“I hope so too.” Xavi continued to brush his thumb along Lulu’s chin as a subtle reminder that he was there, that he would always be there, and Lulu realized it was true. If not as lovers, then as friends. Xavi would always be his friend. “I think she thought she’d make things better by leaving you and Manu. That you were better off without her.”
“Yeah, I think so too.” He did. He didn’t resent his mother for leaving; he never had. He realized she’d probably hoped they’d be better off without her, and that her act wasn’t a selfish one, but a desperate one, but she had, in fact, made it worse by leaving. A lot worse. “Maybe… maybe someday I’ll look her up.” He didn’t say it to appease Xavi. He said it because he meant it. For the first time in his life, Lulu meant it. “Who knows, maybe I have other siblings or a nice stepdaddy?” He winked at Xavi, who just shook his head in return, a warmth pooling in his beautifully dark eyes which spread to Lulu’s body. Suddenly, his skin tingled and burned where Xavi was touching it. Thinking about his mother had left Lulu raw and exposed, and he needed to feel safe again, sheltered, and only one person in this entire world could give him that.
Leaning in, he brushed his lips against Xavi’s earlobe, which stuck out from under his woolen hat.
“Take me back to our little shelter,oso. Strip me bare and do those things to me with your mouth, your hands, your tongue that you do so well.” Xavi’s pulse throbbed against his tongue, and Lulu felt his arousal like a small buzz against his lips. “Make me come undone,oso. Make me forget everything.”Make me forget I was once unwanted.
Xavi swallowed audibly, then a small growl tore from his lips as he smashed his mouth against Lulu’s. Once again, Lulu’s world righted itself, as the painful memories of his mother faded back into the past where they belonged. Letting go, surrendering to Xavi’s hard, demanding kiss, Lulu focused on the only thing that mattered, that would ever matter: how right it felt, how righthefelt, when he was in Xavi’s arms, their mouths locked together, their bodies surging toward each other with uninhibited desire.
Lulu’s fingers teased the hem of Xavi’s T-shirt, just barely grazing the naked patch of skin above the waistline of Xavi’s jeans. He felt his lover tremble beneath him, and he could tell Xavi was holding his breath.
“I want to touch you.” He rubbed his thumb across the button in Xavi’s jeans.
“Lulu…” Xavi’s voice came out clipped, his chest broad and tense underneath his T-shirt.
“Please,oso. Please let me touch you.” Lulu moved his hand upward, letting his fingers dive underneath the T-shirt, brushing along the fine hair covering Xavi’s stomach. His muscles were bulky and not carved out of granite like some guys, and Lulu’s mouth watered at the thought of how Xavi’s stomach would feel against his tongue, how he would taste. “It’s only me.”
Xavi’s body tensed, and a hand wrapped around Lulu’s wrist, bringing his hand back on top of the T-shirt.
“I can’t.” Xavi stared out in front of him, his thick lips nothing but a grim line through his face, his eyes swimming with sadness. “It’s not that I don’t want to,cisne, it’s just…” Xavi winced as he tangled his fingers through Lulu’s, squeezing them carefully. “It’s one thing with a broken hand. But, Lulu, you have no idea…” Fuck, the brokenness in Xavi’s voice was almost unbearable. The way he saw himself, spoke about himself, when all Lulu had ever seen was beauty. And kindness. And someone who was so indisputably everything Lulu had ever longed for. If only there were a way…
“I’ll close my eyes.”
Xavi froze under him.
“Don’t you trust me,mano?”
“Of course, I trust you. It’s not a matter of trusting you. I trust you with my life,mano. It’s just…”
“Close your eyes, then. I’ll close mine, too.”
Xavi regarded him doubtfully, and then an idea hit Lulu out of nowhere. What if he could make Xavi feel safe while still being able to touch him?
“Blindfold me,” he blurted.
“Huh?”
“Blindfold me.”
“Blindfold you?” There was an incredulous edge in Xavi’s voice.
“Yes. Then you won’t have to worry that I’ll open my eyes.”
“I don’t think—”
“Trust me. Let me touch you. Let me…”Love you.Fuck, the words were right there on the tip of his tongue, but Lulu knew that once he spoke them, he, too, would be naked, exposed. Then again, they’d already passed the point of no return. Bracing himself, he squeezed Xavi’s hand.
“If you let me, I’ll show you just how beautiful you are. To me.” Leaning down, he pressed a soft kiss against Xavi’s stomach. “How fucking sexy,oso.” Sucking the cotton fabric into his mouth, a moan escaped Lulu’s lips, as the scent of his lover engulfed him. Xavi was everywhere, shivering beneath him, his body so hot and hard.
“Okay,” Xavi gasped. “Okay.”
Lulu sat up, unsure if his mind was playing cruel tricks on him.
“Yeah?” His eyes found Xavi’s, dark and spilling over with want. Xavi blinked, then licked his lips.
“Yes. If you wear a blindfold.” Vulnerability washed over Xavi’s face. “But…”
“But if it’s too much, I’ll stop.”
