Miri propped herself up on her forearm and faced him. “What do you mean he gave up? Where did you hear that?”
“My boss told me. That’s who I was on the phone with,” he said. He didn’t want to lie, but he couldn’t exactly tell her that his dad had a network into the archaeological happenings in Brazil. “He’d heard they were evacuated after a snake bite got one of them.”
Miri sighed. But the news didn’t seem to faze her.
“What does it matter?” she said, lying back down.
Rafa’s head cocked to the side, eying her as she stared at thethatched roof covering them. That wasn’t the reaction he’d expected from this news.
“I guess it means we don’t need to worry about what Vautour might have done to the city if he were to find it.” Rafa then paused, struggling to say the next words. “And that you shouldn’t feel bad if you decide to give up.”
He had to look away when he said it. The words tasted vile on his lips. Like a betrayal.
But Miri remained silent, her gaze unflinching. Time stopped. Everything stopped. Including her.
“Did you hear what I said?” he asked.
She let out a long breath. “I heard you. It just…it’s too late. It doesn’t matter anymore because this isn’t about Vautour,” Miri said. “I mean, it is—or, it was—but this is about me. I’ve been thinking a lot about what you said earlier. About finding whatever it is that will bring you happiness,” she said.
He’d been thinking a lot about that conversation, too.
“Oh yeah? What about it?” he asked.
Miri sat up and brushed her hand just under her eye. “Well, you talked about how all of your accomplishments have made you proud, but not necessarily happy.”
“Those things aren’t mutually exclusive. Youcanfind happiness in things that make you proud.”
“I thought about that, too. But then I really thought about why I’m here and tried to figure out whether succeeding on this expedition would make me proudorhappy, and at this point, I think the answer is that it won’t make me either of those things.”
He tipped his head to the side, wondering what she was getting at. “I thought this was what you wanted?”
“So did I. I want to be a leader, but I want toearnthat respect, not have it handed to me. I want the success of the expedition tobe becauseImade a brilliant discovery, not because someone gave me a piece of paper with a list. I want people towantto be here, not just sucking it up because it’s their job. If we succeed now, it won’t be because of anything I did. And how can I be proud of my accomplishment if my entire team gave up on me?”
“If finding the Moon City won’t bring you happiness, whatwill?” he asked.
She stared him straight in the eye, then spoke. “Being content with not being some extraordinary, larger-than-life badass and, instead, loving being me. Sometimes talking too much. Often daydreaming about nothing. Being agoodarchaeologist, even if it means never being a great one. Telling corny jokes. Being known for always bringing the best snacks. And wearing fanny packs like they’re going out of style.”
She smiled, and it warmed Rafa’s heart. Did she really not see how amazing she was? He brushed her hair from her face with the pad of his thumb, wiping away a dried tear stain on her cheek.
“Pringles, everything you just said highlights why you’re the baddest badass of them all.”
“You think I’m badass?” she said with a smile.
“I think you’re everything.”
She sucked in a breath and bit her lip. The forest stilled around them, fading into the background as they inched closer to each other. He scanned her face, searching for unspoken permission, before leaning forward—
TH-CRACK!
A roll of thunder boomed through the sky, immediately followed by downpouring rain. The ruckus startled Anissa awake and she practically jumped out of her chair, which forced Miri and Rafa apart.
“Holy shit!” Anissa yelled as Miri and Rafa pulled their legs up from the walkway and huddled under the overhanging thatched roof of Anissa’s cabin.
Rafa’s heart pounded, but he wasn’t sure whether it was because of the thunder or how close he and Miri had come to breaking that invisible barrier they’d built between the two of them. That was close. Too close.
“I’m going to make a run for it,” Miri said, motioning toward her cabin.
The walkways between cabins weren’t covered, but with the rainfalls lasting anywhere from a few minutes to a few hours, they definitely weren’t going to spend the night all tucked in Anissa’s bed waiting it out. Luckily, Miri only had to run a few cabins down. Rafa, on the other hand, had to travel several cabins away and would most certainly get drenched.
