“I don’t… I’m not…”
“I do,” Lulu panted into his mouth. “In my toiletry bag. In the bathroom.” Fuck, Lulu had come prepared. A thousand scenarios suddenly swept through Xavi’s scattered brain. Had Lulu been planning on fucking someone on the trip? Had he already? Xavi couldn’t see how Lulu could have, since they’d been together the entire time, and still…
“Stop,” Lulu laughed against his lips. “Whatever that brain of yours is concocting right now, just stop. I brought them for us, for you—andonlyfor you—you silly bear.”
“You did?”
“Of course.” A teasing smile spread across Lulu’s face, but his voice was layered with vulnerability when he spoke. “Contrary to what you might think, I don’t fuck around anymore.”Anymore.The image of Lulu with another man, some nameless, facelesscabróntaking what was Xavi’s, what hadalwaysbeen his, surged through him, and before he knew what he was doing, he pushed Lulu off him and sprang from the bed.
“Oye!Where are you going?”
Stopping in the middle of the small room, Xavi turned around, his eyes trailing along Lulu’s naked form. He looked so stunning, his slender limbs splayed across the sheets like an exotic starfish, his curls dark against the white pillowcase, his mouth slightly agape, his long length erect against his stomach. The small turquoisestone in the bellybutton piercing that Lulu had gotten when he was sixteen glinted at Xavi, like a beacon leading a lost ship safely to shore.
Finding his voice, Xavi said, “I’m gonna go raid your toiletry bag, and then I’m gonna do something I should’ve done ages ago.”
Lulu’s chest heaved, his nipples pink and pointy against his olive skin, his cockhead glistening with precum.
“What?” He squirmed on the bed. “What are you gonna do,amor?”
An unparalleled sense of power coursed through Xavi. There he was, hiscisne, blindfolded and naked, offering himself to Xavi. Sucking in a breath, Xavi swallowed down every last bit of doubt andwhat-ifs.
“I’m gonna fuck you until you come on my cock,cisne, screaming my name. Then I’m gonna fuck you again. I’ll fuck you so hard and good you’ll never be able to leave this bed, this room again.” He had no idea where the words were coming from, but they kept falling, uninhibited, from his lips. A keening sound left Lulu’s mouth as his hips shot from the bed.
“Like you own me?” Lulu cried out as his hand wrapped around his beautiful cock.
“There’ll be nothing ‘like’ about it. Idoown you,cisne, don’t I?”
Lulu nodded furiously, his hand stroking his cock violently.
“Say it. Say it, Lulu.”
“You own me,oso. You always have. You own every part of me.” The words felt like a soothing balm, mending every broken part of Xavi from the inside out. The thing was, he believed them. Each and every one of them. For the first time in his life, he believed that there could be a world where Lulu belonged to him, only him, and he belonged to Lulu too. Even outside this strange bubble, this trip had become. That their love—because it was love, he knew that now—could survive even after this trip ended.
Because all this time he’d assumed that his love was unrequited when it was clearly not. Lulu loved him, not just in a platonic or brotherly way, no, but in a romantic way, too, a carnal one. In this moment, in this quaint room in rural Nebraska with mismatched furniture surrounding them and the snow falling steadily outside, Lulu loved him.
“Do I?” Xavi asked, hope and a strange possessiveness blooming in his chest.
“Yes,” Lulu whimpered.
“Then why the fuck are you still touching yourself,cisne? That cock ismine.”
Like magic, Lulu’s hand fell from his length, dropping to the bed instead, where it curled around the sheets, twisting them into a knot in his hand.
Satisfied that Lulu would do as he was told, Xavi nearly sprinted into the bathroom, then tore through Lulu’s over-dimensional toiletry bag, eventually finding a small bottle of lube and a string of condoms in a side pocket. Glimpsing himselfin the mirror, Xavi’s eyes stared back at him, filled with lust and a wildness he’d never seen before. He’d wanted and wanted and wanted all his life, but he’d never taken anything for himself. His gaze dipped to the jagged scars running down his left shoulder, zigzagging across his chest. Lulu had kissed those scars. He’d licked them. He hadnotbeen repulsed by them. Sure, he’d been blindfolded, but Xavi realized now that it had been for his benefit and not for Lulu’s. Lulu had always seen him, even through layers of clothes. As much as Xavi had tried to hide from him, Lulu had always seen him and apparently wanted him.
Rubbing his thumb along the silvery packet, Xavi’s cock stirred, his balls resting heavily between his thighs. There were so many reasons why this was a bad idea—the worst in the history of mankind, perhaps—but at the forefront of Xavi’s mind, there was one reason it needed to happen, and it wiped out all his doubts.I love him. I will never not love him. He. Is. Mine.
With determined steps, Xavi strode toward the bed and sat down on the edge. Reaching for Lulu’s hand, untwisting it from the sheets, Xavi pressed the lube and a condom into Lulu’s hand, then wrapped his own hand around Lulu’s.
“Now you have my life, my future, and my heart in your hands,cisne. Do with them what you will. I am yours.”
Sitting up, Lulu’s lips were so close to his that Xavi could taste the words on his tongue when he spoke. “I will only ever do right by you, lover. I promise.” Nodding, Xavi leaned in and kissed Lulu’s forehead, the tip of his nose, and then finally his lips.
“Then show me. Show me what to do. Show me how to love you.”
A strange boldness grew inside him, and before Xavi realized what he was doing, his hands reached behind Lulu’s head. Brushing along the carefully tied double knot, Xavi sucked in a breath. He could do this. He wanted to. He’d thought there would be comfort in Lulu being blindfolded, and there had been—at first. But now it just felt…wrong. Because if he was going to make love to Lulu, he wanted to look into his beautiful almond eyes when he did. He wanted to see the fire burning in those eyes and how Lulu’s lashes would flutter with want when Xavi entered his body. He wanted to drown in them while they slowly became one. One body, one heart, one soul.
He could tell Lulu was holding his breath as he slowly untied the knot.
