Callie, on the other hand, is notably absent.
Is she with Logan? Is that why he was so eager to give me a day off? Margot said Callie was looking for him, and suddenly he’s rushing off to be at her side?
No. I need to stop my mind from going there. After all, he said nothing was happening between them, while we were in the observatory under the Perseus Double Cluster. He couldn’t have lied in there, right? Wasn’t the cluster supposed to reveal our truest, deepest emotions?
My chaotic feelings swirl faster and faster inside me like a growing storm, electricity buzzing beneath my skin, trying to force its way out. Dizziness washes over me, and my heart races. Because it’s too much. I feel like I might burst from it. And to make it worse, I know that if I gave in and let itoutto wherever it wants to go,it would feel so much better.I’dfeel so much better.
But I don’t. Instead, I picture the glass sphere and contain the silver currents.
After all, I haven’t been training for weeks just to reveal my dangerous, forbidden magic during apumpkin carvingsession.
“Earth to Jade.” Oliver waves a slimy, pumpkin-guts-covered hand to get my attention. “You’re staring into space and gripping your knife like you’re planning murder.”
“Sorry.” I shake it off and refocus on my carving. “Just thinking.”
“About?” Evie glances at the greenhouse door for what must be the tenth time in twenty minutes.
“About how you keep checking the entrance like you’re expecting someone.”
Pink blooms across her cheeks. “I’m not?—“
“You absolutely are.” I set down my knife, studying her. “Who are you hoping shows up?”
“No one.” She attacks her pumpkin with renewed vigor. “I’m just... people watching.”
“You realize that’s pretty creepy, right?” Oliver breaks in. “Switch those two words around, and you’rewatching people,like some sort of psychopath. Same thing, different phrasing.”
“Shut up.” Evie scowls at him and returns to her pumpkin.
“Hey.” I bump her shoulder gently. “You know you can talk to me, right? About anything?”
She manages a smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes. “I know. Same goes for you.”
If only. If only I could tell her about the electricity humming under my skin. About Logan’s hands on my face in the starlight. About how I’m supposed to take tonight off from training when all I want is to be in those secret tunnels with him, finally finding out what it feels like to haveallof him.
But no. I’m stuck here pretending everything’s normal while my insides are being twisted into knots.
How long can a person fake it until they finally crack? Until the glass shatters and everything they’ve been hiding spills out for the entire world to see? Because I’m not sure how much longer I can keep it contained. I’m not sure how much longer Iwantto keep it contained.
Unfortunately, I haven’t been given much of a choice. Well, I technically do have a choice—we all have options, even if we don’t like any of them—but I definitely don’t like the ones being presented to me.
“Speaking of the ball,” Oliver says, pulling me out of my swirling thoughts, “we should coordinate meeting times. The Phoenix Hall common room at seven?”
“Sounds perfect.” Avery beams at him, then glances around at the rest of us. “That works for everyone, right?”
“Absolutely.” Evie’s checking the door again, and at this point, I’m tempted to drag whoever she’s waiting for in here myself just to put her out of her misery.
Oliver looks to me for my answer next.
“Can’t wait.” The lie tastes bitter, but I force enthusiasm into my voice. At least it sounds like Avery and Oliver are going to the ball together. Emberlinked partners going together will be a scandal, but Nina’s lost her stupid bet about whether or not Oliver will askme.After all, he can’t ask me if he’s already going with someone else.
Needing to return to doing something with my hands, I twist my pumpkin to attack a particularly stubborn section, determined to win this battle against produce. But the thick stem refuses to budge.
“Here, let me help.” Oliver leans diagonally across the table with his blade, his hands still covered with pumpkin guts. “We just need to get under?—”
The stem snaps, and Oliver’s blade jerks sideways, slicing deep into my forearm.
“Shit!” I drop my knife, blood already welling up on my skin. There’s somuchof it. Way more than there should be from a tiny knife.
