“Dad…” Noah groaned, his cheeks flushing.
“Yeah, yeah.” Aidan waved his hand. “TMI. Isn’t that what the kids say nowadays?”
“It sure is, Mr. B,” Lulu chirped, then sucked loudly on his straw, sending shivers racing down Xavi’s spine. Then Xavi felt Aidan’s eyes on him.
“I hear you’re doing a fine job with the kids in Riverside. A damn fine job, according to Father O’Reilly. Keeping those kids outta trouble. Teaching them real, valuable life lessons.”
Xavi swallowed, pride surging through him. He didn’t know Noah’s father knew what he did, where he worked.
“Thank you, sir. I love teaching those kids. They remind me of myself when I was that age, desperate for direction, sir.”
“Aidan, please,” Noah’s father smiled, then seemed to mull something over in his head. His gaze drifted to Xavi’s hand, then a shadow moved across the older man’s face, and something clicked inside Xavi, like that final puzzle piece that’s been hiding away under a couch cushion for too long.
“You’re…” Xavi licked his lips. “You’re that firefighter. From that… night.”
Aidan nodded, his eyes connecting with Xavi’s. It had been nearly twenty-four years since that night, but Xavi could still feel the heat in his lungs, the fire licking at his skin, and the smoke stinging his eyes. He could still feel the pain surging through his fingers as he’d held onto his dad, clinging desperately to his shirt, before strong arms had wrapped around Xavi from behind while he’d screamed and screamed and screamed.‘Papi! Papi! No!’Then a giant had carried him out of the orange-red inferno while he’d still screamed, trying to fight his way out of the firefighter’s solid hold, trying to fight his way back to his father and to a life he knew was lost for good. Then a pair of piercingly blue eyes had stared into his just like they were right now, accompanied by that deep, soothing voice.‘You’re okay, kid. You’ll be okay. Look at me. Look at me. You’re gonna be fine.’
“It’s you,” Xavi whispered. Aidan nodded as his eyes turned a darker shade of blue, filling with sympathy and painful memories. How many people had Noah’s father witnessed succumbing to the flames over the years? How many people had he held in his arms while they cried out in terror for their loved ones? “You’re the one whosavedme.” Because Xaviwassaved that night. He was. In all those years, Xavi had focused on the immense loss he’d suffered. How it had changed his life. But it wasn’t until now, looking into the eyes of Noah’s father, standing next to Lulu, that Xavi realized he’d been saved. And that he was grateful, so immensely grateful, that he’d survived.
“I am. And you’re him,” the older man smiled. “You’re the kid who came out of the fire. But you’re a man now.”
“I am,” Xavi exhaled, feeling Lulu’s hand wrapping around him, tightening around the back of his neck. “I am.”
Aidan’s eyes dropped to where Lulu’s hand rested around his neck.
“I’m sure your father would’ve been as proud of you as I am of Noah.” Then Aidan’s gaze drifted to Joe. “And as proud as Joe’s father would’ve been of him.”
At that moment, Xavi’s heart broke for Joe and Lulu. So many absent fathers. So much loss. So much pain. Wrapping his arm around Lulu’s waist, Xavi pulled him close against his side, then pressed a gentle kiss against Lulu’s temple.
Lifting his glass in a salute, Aidan’s eyes connected with Xavi’s. “Good for you, son. Good for you.” Then he paused, his gaze trailing around the group of young men. “Here’s to absent fathers and present sons.” They all raised their glasses, then Joe locked eyes with Noah’s dad, then Monroe.
“And to present fathers and absent sons, too. To Jeremy,” Joe smiled wistfully, and Monroe nodded solemnly, then rasped a deep-felt, “Thank you, Joe.” Jeremy was Monroe’s only son and had been killed in a suicide bombing in Libya when he was only twenty-two. It was no secret that Monroe had long since adopted Joe in his heart.
They stood around after that, catching up, and once Joe and Noah were pulled out on a makeshift dance floor by Maeve, and Monroe had gone off to dance with his wife, Debra, it was only Noah’s father, Lulu, and Xavi.
“You see, Xavi,” the older man said, swirling his drink around the glass. “Fire gives us life, but it takes from us, too. It took something from you that night, son, but it looks like you gained something in return.”
“What?” Xavi asked, his scars itching with the memory of the pain from that night and all the nights after that.
“That’s not for me to say, but if you search your heart, I think you’ll find the answer to that.”
“Courage,” Lulu breathed, then looked at Xavi. “You gained courage,mano. You’re the bravest man I know.”
Xavi nodded as he contemplated Lulu’s words. He’d never felt courageous, but perhaps he was. Perhaps courage had been Xavi’s father’s last gift to him. Not only the courage to forge through the pain which followed in the wake of his father’s death, but also to be true to who he was and be brave enough to strive toward what he wanted in life. Yes, perhaps it was so, and perhaps now, finally, Xavi could make peace with his past and embrace his future.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Xavi
“Istill can’t believe Joe’s now a married man.” Lulu nuzzled his nose against Xavi’s neck, then dipped out his tongue and licked his skin.
Xavi squirmed, then leaned in for more. “Yeah, it’s wild, isn’t it? Buffalo’s most notorious party boy.”
“Hey! That’s me,oso.”
“The fuck it is,” Xavi hummed, pulling Lulu closer against his side. “Your partying days are over,mano. I’ll have you locked down, barefoot, and attached to my cock every Saturday night from now on.”
“Promise?” Lulu squealed, scooting even closer on the king-size bed, like he wanted to disappear inside Xavi and live there forever.
