I laugh. “I don’t think so. The whole thing was a big headache,even if it was worth it in the end.” I glance around myself, only I’m looking for a car seat. “Where’s the baby?”
“Tenn took him to the Finger Lakes with a cooler full of pumped milk.”
“Best lakes in town.” I put my water bottle back, grab a taco, and just as I’m about to bite, I look up. “So…what are you guys doing here? You’re not just feeding me from the goodness of your hearts.”
“What do you mean?” Sage asks through a full mouth. “Can’t we make you food just because?”
I shake my head. “You can. But you don’t.”
“We want to know what happened with you and Adam,” Teal says, pulling out her phone so I can look at the last text I sent them.Adam and I totally just did stuff!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I swallow my bite. “Oh. Yeah.”
“We figured you meant, you know.” Sage makes a gesture with her finger and hand that I think is supposed to indicate intercourse. “And we wanted to hear about it!”
“And make sure you were safe. You’re not on birth control, are you?” Teal is still looking like she’s either a cop or a military sergeant, and I guess now I understand why.
I suppress a sigh. I’m glad my sisters want to know about my life, but I’ll be so happy when they let go of this idea that I’m some little kid who doesn’t know anything about anything.
They want to know what happened? Fine. “I gave him a hand job, and he came all over my comforter, which is why it’s rolled up in the corner over there, and then he ate me out, and then he ate my ass while finger-blasting me. Oh, and he brought a ton of Indian food from out of town, so if you want any, you can pack some up in Tupperware whenever you leave.”
“He ate your ass!” Sage gasps. “What was that like?”
“Tenn’s never eaten your ass before?” Teal asks.
“No. We don’t do ass things. We’ve never really talked about it but he must not be into it, I figured.”
“Maybe he wants to receive,” Teal suggests.
Sage frowns thoughtfully. “Hmm. Anyone want to watch the baby sometime next week?”
“So you can eat your husband’s ass?” I ask. “I can watch Oak. That’s an important endeavor.”
“Deal,” Sage says, then turns to Teal. “Why do you sound surprised that we hadn’t done it before? Is everyone getting their ass eaten but me and Tennessee?”
Teal shrugs. “I don’t kiss and tell.”
I roll my eyes. “You told us about the time Carter fingered you in the kitchen but then stopped short of getting you off, plus a great deal of other intimate moments. So you should amend your statement toI don’t eat ass and tell.”
Teal scoffs playfully. “All I can say is, if you’re going to eat a man’s ass, reach around and tease his dick at the same time. He will sound like he’s going to die, but don’t stop till he—” She makes an explosion sound at the same time she opens her hands in front of her.
Sage raises her eyebrows. “Noted!” She turns to me. “Okay, soooo. You two didn’t do penetration.”
I swallow a bite of what is definitely turkey bacon. Not bad, but not exactly awesome, either, not that I would ever tell Teal that. “Why do we call it penetration, anyway? That’s pretty focused on the cis male experience of intercourse, isn’t it?”
Sage nods. “I see. Yes. Okay, so you didn’treceivehim yesterday.” She gestures to her crotch. “Yourreceptionistdidn’t accept a newappointment.”
I roll my eyes. “No. We did not. But when and if we do”—onTuesday most likely, but I don’t include this—“I can text you guys. Do you want to know after or while he’s still inside me?”
“Hey.” Teal sits next to me and puts her hand on my knee. “I’m sorry if we sound patronizing.”
I sigh. “I just get frustrated sometimes at how much I missed, you know? I went from sixteen to twenty-four. And now I’m twenty-six. I feel like I know nothing, and I know you all mean well, but sometimes I feel like you treat me like I’m incapable. You know?”
“I get it. I’m sorry, Sky. When I got that text yesterday, I panicked because I realized that you never really got the big-sister birds-and-the-bees talk like Sage gave me.”
I breathe out slowly and nod. “I know. I didn’t. But I have done it before, you know.”
“With Ramón!” Sage says. “No onethought you two were fucking. That boy acted like he was trying to literally be Jesus with his purity. He wouldn’t even laugh at the most vague dirty joke!”
