AS SOON ASthe door to the diner had closed behind Colton, it swung open again, almost hitting the front of the building in the process. As he came to a stop, he heard steps coming in his direction.
“Hey Colton, wait up,” someone yelled behind him. He turned around and looked into a pair of sky-blue eyes. Henry was standing so close to him that Colton felt his breath on his left cheek. He could smell coffee but also something sweet, perhaps cinnamon. Colton almost felt inclined to close his eyes, giving in to the sugary smell, but he looked over Henry’s shoulder instead at the sun-bleached awning hanging from the front of the brick building.
“I’ll walk with you.” The gentle voice of the younger man made Colton direct his gaze back at him. A hesitant smile covered Henry’s face and freckles lay sprinkled across the back of his nose and his cheeks, reminding Colton of summers spent in the corn fields behind his childhood home. The smile was genuine, reaching all the way up to his blue eyes, and it almost made Colton feel like a piece of shit if he were to say no. So instead, he gave a curt nod in agreement.
As Colton started to walk in the direction of the auto shop, Henry went along beside him, his right arm just briefly brushing against Colton’s left thigh. It felt like an electric current went through him even if the touch had lasted no more than a second or two. Colton’s heart skipped a beat and he suddenly found himself struggling to focus.
“Can I ask you something?” Henry began out of nowhere before Colton could begin to analyze what was happening inside him. Why he was suddenly feeling like his entire world had been tipped on its axis from a simple and probably unintended touch. “I mean, you don’t have to answer or anything, I won’t get offended…”
Unsure what to say, Colton stopped in the middle of the main street which was more or less empty this time of day. He looked directly into Henry’s eyes.
“What is it you want to know?” He asked while clenching his fists at his sides. Colton hadn’t meant to come off so harsh, since Henry had been nothing but friendly and forthcoming ever since they’d met earlier this morning. However, Colton suddenly felt uncertain. He didn’t know what to expect and the frankness of the younger man left him with a strange sensation in his stomach.
“It’s just this morning in the clinic, I got a feeling that you didn’t know that Hank is gay. I mean, I thought you knew. I’m not about outing other people’s sexuality and I feel so bad that I just assumed that you knew.” Colton could sense the nervousness coming off Henry as he continued. “I mean, I wouldn’t appreciate it if I was outed against my will, but since I’ve been out most of my adult life and don’t really care what people think, it’s never been an issue I’ve had to deal with.” Henry finally paused, a deep exhale escaping from his full, pink lips. He looked at Colton as if expecting some sort of reply.
“I didn’t know. I haven’t seen Hank since I was five or six. So, I couldn’t know really. Well, I mean, I heard the rumors growing up. That Hank was… You know that he was living with another guy. Sometimes my high school buddies would joke about it, but I never really paid much attention. Just figured it was small town stuff, you know.” Colton shuffled his boots at some autumn leaves on the pavement. He feared that if he kept eye contact with Henry, he’d do something impulsive or perhaps even reckless. He didn’t know why he got that feeling, but there was something about the openness and the genuine friendliness of the other man that made Colton feel unsure of almost everything.
Henry’s frankness and the self-assertiveness with which he carried himself stunned him. Henry seemed so certain of who he was and of his place in the world. Unapologetic. Colton had never used that word before to describe another human being but that’s what Henry was. Unapologetic. He’d never met anyone like Henry before. Colton wasn’t sure what to make of it and of the feelings which this acknowledgment stirred inside him, but he wasn’t sure that he disliked it. Sure, it felt a bit unsettling, but he didn’t exactly hate the feeling.
“Look, I just wanted to make it clear that I’m sorry if I overstepped this morning. It wasn’t my intention.” Henry interrupted his thoughts.
“No harm done,” Colton said, and he realized that he meant it. He didn’t get the impression that Henry was anything else than sincere in his apology. “From what I understand, it wasn’t a big secret anyway. Hank never was much for keeping up appearances,” Colton quickly met the younger man’s eyes, then his gaze settled back on the few inches of pavement between them.
Henry shifted from one hiking boot to the other and seemed to want to say something else. But then he nodded, that uninhibited smile on his face and began crossing the street towards the clinic. Colton stared at his slim figure. The narrow waist and the slender legs. A slight bounce in his step. The fall wind catching a few strands of his blond hair, sending a faint smell of citrus in Colton’s direction.
It was when Henry reached the grey door of the veterinary clinic that Colton heard the deafening gun shot and dropped to his knees.
CHAPTER TEN
Henry
HENRY HAD JUSTreached for his keys when he heard the car backfire. The sound had been rather loud, and the glass in the old windows had rattled momentarily. He automatically turned around in the direction of the bang and the first thing he registered was that Colton was hunched over in a seated position in the middle of the street. In fact, he was kneeling and seemed to be covering his head in his arms. Henry hurried towards him and kneeled in front of him. As he grabbed on to Colton’s upper arms, he realized that something was completely off.
“Colton, are you okay?” Henry spoke in a firm, yet gentle voice.
When Colton didn’t react, he raised his voice an octave. “Colton, look at me. Are you okay?”
Colton’s breath hitched as he seemed to be struggling for air. For a moment, Henry was afraid that he was having a heart attack.
“Colton, can you please look at me? Are you in pain?” The body of the crouching man continued to shake beneath Henry’s fingers, and he had a feeling that Colton was either in acute pain or having some sort of anxiety attack. He’d witnessed these attacks quite a few times before and recognized the symptoms. His college roommate had suffered from generalized anxiety and had gone through a few attacks while they shared a dorm room.
“Colton, can you try to breathe for me, please? C’mon, I know you are scared but I’m right here. I’m going to help you.”
Colton looked up at Henry, panic clearly visible in his eyes. Progress, at least, Henry thought to himself.
“That’s good. Really good,” he encouraged, Colton struggling for air like a fish caught in a net. “Now you’re going to have to breathe with me.” Colton complied, fear painted all over his face. “That’s it. You’re doing great.”
At Henry’s words of reassurance, tears began to appear in the corners of Colton’s hazel eyes and make their way down his pale cheeks. His pupils were blown wide from the shock and sweat appeared at the hairline of his chestnut hair.
“That’s it,” Henry continued. “Breathe in deeply on the count of five and breathe out again on five. In through your nose and out through your mouth. You’re doing great.”
Without even realizing it, Henry had begun to stroke Colton’s right arm with his left hand while placing his right hand on Colton’s heaving chest. The chest muscles were tensing and releasing while Colton’s heart pounded frantically beneath Henry’s palm.
Still looking directly into Henry’s eyes, Colton attempted to say something, but Henry shushed him like he would a small child.
“Shh, it’s alright. Everything is fine. You’re going to be okay. I’ve got you. You’re safe.” He continued to guide Colton through his restricted breathing and slowly but surely, he felt Colton calm down, his frantic breathing evening out slightly. “It was just a car. It backfired. Everything is okay. You’re fine.”
Tears continued to trail down Colton’s cheeks, but the trembling appeared to be subsiding, as he slowly gained control and returned to the present moment.
