THEY COULDN’T HAVEpicked a busier time to go for breakfast at the diner even if they’d tried. Sunday mornings following Pastor Midlake’s sermon were always drawing the locals in for a healthy dose of biscuits, gravy and syrupy pancakes. It was apparently their way of digesting the Bible readings – grease, sugar and fat. It wasn’t that the good pastor was particularly old-school in his preaching, however, it still took some stamina to spend ninety minutes on a wooden church bench early Sunday morning.
Colton hadn’t been to church since Will’s funeral, however, every Sunday morning of his childhood had been spent sitting next to his father trying not to doze off as he counted the cracks in the church ceiling.
Once he was a teenager, he’d questioned the necessity of going to church every week, however, his father ended the discussion with a statement that he couldn’t really argue against.
“The Lord gave you life, so the least you can do, is give Him one hour of your time once a week.”
Colton had wanted to say that it was closer to two hours, but the expression on his father’s face had told him that he’d better leave it.
Well, the Lord may have given him life, but he sure knew how to take things away too. First his mom and later his Army buddies. If there were a great divine spreadsheet somewhere, he was pretty sure he knew who owed whom.
“You ready?” Henry smiled at him, looking out through the dusty side window at the buzzing diner.
“Yep, let’s go,” Colton opened the door and jumped out of the truck. He went around the front and waited for Henry to jump out too. He looked particularly fine this morning, blond locks spilling into his sky-blue eyes, mirroring the blue of his thick sweater. It was a clear day but with a biting chill in the air. Henry’s cheeks were dotted with pink, competing with his sporadic freckles, and he was biting his bottom lip furiously.
“We don’t have to go in,” Henry mumbled, looking at the elderly couple coming out of the diner just as a young woman with a toddler was entering. “We can eat at Gran’s. I mean, it looks busy… Right…?” Colton kicked his solid work boot against Henry’s hiking boot.
“Are you chickening out on me, sweetheart?”
Henry looked away from the diner with a startled look in his eyes. The endearment had slipped from Colton’s lips like the most natural thing in the world.
“No…” Henry grinned at him, the rosiness of his cheeks now spilling over into pink. “I just wanted you to know that we don’t have to advertise it in front of the entire population of Hayley’s Peak.” He kicked at the dust with the tip of his boot.
“I don’t need a way out if that’s what you mean. Do you need a way out?” He grabbed Henry’s chin with his thumb and index finger, forcing the younger man to look at him.
“No, of course not. But I’m not the one they’ll be talking about, Colton. They already know that I’m batting for my own team. It’s you who’ll be the talk of the town. Are you sure you’re ready for that?” Henry’s voice had taken on an edge as he spoke. Almost like he was bracing himself for rejection.
“They can talk all they want. I don’t care about stuff like that. I never have. I already live with Hank, my queer uncle. If it’d bothered me so much what people say, do you really think that I’d have stayed with Hank?”
“Don’t pretend that this isn’t different,” Henry challenged. “Walking in there with me on a Sunday, acting like boyfriends. I mean, you might as well put an announcement in theSneak a Peak. ‘Colton Dietrich is fucking the local vet.’” Henry’s eyes were blazing by now and Colton had a feeling that this was about more than just walking into the diner together.
“Well, it’s true, isn’t it? Look, I know your parents acted like homophobic assholes when they found out about you. And I’m not saying that there aren’t people who’ll look at us with disgust like what we’re doing is wrong and filthy. But look at your gran? She didn’t care. And people here? They still come by your clinic, don’t they?”
It was weird that he was suddenly the one trying to talk Henry into not being afraid of the opinion of others when it was always Henry who made him feel safe and good about himself. He was the one who told Colton again and again that he could move on. That he deserved to move on. That he mattered. And now suddenly the younger man stood next to him, shoulders slumped, looking defeated. He reached out and brushed his fingers against the palm of Henry’s right hand.
“Hey, look at me, will ya?” He folded his hand around Henry’s much smaller one, squeezing it tightly. He was met with two worried eyes. “I’m done pretending that one day I’ll meet a woman who I’ll feel attracted to. I’m almost forty. Don’t you think it would’ve happened by now? And I’m done with other people making assumptions on my behalf. That I’m gonna meet a nice woman at church and have some kids and settle down with her. I don’t want a nice woman. I don’t want to fit in just for the sake of fitting in. I want you, goddammit! There’s no pretending about this. Not from my end!”
The elderly couple, who had now reached their car, turned in their direction, and Colton realized that he’d probably raised his voice an octave or two in frustration. He waived at them with an apologetic smile.
“Morning, ma’am. Sir.” Then he turned back to face Henry.
“It’s not that I doubt you or anything. I just want you to know that coming out isn’t a one-time thing.” Henry swallowed before continuing. “Everywhere we go as a couple. Every time we meet new people. It’s all the time. You may think that it’s not a big deal now, but with time you may not see it that way.” The words came spilling out, Henry’s eyes flicking back and forth between the busy diner and Colton.
“I know, sweetheart. But there’s no alternative as I see it. I’m not gonna hide how I feel about you. About us. And I don’t think you want to either.” Without realizing it, he’d pulled Henry closer to him, both arms wrapped around the other man’s waist.
“I don’t. I just don’t want you to regret anything.” Henry had linked his arms around Colton’s neck and an insecure smile showed on his face.
Just then, Vernon came out of the diner holding a filled trashcan and stopped as he noticed the two of them. For a moment, Vernon just stared at them embracing each other. Then recognition appeared in his eyes.
“Hey, boys,” the older man yelled from across the street. “Tilly saved you your usual table. See you inside?” Then he turned around and disappeared into the diner.
Henry looked dumbfounded for a moment before he released his breath and a puzzledhuhescaped him. Colton picked up where they’d left off before they’d been interrupted by Vernon.
“I’m not gonna have any regrets. Besides, I’m no actor. Couldn’t be even if I tried.”
“What?” Henry stared at him, confusion in his eyes.
“You asked before, if we should just walk in there, acting like boyfriends. I’m telling you. There’s no acting about it.” He spoke the last words in a steady voice as he held on to Henry’s chin with a firm grip.
