“I’m okay,” I say, holding my breath. Slowly, he brings his thumb to his lips and before I can stop my jaw from dropping to the sandy ground, he sucks it into his mouth. His thumb. Not my jaw, obviously. That would be kind of weird. And strangely hot, too. A whine spills from my lips, intermingling with Mitch’s low hum, and I want nothing more than to jump into his arms, wrap my skinny-ass legs around his waist, and just bury my face in his neck. Climb him like a motherfucking redwood. Live there forever and ever with the squirrels until I forget my name and all my past trespasses.
Pulling his thumb from his mouth with a pop, Mitch’s cheeks flush first a bright pink before it spills over into a full-blown crimson red. His eyes are glazed over and there’s no mistaking the sentiment lingering in the two pools of blue.Lust.Pure, unfiltered lust. Mitch wants me. Hewants me,wants me. Like a man wants another man. The same way that I want him. And as forbidden as it is and as wrong as it should feel, my stupid heart and my stupid dick are already plotting to take over my brain and my moral compass. I can feel it brewing inside me. I can—
“We better go,” Mitch croaks, his eyes looking to the ground. “Cal’s waiting for us,” he mumbles. Shit. “You okay?” he repeats softly.
“Yeah, I’m good,” I lie. I lie like my life fucking depends upon it because I’m so not okay. I’m confused. And flushed. And horny. “I’m fine,” I say, my shorts on fire by now and I can’t tell if it’s because of the lies I’m telling or from my dick thinking it’s a volcano.
“Cool,” Mitch nods, also lying through his teeth because nothing is cool. Because lusting after your ex-stepdad—your married ex-stepdad—who looks like he wants to throw you over his shoulder right now, is so not cool. It might be in those cheesy romance novels that you can pick up at the airport, but in real life, it’s just truly fucked up. I’m so screwed.
Chapter Fourteen
Mitch
“What’s up, sweetheart?” I come up behind Cal, wrapping my arms around him, his chest vibrating beneath my fingers. We got back from the cabin a little over an hour ago and while I’ve been unpacking and putting stuff away, Cal’s been staring out into the dusk from our deck.
“I don’t know,” he murmurs, freezing in my arms. He’s hardly spoken two words since we dropped Ty off at his apartment in Pasadena.
“I think you do know, Cal,” I speak softly, burying my face against the nape of his neck, breathing him in. This is thescent of love. Of everything I hold dear in life. Well, almost everything…
“Doesn’t…” he hesitates, taking a step forward, then another, pulling away from me. As I’m about to reel him in again, he turns around, despair in his eyes. And shame. Cal looks shameful.
“What, sweetheart?” I ask tentatively.
“Isn’t it strangely quiet without him?” he says, his gaze dropping to the wooden deck, a defeated slump to his shoulders. My poor love.
“It is,” I agree, keeping the distance between us. Not because I want it, but because I think Cal needs it. I chuckle. “Weird how you suddenly get used to the kid, isn’t it?” I offer. Cal nods as he continues to stare holes into the wooden deck. “But it’s not just about that, is it, sweetheart?” He looks up quickly, his hazel eyes two pools of regret.
“No,” he whispers as two fat tears make their way down his sun-kissed cheeks before they disappear into his beard. “I…” he brushes his hands through his blond strands, shaking his head. “I never saw it coming, M. I never in a million years expected something…someonelike him.”
“Of course you didn’t. I didn’t either,” I admit.
“You didn’t?” he asks helplessly, like a small child.
“Of course not. The kid used to call meDad,for Pete’s sake, and now I want nothing more than to—” I catch myself mid-sentence, my heart chasing its next beat in my chest. “Now I want nothing more than to go get him and keep him with us and never let him fucking go again.”
“You do?” Cal whispers, his hands still buried in his hair. I nod, feeling the truth of my words reverberate through my body.I do.
“I do,” I say, and those two words are the truest I’ve ever spoken since I gave them to Cal at our wedding a few years ago. “I want that too, sweetheart,” I whisper and before the finalsyllables have left my mouth, my husband leaps into my arms with a sigh.
“You don’t hate me?” he croaks against my skin, shivering in my arms. This man. This beautiful, beautiful man who’s given me the life I always wanted.
“Never.” I kiss the word into his neck. “Never in a million years, my love.”
“Oh, thank God,” he exhales. “Thank God, M. I wouldn’t be able to bear it if you did.” He relaxes in my arms while I murmur incoherent phrases of reassurance into the darkness. After a while, he pulls away from me, tears still clinging to his light brown eyelashes. “What are we gonna do?” He sucks his bottom lip into his mouth as he searches my face.
“I want to tell him,” I admit while Cal nods, blurting, “I want that too!”
“I think he already knows,” I say, leaning in to kiss Cal’s cheeks. He tastes salty. Vulnerable. “I think he feels the same.”
“Yeah?” Cal’s voice is tinted with hope, his eyes almost a deep brown now.
“Yeah, but we have to be careful with him. He might not trust us. Believe us,” I add.
“We’ll make sure that he does,” Cal smiles, a newfound certainty in his voice. “We’ll love him so much that he’ll never doubt again for one second that he’s… that he’severything.”
Love. My heart nearly explodes in my chest. Cal just re-defined that small word to include not just the two of us, but Ty, too.
“You love him?” I rasp, searching my husband’s face.
