He carries me to the back porch and puts me on one of the lawn chairs, and he literally says, “Let’s read each other our favorite poems.” And you know what? As corny as it sounds, that’s exactly what we do. I read to him “Chambered Nautilus” by Linda Hogan and he reads to me “Sometimes a Wild God” by Tom Hirons and then we remember things aloud about our childhood—Abuelo Gene, the dominoes, the guava pastries and sneaky sips of Cuban coffee. Until we’re laughing so hard, my eyes are tearing up. Until I’m certain there are a million layers of rainbows in the sky, hidden by the deepest blue velvet in the night sky.
There’s the slightest blip in our feel-good vibes when I turn and say to him, “Hey, um. Did you happen to see anything weird in the lightning yesterday?”
He turns to me, that line between his brows there once again. “What do you mean?”
“Like, it took on some weird…unexpected…forms? Almost like, I don’t know. A simulation of some kind?”
He blinks at me and shakes his head. “There for sure could’ve been. But I was only looking at you, Teal. I didn’t look anywhere else.”
I nod, trying hard to not show my disappointment, and quickly change the subject, this time to back when I tricked Carter into eating a hot pepper from Nadia’s garden, and soon we’re laughing all over again. And it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter that I’m all alone in that weird experience. It probably means nothing anyway.
He helps me get ready for bed so I don’t put any more weight on my foot than necessary, and he makes sure I have my medicine so I don’t wake up in the night from throbbing, sharp pain.
When he goes to the door, to get to the pull-out, I whisper, “Stay,” so softly, I’m equally afraid he has and hasn’t heard me.
But he freezes and turns to me. “Yeah?”
“Yes.”
He pauses. “But…not for sex, right?”
I shake my head, ignoring another drop of disappointment in my chest. I wasn’t inviting him for sex, but the fact that he is still so against the idea of it feels like another rejection all over again. “No sex.”
But then something maybe even better than sex happens. When he gets under the covers, he turns over toward me, draping his heavy arm over my hip, hand on my belly, and then he nudges me until I’m completely wrapped up in him, the way I feel when I’m all alone in the big, dark, safe forest after a long run. He lets out a deep, long sigh and says, “Fuck, I’ve missed you, Teal. You have no idea.”
These words linger in my mind like a lullaby when I fall asleep.
Carter wakes up early tomake me breakfast—eggs and fried plantains with sliced avocado on the side—and then he claps his hands together. “I took the next few days off, so we can do whatever you want,” he tells me with a big smile on his face.
I raise my eyebrows. “The whole week? Really?”
“Yep. I’ve accrued enough PTO so it doesn’t matter. And Nate—” He coughs. “Well, Nate said it was fine.”
I finally let myself smile in response to this news. “When did you ask for the week off?”
Carter’s cheeks pinken. “This morning.” He shrugs and looks off in the distance. “I just…you know. I thought we could spendthis week doing best friend shenanigans. Like, catching up on old times and stuff.”
I’m so moved, I can’t speak, so I cover for this with a big bite of plantain.
“I was thinking, today—”
“Dammit!” I rise up, then remember about my foot, and plop back down. “I have brunch with Amá Sonya in two hours. So I can’t do anything till after that.”
“Oh,” Carter says, but he doesn’t look at all disappointed. “Two hours gives us enough time, I think…for what I have planned today. And maybe I could come with you to brunch after.”
I give him a look like he just suggested we should pierce our nipples, ourselves, for funsies. “You. Want to come to brunch. With Sonya.”
He shrugs. “She usually gives you a hard time, right? I could be there and buffer things.”
And now I’m basically melted butter. “We have to dress up. You know that right?”
He shrugs. “Not a problem at all, Teal.”
“And she’s probably going to insult us. A lot. But backhandedly. So it sounds like almost a compliment.”
“Teal. I grew up with y’all. I know how Sonya is, remember?” He furrows his brow. “Do you not want me to come? That’s fine if you’d rather I stay.”
“No, I—” I blink a few times when I realize that I’m actually getting emotional. “I just don’t know if it’s worth your time.”
