.” For a couple of minutes, we drive in silence, the town whipping past us in a blur of a mix of older neighborhoods with enormous oak canopies alongside pockets of new developments, most identifiable by the homes that are identical with virtually no trees. I’m thinking about what the energy bills of those new homes look like when Adam says, “Correct me if I’m wrong. But about the conversation we just had.”
I knew it! I did say the wrong thing! “Yes?”
“Do you always feel like you’re a burden? Or try to make yourself have as few needs as possible?”
I swallow. “Probably.” He’s patient as I go over my thoughts. “It’s…well. My whole life, people who didn’t want me were forced to take care of me. Like, in the beginning, my father didn’twant to know I existed. My mother left when I was a baby. Nadia didn’t want to raise me, so she made Sage do it, and later on, Teal also helped with rearing me. And then I fell, and returned, and they still are having a hard time letting go of those roles, you know? I don’t like it.” I swallow and look out my window, noting the thin, bright clouds rolling across the blue sky. “And I guess one way I try to make up for being the one everyone’s always worried about is by trying to not have any needs. Otherwise…what if they leave me, too? I don’t ever want to be too much. Although that seems unavoidable most of the time, given my whole life and personality.”
Adam nods and squeezes my hand. “But you know that no one’s going to leave you. Your sisters do the things they do because they love you.”
I shake my head. “Maybe, but when they both got super busy this spring, with their families and their lives, they both kind of…ignored me. I know they both had a lot going on. But it bothers me that I was dropped. It didn’t help my fears.”
“I understand. But…just speaking for myself. And us. I don’t want you to try and minimize your needs around me. I want to know what it is that you need. If that means you want a quiet dinner, let me know. I want you to be comfortable.”
I nod. My heart almost hurts because this might be one of the sweetest things a man has ever told me. “What about you? What do you need?”
Adam laughs. “To make you smile like you’re smiling right now.”
I roll my eyes. “Yeah, yeah. That’s still about me, though.”
“Okay. I need to make you come again by sucking on your clit while pinching your nipples.”
“Holy shit.” I wasn’t expecting that kind of talk to come out ofhis mouth right now. I cross my legs and squeeze my thighs together. “Wait. That’s still about me! You’re trying to distract me!”
Adam laughs again, but this time it’s a deep belly laugh. “Okay. Yeah.” He takes a breath as he pulls into the parking lot of what I’m assuming is the restaurant. He turns the car off and looks at me. “I’m still trying to figure that out, you know? My needs. Because for a long time, I just grabbed a beer.”
I nod. “I get it.”
“I know you do. But I think, right now, I need to just take things easy and slow. With everything. Sobriety, figuring out my life here in Cranberry, caretaking.”
I think about this for a moment. “Do you need me to do anything to help you with that?”
“Not a damn thing.” He leans over and kisses me, hard and quick, and I nearly whimper when he pulls away. I can’t believe how ready I am for him over nothing but a few dirty words and a brief kiss. “Just let me take you out to dinner, and if you still want to, let me make love to you after.”
“I want that,” I say quickly. “All of it.”
He laughs again. “Okay. Let’s go eat, then.”
28
The restaurant is called BlackstoneCrossing, which sounds more like a train station to me, but the inside is exactly what Adam had promised: completely romantic and cozy. While the outside was a three-story home with an almost industrial, chipped-paint look, inside it’s all small converted bedrooms with only three or four tables in each one. The windows are open to various views—trees, the ocean, the parking lot, still pretty and filled with flowering bushes—and each table is covered in a cottagecore, red gingham pattern. Wall lanterns accompany the table candles, making everything flicker in golden orange, and I feel like I’ve stepped into a restaurant run by a happy hobbit or something.
“This is lovely,” I whisper to him as we wait for our table.
