Mike pulls me closer and kisses the top of my hooded head. “You do what you gotta do, baby.”
I appreciate his support, but I notice the sadness in his voice. I’m sure this bothers him because it fucking bothers me. Fuck, why did I have to lose my job? Why did that kid have to run off?
I want to discuss these things with Mike and see how he feels about it, but I hold back. Everything’s so new between us, and I’m afraid he’ll tell me he can’t do it. That he can’t be with me while I’m gone for so long. It’ll be hard to commute only on the weekends. Maybe if we don’t talk about it, we can tough it out until the program is completed in a few months.
Fuck. I’m gettingwayahead of myself. I haven’t even gotten the job yet. Another good reason not to deal with it yet. We can talk if I get the job.
Mike tosses the ball for Willow again and turns me to face him. He cups my cheeks with his cold hands. “Your goals are important, baby,” is all he says before pressing a small kiss to my lips.
“Thanks, Mike.”
Thanks for always supporting me and being there for me, I think, but don’t say the words.
I slide my hands inside his partially unzipped hoodie and rest my head against his chest. His strong arms wrap around me protectively, and he rests his chin on my head.
“I love you,” I say, but for some reason, a knot forms in my stomach from an irrational fear that he suddenly doesn’t feel the same. It’s stupid, I know, but it’s there, nonetheless.
“I love you, too, Den.”
I look up at him and waggle my brows, though the nerves still tug at my gut. “Wanna fool around?”
He finally gives me a real smile that brightens his entire face. “Yeah, I do.”
It took me nearly two hours to get to Hillsboro, a reminder of my long commute. It could’ve been worse, though. I applied to a program near Crater Lake, which would’ve taken me six hours away from Mike. I probably would’ve had to leave Cannon Beach altogether. But no one called me about the job, so I chalked it up as a loss.
When I arrive at the school, I’m greeted by Esme Alexander, the school’s director, who appears to be in her thirties. She’s tall, slender, and her brown hair is cut into a pixie.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Dennis.”
“Thank you so much for having me,” I say, shaking her hand.
She leads me to a small, cramped office, and I take a seat across from her desk. “As we mentioned on the phone, we’re looking for a Field Instructor. This is mostly for our Meriweather camp, located in Cloverdale.”
“Nice, I’m partial to the coast myself since I’ve spent my entire life in Cannon Beach.” And Cloverdale is only an hour and a half away. Still, this overnight thing is mandatory.
“We’re an all-inclusive program and encourage diversity,” she continues.
“I love that. I think all kids should have a chance at enrichment and education.”
She beams at me. “Exactly. We strive to promote a sense of community and a love of nature.”
“Sounds right up my alley and exactly why I majored in environmental education.”
She smiles again and hands me a file. “These are the job duties and requirements for the Field Instructor. You’ll need to be able to train and mentor high school and college volunteers to teach the children in our program. You’ll also be responsible for developing lesson plans for the counselors and teachers. You would also be teaching elementary students, motivating them, and encouraging them about the importance of our environment.”
I go on to explain my love of nature, how I grew up with it, and what my future plans are with my own program, which isn’t dissimilar to this one, so it would be a perfect hands-on experience for me. Fuck, I’m excited about this job.
“Even though the job is temporary, we really need someone highly motivated and committed. As I mentioned on the phone, you’ll have to stay during the workweek. You’ll have free room and board. But the program starts very early in the morning, and we need you to be hands-on day and night.”
I nod vigorously. “Yes, that won’t be a problem.” I hope it won’t, but my gut tells me this could affect my relationship with Mike. My only consolation is that it’s temporary.
However, my biggest worry is not getting this job because of losing my last one, and the reasons behind it. I also fear that it’s the reason I haven’t been hired by anyone yet. I royally fucked up that day by losing that kid. Not only did I lose him, but he was injured, too. It’s really hindered my ability to find work. I just hope it’ll be different with this program.
I have no choice but to tell her what happened. “I know I made a huge mistake that day. He just slipped away, and we didn’t even notice. I’m grateful he wasn’t more severely injured, but every day I wish I could go back and do things differently. Believe me when I tell you, lesson learned. I’ll never make that mistake again. You can trust me. I’m a hardworker, responsible, and dependable. I go into things with everything I have. You have my word that I’ll do this job to the best of my abilities.”
Esme stands and shakes my hand. “We’ll definitely take that into consideration, Dennis. You seem to really know your stuff, and you’re very personable and friendly, which the kids need. There are other candidates we’re looking at, but you’ll definitely hear from us one way or the other in the next week or so.”
“Thank you so much for talking with me and listening. I’m really excited about this job, and I hope you give me a chance.”
