“Because it’s complicated.” She picks at her sandal strap. “We have this whole dynamic. Study partners, training buddies. What if I ruin it by wanting more?”
“Or what if you’re already ruining it by pretending you don’t?”
She’s quiet for a moment, and I can see her wrestling with something deeper than just admitting a crush. “You know what the worst part is? Sometimes I catch him looking at me, and I think maybe... but then I convince myself I’m imagining things.”
“You’re not imagining things,” I say firmly. “Trust me. The way Felix looks at you when you’re not paying attention? That’s not a ‘just friends’ look.”
“Really?” Hope creeps into her voice.
“Really. You should tell him how you feel.”
“But what if he doesn’t feel the same way?”
“And what if hedoesfeels the same way, and you’re both just circling each other, too scared to make the first move?”
She’s quiet for a long moment. “I don’t know.” She shrugs, then snaps out of it. “Anyway, back to you and Oliver. What’s really going on with you two? Because when we were talking about him just now, you seemed…” She pauses, as if searching for the right word. “Unenthused.”
Shit. Evie’s too smart.
I need to get out of this without looking like the bad guy. Which means more lies. Lies on top of lies on top of lies. That’s all my life has been since I’ve gotten to this school.
“It’s been a lot for me since getting here,” I find myself saying. “I’m constantly behind and always overwhelmed, and I’m not looking for anything serious right now. Or exclusive. I don’t want Oliver to think tonight means more than it does.”
Understanding dawns in her eyes, followed by disappointment. “Are you saying you don’t actually like my brother?”
“No! I mean, I do like him. He’s great. It’s just…”
“Just what?” Her voice has an edge now. “Because from where I’m standing, it looks like you agreed to go to this ball with him, let him plan matching costumes, and now you’re telling me it doesn’t mean anything?”
“That’s not what I said.”
“You don’t have to explain yourself to me.” Her voice is cooler now, protective of her brother. “Just be honest with him, okay? He deserves that much.”
“I know.” The words come out small and pathetic. “I will.”
“Good.” She stands, clearly ready to move past this uncomfortable moment. “Now get dressed. We’re already running late.”
I shrug off my robe and step into the Persephone gown, the silk whispering against my skin as it settles. The gradient from white to black feels like a mockery—as if the costume knows I’m caught between truth and lies. Between the girl I’m pretending to be and the one I really am.
Evie’s fingers are efficient on the zipper as she helps me get into the dress, her earlier warmth not quite returning.
“Evie, I’m sorry,” I tell her, unsure what more to say.
“It’s fine,” she says, but it clearly isn’t. “He just really likes you. Either give him a real chance or cut him loose. It’s not fair otherwise.”
“I know.” The admission burns in my throat as I put on my shoes. “You’re right. I will.”
“Thanks.” She steps back, assessing my appearance. “For what it’s worth, you look beautiful, even if you’re being an idiot about this whole thing.”
Despite everything, a small laugh escapes me. “Thanks. I think.”
“Now, are you ready?” she asks, her hand on the door.
“As ready as I’ll ever be.”
Which is to say, not ready at all.
JADE
