I grab my key ring from my work tote and pull up my desk key, the one that opens the top secret drawer on the lower right side of my desk. I have officially gone from mildly pissed off to full-blown grumpy, which means I need my emergency stash of distractions.
Sliding the drawer open, it contains one Halloween-sized bag of various dark chocolates, a few romance novels “borrowed” from Nadia (she doesn’t know I’m borrowing them, is all), and finally, one banged-up sketchbook in the color of mint green. The sketchbook is what I pull out. First, I mean. I definitely grab a handful of chocolates right after.
I flip open the book to a random page, and it lands on a cutout of an old newspaper article, one I’d found in this very room. I copied it and pasted it here not one month ago.
INEBRIATED WOMEN ARRESTED DOWNTOWN, it reads.Thirteen elderly women were arrested for public intoxicationbehind Gerald’s, the general store.I flip to another page, where another pasted headline announces:NUDE WOMEN FOUND DANCING IN CRANBERRY FALLS STATE PARK. Officers report that the women dispersed with a quickness and none could be caught for questioning. It is estimated that there were at least ten, and no more than fifteen.Finally, I land on the last page, the one I’d updated a couple of days ago:WITCHCRAFT ACCUSATIONS DISMISSED BY CITY COURTS.This one is much more vague:Judge Stateson has dismissed the accusations against several Cranberry City residents, stating that the evidence is purely circumstantial.
Since I started this position, I’ve noticed a pattern while going through some of the old records in here. Stories of groups of women gathering, often in the wilderness. Locals complaining about “strange sightings” near St. Theresa’s. Things like that.
To make a long story short, the city of Cranberry had some kind of weird matriarchal cult back in the day. And I kinda think it’s still happening.
What I’m going to do with this information…I haven’t a clue. But having my own little harmless mystery to solve iswaymore fun than dealing with people. [Shudders.]
And also…maybe figuring out the origins of this cult can somehow help me feel like I belong in this town, you know? If somewhere along the way, a Flores woman was involved in these shenanigans. Even if I’m never accepted, I can stand strong knowing that I have deep ancestral connections. Magical ones, even.
So instead of reading the boring old terrain map book on my desk, I go over the articles again and again, taking notes of the similarities between them. After all that, I go back to the pile of old newspapers, using my gloved hands to smooth them out to see if I can find another to add to my sketchbook scrapbook.
My alarm goes off to let me know I only have five minutes till my shift ends. I began setting alarms because without them, I’ve accidentally stayed here up to an hour later, so absorbed in my research and reading and chocolate-popping. I sigh at the pile of gold foil candy wrappers at my desk and begin to clean up.
I lock the front doors, since Anise’s shift ended about four hours ago, and marvel at how strange it feels, being alone in a parking lot in the dark with absolutely no fear. I could call security to escort me to my car, but I’m not in danger, thanks to all the animals who are always near.
Even now, I can sense the hum of their bodies surrounding me: the slate gray and dried-leaf brown coyotes in the woods behind the old building; the sleeping, sweet wrens in the pine trees to my right; the distant bear mama and her two babies, asleep under the porch of an abandoned home in the neighborhood behind the building. I am always with family. That’s what animals are to me. It’s a privilege I will never take for granted: the fact that I know if any man tried to hurt me, he would find himself mangled without my having to lift a single finger.
It’s only after I’ve gotten home, showered, and braided my hair that I realize Teal never wrote me back like she said she would. My stomach feels as though it is filled with rocks when I check the group chat, refreshing it a few times as though somehow a message from her will magically appear.
I know she didn’t intend to forget about me…but she did.
And the old gods know Ihatebeing forgotten like I’m just a ghost.
6
On the weekends the librarycloses at EIGHT in the evening rather than at ten at night, and so the sun is just beginning its deep orange descent into the dark silhouette of the landscape as Anise and I exit the building when she asks me, “What are you doing tonight? Want to get a drink and something to eat at Lost Souls?”
I am so startled, I nearly fall onto the parking lot asphalt. “Whoa,” she laughs. “It’s just a question.”
“Right. Of course.” I shake my head and pretend it’s totally normal for someone who is not a blood relative to ask me to hang out. “Um.” I honestly don’t know what to say.
Anise leans on her hip and points her car keys at me. Her outfit is gorgeous as usual, with a white pinstripe blazer and a navy silk blouse over dark-wash jeans. Thanks to Teal forcing me to get my whole “sexy librarian” wardrobe last year, I think Anise and I are the best dressed of the whole library, which makes it ironic that almost no one will ever know it, considering we workin virtual isolation. “Look. That lasagna was the best thing I’ve eaten in a month. And you always bring extra food, and you don’t have to. Let me treat you now, as a thank-you.”
I shift my weight on my feet, barely having the courage to make eye contact with her. “And…Dennis doesn’t mind?”
She snorts. “Tonight’s poker night. He won’t even notice if I get home late. He’ll be having too much fun.”
I shrug and nod and say, “Um. Yeah. Okay.”
We agree to meet there, and on the way, it hits me, what I’ve gotten myself into.
I’ve just agreed to have a drink inpublic. At the very place where Iknowa group of people were going to laugh at my being sexually pranked. I have to pull over into the Burger King parking lot and take a few long deep breaths to get the feeling like my skin is crawling and detaching to stop.
This morning I went to the store to pick up eggs, milk, and cheese, and you know what happened while I was waiting in line to check out? An old white woman behind me said, “You know, I really hate liars,” to literally no one while staring at me in the face. Because the whole town thinks I actually ran away for eight years and came back and justsaidI woke up in the woods.
I remembered my promise to myself to be sharper. Be the pinecone.
So I turned around and hissed at her, like a cat. It was a good hiss, too. I rolled my eyes in my head, scrunched my eyebrows as deeply as I could, and bared every single tooth in the process.
It wassosatisfying to see her eyes widen as she jumped back.
But then it kind of backfired. Because she threw her hands all around and screamed, “This woman is possessed! I just looked into the eyes of the devil! Jesus protect me!”
