He knew that the nightmares were not going to go away by themselves, but he didn’t feel like talking to some stranger about something that couldn’t be changed anyhow. It wasn’t going to bring Will back, was it now? Or make Jack any less of an invalid. Or get Reed to pick up his phone when Colton tried to check in on him. Nor would it erase the pictures in his head of the demolished children’s hospital or the dead soldiers at the air base. He didn’t want to talk about death. He just wanted to forget about it. Move on with his life, like he was trying to do now.
It had been bad enough talking to Will’s mother at the memorial at their house in Portland. He’d only gone because Will’s mother had reached out to him, and he didn’t see a way out of going that wouldn’t make him appear like an inconsiderate asshole. No, it was better to let it rest. It wasn’t so bad. Nothing that he couldn’t handle.
Colton shook his head at Hank and went back to working on the car.
“I don’t wanna talk about it, Hank. I’m not gonna let some head doctor poke at me, telling me that I need to deal with my feelings and stuff.”
Hank squeezed his shoulder once again and nodded. “Sure thing, son,” the older man replied. “I’m just gonna go wash up. I’ll leave you to it.”
“Yeah, see you in a bit, Hank.” He picked up the wrench again and went back to working on the Ford. Yeah, he didn’t want to think about it anymore.Think about Henry. Think about the date tomorrow night. Shit, he was going on a date.
CHAPTER THIRTY
Henry
HENRY HAD PICKEDup Colton at Hank’s place and was almost blown away by the unfiltered sexiness of his date. Wearing dark jeans which hugged his muscular thighs in all the right places and a dark grey button down making the color of his hazel eyes almost sparkle, Colton was the embodiment of hot maleness. Plain and simple. His hair, which had grown out since arriving in Hayley’s Peak, was combed back, giving Henry a full view of his broad cheekbones and stubbled chin. Colton had rewarded him with a sexy half-smile when Henry had failed to hold back aJesus, you look fucking hot.
Henry, wanting to keep the date casual, had opted for a pair of navy chinos and a light grey sweater. He’d left his blond hair without any products, going for a more boyish look. He knew he looked good, but he still felt relieved when he saw Colton’s heated and appreciative gaze roaming all over his body.
They’d both been quiet for the first part of the drive to Whitney and Henry noticed that Colton kept fidgeting with his coat zipper. The silence between them wasn’t exactly uncomfortable and it didn’t bother him. It was more the fact that he didn’t want Colton to feel pressured in any way. Sure, Colton was the one who’d initiated most of their sexual encounters so far, but Henry had a feeling that at some point it would hit Colton that he’d been with another man.
“Are you nervous?” he looked away from the road momentarily, glancing at Colton.
“That obvious, huh?” Colton looked up and blushed adorably. Henry couldn’t get enough of this man. Sometimes shy and quiet, other times flirty and cocky. Henry smiled and took the turn towards Whitney before replying.
“Yeah, kind of. You don’t have to be though. It’s really not that different from being on a date with a woman. I mean, it is, but we don’t have to be obvious about it at the restaurant. I mean, that we’re on a date. Not that we are men. That would be weird…” he trailed off cursing himself at his nervous rambling. That wasn’t exactly beneficial if he wanted to reassure Colton that there was nothing to be nervous about.
Colton looked at him with a soft smile.
“Well, I wouldn’t know anyhow. I’ve never been on a date with anyone before.” He spoke the words so matter-of-factly. Like it was the most normal thing in the world for a thirty-nine-year-old man to never have been on a date before.
“You’ve never been on a date?” Henry repeated.
“Nope.”
“But what about in high school or the prom?” Somehow, he found it hard to believe that a beautiful and sexy man like Colton had never once in his life been on a date.
“Nope. Just went with the guys.” Colton looked stoically at Henry, not really revealing anything.
“Aww, I’m your first then,” Henry winked teasingly. They were nearing the city now and the Saturday evening traffic was dense.
“Yes. I guess you’re gonna be a lot of my firsts,” Colton winked back with a smirk, and Henry once again felt the usual lightness between them returning.
“I guess I am.” It felt surprisingly nice thinking of himself as being Colton’s first date.
“Are you nervous?” Colton continued. “I mean, being back in Whitney. It’s where your folks live, isn’t it?” He had a serious frown in his forehead and Henry felt a warmth building in his chest from the genuine concern on Colton’s face.
“Not really. I mean, sure they still live here, but I’m not worried about running into them. It would be weird but more for them, I guess. I’m comfortable with who I am. I have nothing to hide.” He turned into a parking lot next to a steak house and after parking the car, he turned in his seat facing Colton. “They’ll never change how they feel about me being gay. Just like I’ll never stop being gay. It’s just the way it is. I accepted that a long time ago. Do I wish things were different? Sure. But I’ve put that part of my life behind me a long time ago, and it’s not going to cast a shadow over our date tonight.”
Removing his seat belt, Henry opened the door and looked over his shoulder at Colton.
“Don’t move,” he grinned. He then ran along at the back of the car and to the other side grabbing the handle on Colton’s side. He opened the door and looked directly into Colton’s warm eyes, feeling his entire body light up with anticipation. He reached out his hand without looking away, feeling it tremble slightly.
“Come on.” For just a moment Henry felt uncertain and weirdly vulnerable. But before he could overthink the situation and worry that this would be too much, he felt the familiarity of Colton’s hand as he entwined his fingers with Henry’s own. He couldn’t help smiling broadly, almost ridiculously at this simple gesture of holding Colton’s hand. It felt right. Even though they’d been naked together and gotten each other off, this somehow felt more important, more intimate. This was something couples did, not just friends-with-benefits. This felt like more than just hooking up occasionally. This felt like a real date. And like a promise of more.
As they walked towards the entrance of the steak house, he felt the firmness of Colton’s hand calming all thoughts in his head. Henry tightened his hold on the other man’s hand and Colton squeezed back as if almost silently communicating back to him:I am here. I am in this with you. I want this too. I want you too.
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
