“Luke,” Cody says softly next to me. “It’s okay, Luke.” A tentative smile curls at the left corner of his mouth, and it instantly calms me down. He’s smiling. Cody’s smiling and although it doesn’t reach his eyes, I find relief dwelling in two pools of gray.
“Cody isnotbeing traded,” Coach continues. “Are you outta your damn mind, kid? No way. He’s one of the top three goalies in the league right now. We ain’t tradin’ him.” Relief courses through my chest. I trust Coach Bassey. Always have. He’s never given me any reason not to.
“Top three goalies?” I repeat lamely, with what’s probably a goofy-ass expression on my face when I look at Cody. He just shakes his head at me, biting back a smile. I mean, to me, he’s the best, of course he is, but to hear Coach put it like this. I don’t know, it just makes it real somehow. That Cody truly is in a league of his own. And he’s only twenty-three. Just imagine where he can take it.
“I already talked to management. We’re getting close to the end of the season and there’s no reason to make any major changes at this point. When McKinney’s back, Cody will be ready to start practicing. We’ll have three goalies then and will be able to give Cody a slow and careful comeback.” He nods at Cody, a softness in his eyes that I never thought I’d witness in Coach Bassey’s eyes. “We can always pull an extra goalie up from AHL if we need it when the season starts, and Cody is not 100%.”
“I already talked to Coach about supervising the goalie training regime while I’m out,” Cody says, and I can hear the edge of relief in his voice. Of happiness, too. “To keep me motivated,” he adds. “Coach says it’ll be good for my mental well-being that I still feel like I’m part of the team.” Shit, I want to drop to my knees right this minute and just worship Coach.
For perhaps the first time in my life, I find myself dumbfounded.
“You thought of everything,” I croak, my eyes meeting Coach’s, and I hope he can hear the utter gratitude in my voice. Tears press behind my eyes, and I swallow, trying to push them back. At least, for now.
“That’s my job, kid. That’s why they pay me the big bucks,” he smirks. “Your job is to finish the season on the ice and not in the penalty box. To keep playing the way you’ve been playing so far. Like a goddamn winner.” He pauses, looking at Cody. “And to keep our boy positive, healthy, and motivated. All right? Are we clear, Carrington?”
“Yes. Crystal, Coach. Thank you, sir,” I mumble, my tongue heavy in my mouth.
“Anytime, kid. Anytime.” Cody clears his throat next to me, his eyes searching mine. There’s a silent question in his eyes, a question that’s also been on my mind ever since that night in the hospital. How much did Coach notice? How much does he know? I shrug at Cody, mouthing,it’s your call, baby.Cody tips his chin at me, love and pride flashing through his eyes as his cheeks grow a shade pinker. Then he licks his lips.
“Okay. So… there’s something else we need to talk about,” Cody says tentatively, twisting his hands in his lap.
“What is it, kid?” Coach tilts his head as he leans back in his chair.
“That…” Cody hesitates, shifting next to me.
“That we’re together,” I say.
“Oh, that?” Coach hums. “Yeah, you’re right. If it’s serious…” he looks between Cody and me, his fingers tapping against his desk. “Is it serious, boys?”
“It is!” we both blurt at the same time, Cody laughing, relief clear in his voice.
“Yeah? Kinda thought so, too,” Coach says, leaning back, the chair complaining beneath him. Folding his arms in front of his chest, he continues, “So, you need to inform management. And decide if you want to go public or keep it under the radar for now. In any case, management needs to know in case the media catches on. They need to have a game plan ready.” The small office goes eerily quiet after Coach’s words. I search Cody’s face,but there’s no shred of fear or panic. He looks almost serene as he smiles at me.
“It’s up to you, baby,” I swallow, completely forgetting myself and that we’re not alone.
“I think the team oughta know too,” Cody says. “I mean, they probably already put two and two together, but I think they oughta know. Officially.”
“I agree,” I nod. “I don’t want them to feel blindsided if—when—the press catches on. Besides, I don’t want to hide. Do you?” Cody shakes his head, his blond locks sweeping through the air, and I catch his familiar scent.
“No,” he smiles. “I don’t either.” Time seems to expand as I share a look with Cody that entails so much, but that can be summed up withI love you andwe’re in this together.
Coach clears his voice, pulling us out of our love-induced haze. Clasping his hands together, he booms, “That’s settled, then! I’ll inform management and you kids can tell the team on your own time. Now, get the hell outta my office,” he winks. “I’ve got work to do and you kids are just too damn cute and sugary for my taste. I’ll end up with a case of diabetes if I’m not careful.”
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Cody
“Motherfucking fuck balls!” I’mso over this brace. All I want to do is burn it, run it through the garbage disposal, and then burn it again. Half the counter and some of the floor are smeared in peach yogurt, along with the front of my sweats, and the nauseatingly sweet smell fills the kitchen. As much as I love yogurt, I prefer it in a bowl, and this is not the first time that I’ve had a post-op kitchen incident, as Luke calls them.
“You good, baby?” Luke yells from the bathroom. I can’t help smiling. He’s shaving. For me. Well, I more or less forced him to. As much as I found his post-op lumberjack look cute, I want my smooth, baby-faced boyfriend back. So, since the season’s now over and Luke is all mine, I sent my man shaving.My man.
“Yeah, I’m good,” I shout back, limping towards the cabinets above the counter to find a cloth. Shit, I have a boyfriend. Mostdays, I still need to pinch myself. I have a boyfriend. And not just any boyfriend. I have Luke. The most amazingly caring and selfless guy ever. And if we take my stupid knee and my rollercoaster mood out of the equation, everything is just so goddamn easy. So effortless between us. He gets me and he’s so unbelievably open and honest with me. Because he knows I need it. That I need to know what he thinks and how he feels—because otherwise, I’ll just make shit up in my mind. Like that it won’t last. That I’m not worth it. That he’ll realize he wants a sexual relationship after all. That he can do better. So much better. Because he’s Luke fucking Carrington and I’m just… me.
‘Time to shut it down,’he whispers against my forehead every night when we lie next to each other, and the room is dark and quiet. The quiet is my sworn enemy. Always has been. Because when it’s quiet, that voice in my head that I dread so much grows louder. For a while, it seemed to be less insistent. Luke’s love for me made it less insistent. But the injury has made it show its ugly head again, trying to pull me back over to the dark side where I’ll always be a fuckup and alone.
‘Goodnight, brain,’he chuckled against my neck last night when I’d had a particularly bad day imagining all kinds of apocalyptic scenarios that all amounted to Luke leaving my sorry ass and the team booting me. ‘Time to leave Cody alone and give him some peace.’
‘What are you doing?’I asked him not so long ago when he started this pre-bed ritual.
